I wouldn't tell you that your family isn't real. Of course not! That was a bad word choice. I'm not exactly the paragon of excellent wording right now.
But I think - I don't know what I think, other than that I had it in my head, like an idiot, that things would be simple. That it happens like in books, where people meet again after years and it all works out, easy as pie.
I just know I took the chance to actually be honest about what I was feeling and it got thrown back in my face. Or it feels like it has been, now.
It took so much nerve to actually say all of that. It's not worth putting everything on the line again. It's not just me I have to think about. I can't put the girls through this again.
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But I think - I don't know what I think, other than that I had it in my head, like an idiot, that things would be simple. That it happens like in books, where people meet again after years and it all works out, easy as pie.
I just know I took the chance to actually be honest about what I was feeling and it got thrown back in my face. Or it feels like it has been, now.
It took so much nerve to actually say all of that. It's not worth putting everything on the line again. It's not just me I have to think about. I can't put the girls through this again.