I know. My dear, sweet little Trollki elicits so many screams when I take him out of the dorms, poor baby. He's just a big fuzzy sweetypoo, so misunderstood and unappreciated.

Okay, so let me make sure I understand what you're trying to do. You want something you can strap to your wrist that will ejaculate webbing that will allow you to swing from building to building.

I'm thinking silly string.