I'm sorry, but have you seen Prescott's journal entry? And Kirkland's? Apparently, they haven't quite figured out that having to play on the quidditch team is occasionally a direct result of attending the tryouts. And the upshot of this is that half our chasers have no desire to be there and our team is essentially doomed.

[Filtered to Marceline]

Or alternatively, this is an elaborate ruse and Kirkland is a little smarter than he looks. Who knew?
Just keep acting like I'm hurting your delicate feelings.