AVAST!!

[wwistful]

To whom it may concern,
We've taken liberties with the spoils of your castle but it is not nearly enough to quench our desires for vast riches.
As such, we have taken one of your fine wenches and are holding her hostage.
If somebody does not pay us a handsome fee we shall be setting sail with her on the morrow

Bring all your valuables to our ship or you will never see her again. (Your bodies are an acceptable form of payment. As is booze.)



[[ooc: Murdoc and Dirk are PIRATES for the wish event and Dolores humored them a little too much. Murdoc has wished himself a ship into the lake. It is full of booze.]]

Comments

[notthebee2]

you 2ound liike you need a triip two the iinfiirmary.

[grandhighwizard]

i'd like to know who this wench is
BEFORE I RISK MY VALUABLES.

[wwistful]

You sound like you need a smack.

[wwistful]

The doe eyed one with the long legs.

[grandhighwizard]

[There are a few teachers who could be described at doe-eyed, and a few with long legs, but only one Rhys can think of with both.]

DOLORES.
and your ship is on the lake, is it?

[notthebee2]

oh really?
well then iif youre 2uch brave and iintrepiid piirate2 you 2hould kiidnap me 2o ii learn my place.
ii am 2o 2cared.

[wwistful]

Where better to place a ship than a large body of water? Of course.

Will you be paying us a visit?

[grandhighwizard]

WHY NOT?
i have a little time on my hands, my lad.

[wwistful]

Are you a lass or a lad?

[notthebee2]

ii am but a helple22 prince22 from a dii2tant kiingdom, carele22ly traveliing through foreiign land2, unaware of the danger2 that 2urround my every move.

[wwistful]

I shall await your company, then.

[wwistful]

How long are your legs?

[notthebee2]

a2 long a2 a cheap pro2tiitute2.

[wwistful]

Where are you located?

[grandhighwizard]

[And not long after, a woman will appear at the shore of the lake. She's very tall (though not as tall as, say, Mamma Gkika), and what can only be described as shapely, even Amazonian, with sharp, foxy features and a little Mona Lisa smile. She looks around for the ship as she walks down to the water in long, ground-eating strides. Rhys hadn't bothered to dress like a woman, simply transfiguring some of his regular clothes into something more suited to her current body. Which meant flowing linen pants which hugged her hips, and a tunic top with a plunging neckline. Of course, feminine underwear was a little harder to accomplish, so there's quite a bit of movement under that tunic as she walks.]

[notthebee2]

ii am 2iittiing lake2iide, enjoyiing the view a2 a lady of my 2tature 2hould, under the guii2e of a 14 year old boy.





iit2 for 2afety purpo2e2.

[bonafide_divinity]

[This is a pop quiz, isn't it? Very clever Professor Donoghue.]

Professor Donoghue,

While I understand your insatiable thirst for riches -and believe me, I do- [inkblot] if you'll take a moment to think about this logically, you'll probably realize that if you've already plundered the entire castle; nobody in it will have the means to provide you with a handsome fee.

So really, [inkblot] you would be much better off seeking riches elsewhere.

And releasing your hostage because [inkblots] she probably won't be much use on the journey.

[wwistful]

There are riches in this world that aren't plated with gold, lad. I'm giving the castle a perfectly open opportunity to be creative with their blessings.

I can think of at least three uses, but I shall hardly be writing them down for you.

[wwistful]

Why don't you climb aboard, princess?

[notthebee2]

a per2on of my rankiing would never dare two let her2elf be kiidnapped by 2uch foul viillaiiny!
where are my per2onal guard2?
your priince22 ii2 iin danger!!

[wwistful]

[Murdoc has entrusted Dolores into the hands of his first mate Dirk for the moment. So now he's leaning lazily over the side of his ship with a nicely aged bottle of rum practically hanging from his hand. What does he care if he drops it? This ship is almost 80% alcohol related cargo.

When he sees Rhys (hell if he knows who he is right now) approach, he props his chin up on one hand and leers down at her.]

What've we got here?

[bonafide_divinity]

Three uses? You're a resourceful man, Professor Donoghue. However, with all due respect,[pause] think you should probably know that if your hostage isn't used to a life at sea, they probably won't be able to serve your purposes as well as you would like. And ultimately [inkblot] they'll just end up being dead weight unless [pause]

I have a proposition for you, Professor Donoghue. Release your hostage and I will happily escort you to the kitchens where you will be able to help yourself to anything you would like. That way you won't be needing your hostage [inkblot]</small] in case of emergency.

[wwistful]

You're going to make me work for it aren't you?


[He's too drunk for this Sollux.]

[greenteengenius]

What is a wench?

[grandhighwizard]

[Well, that's made it more than obvious that Murdoc is under some kind of magical influence, much the way she is right now. Smiling wickedly up at him, she pulls her wand, neatly accio'ing the bottle of rum right out of his loose grip and catching it as it flies through the air to her. A few long swallows as she tilts her head back reveal the strong lines of her long neck, and then she arches an eyebrow up at him, as if in challenge.]