sortinghat_rp | TWO ♋ FILTERED from JADE HARLEY

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TWO ♋ FILTERED from JADE HARLEY

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME NEXT HOGSMEADE WEEKEND WAS FUCKING VALENTINE'S DAY WEEKEND???

Oh my god, you've gotta be kidding me. Please tell me you saw the date wrong. Are you sure it's not the 13th? The 15th? Is it seriously, actually on Valentine's day?

I THOUGHT I DID, BUT I DOUBLE CHECKED. IT MIGHT BE ON TUESDAY BUT IT'S STILL VALENTINE'S DAY WEEKEND.
YOU KNOW THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF FUCKING DIPSHIT EXCUSE FOR THE TEACHERS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN ANYWAY.

This is so screwed up. I don't even know what to do now! Why didn't I think to check the dates? I forgot it was even coming up. God, I should've known, I shouldn't have- Damn it!

SORRY TO BE THE BEARER OF FUCKING BAD NEWS.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS.

So what, you got asked to Hogsmeade by someone and it wasn't supposed to be like a date at all, either?

Not that going on Valentine's would make it a date or anything! Because it doesn't. At all.

MORE LIKE I GOT FUCKING BRIBED INTO TAKING HER OUT FOR BUTTERBEER AS AN APOLOGY.
IT DEFINITELY DOESN'T, BUT IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING AWKWARD AS HELL.

Well for me it's apparently his way of trying to apologize. Even though I already forgave him.

I hate Hogsmeade. I'm never going again. It's evil. And so is Valentine's.

A-FUCKING-MEN. LET'S DO THAT. LET'S NEVER STEP FOOT IN THAT SHITHOLE OF A VILLAGE AGAIN.

That sounds like a great idea. I mean it's not even that good! Stuff like Butterbeer can be bought somewhere else, and Diagon Alley has everything. Hogsmeade is just here to torture everyone.

SERIOUSLY. I'VE HAD FUCKING BETTER AND I BARELY LIKE THE SHIT.
HOGSMEADE IS PLOTTING AGAINST US.
IT'S SECRETLY A STEPFORD VILLAGE WITH PLANS TO ASSIMILATE EVERYONE INTO ITS FUCKED UP VIEWS AND SHIT.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE'LL BE SMILING LIKE CLUELESS BITCHES AND OFFERING FUCKING TEA.

Oh, god. That explains so much. I'm avoiding tea until after Valentine's now. It's probably how they do it.

[Inkblots]

I wonder if tearing up my permission slip will stop me from having to go. I could pretend someone's cat did it.

[For a moment he wonders if he should point out he was being sarcastic, but nah, this could be fun.]

YOU COULD ALWAYS TAKE IT TO THE FUCKING OWLERY. THAT MIGHT MAKE IT A LITTLE LESS SUSPICIOUS.

[Jude really hopes Karkat knows she was just playing along, though she was totes serious about destroying her permission slip, because fuck Hogsmeade.]

How would I explain an owl getting hold of my permission slip?

[Welp]

HELL IF I FUCKING KNOW. OWLS ARE TRICKY BASTARDS.

'Sorry Stephen, an owl managed to grab my permission slip and ganged up on it with the other owls and now it's completely destroyed. I don't know how it happened, but y'know, they're tricky bastards like that.'

Doesn't really sound realistic.

YOU KNOW, NORMALLY I'D SAY NOT MY PROBLEM, BUT ROMANCE IS MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
UNLESS THIS STEPHEN GUY IS A COMPLETE TOOL, THAT'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GO OVER HIS HEAD, NO FUCKING SHIT.

He's not a tool, so yeah, I kinda figured that it wouldn't go over his head.

[Inkblots for a moment.]

This is stupid. I mean, maybe we're over reacting. Who cares if it's on Valentine's? I mean, it doesn't make it a date. We could just... ignore the decorations. Or. Ooor we could visit the shrieking shack. I'm pretty sure they don't decorate that for Valentine's.

[And now she's kina rambling.]

YEAH. YEAH, WE'RE JUST OVERREACTING.
STUPID VALENTINE'S.
WHOEVER INVENTED THE FUCKING HOLIDAY NEEDS TO BE SHOT.

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TWO ♋ FILTERED from JADE HARLEY

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