TWO ♋ FILTERED from JADE HARLEY

[selfhatred]

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME NEXT HOGSMEADE WEEKEND WAS FUCKING VALENTINE'S DAY WEEKEND???

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[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[selfhatred]

SERIOUSLY. I'VE HAD FUCKING BETTER AND I BARELY LIKE THE SHIT.
HOGSMEADE IS PLOTTING AGAINST US.
IT'S SECRETLY A STEPFORD VILLAGE WITH PLANS TO ASSIMILATE EVERYONE INTO ITS FUCKED UP VIEWS AND SHIT.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE'LL BE SMILING LIKE CLUELESS BITCHES AND OFFERING FUCKING TEA.

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[instantdrama]

Oh, god. That explains so much. I'm avoiding tea until after Valentine's now. It's probably how they do it.

[Inkblots]

I wonder if tearing up my permission slip will stop me from having to go. I could pretend someone's cat did it.

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[selfhatred]

[For a moment he wonders if he should point out he was being sarcastic, but nah, this could be fun.]

YOU COULD ALWAYS TAKE IT TO THE FUCKING OWLERY. THAT MIGHT MAKE IT A LITTLE LESS SUSPICIOUS.

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[instantdrama]

[Jude really hopes Karkat knows she was just playing along, though she was totes serious about destroying her permission slip, because fuck Hogsmeade.]

How would I explain an owl getting hold of my permission slip?

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[selfhatred]

[Welp]

HELL IF I FUCKING KNOW. OWLS ARE TRICKY BASTARDS.

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[instantdrama]

'Sorry Stephen, an owl managed to grab my permission slip and ganged up on it with the other owls and now it's completely destroyed. I don't know how it happened, but y'know, they're tricky bastards like that.'

Doesn't really sound realistic.

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[selfhatred]

YOU KNOW, NORMALLY I'D SAY NOT MY PROBLEM, BUT ROMANCE IS MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
UNLESS THIS STEPHEN GUY IS A COMPLETE TOOL, THAT'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GO OVER HIS HEAD, NO FUCKING SHIT.

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[instantdrama]

He's not a tool, so yeah, I kinda figured that it wouldn't go over his head.

[Inkblots for a moment.]

This is stupid. I mean, maybe we're over reacting. Who cares if it's on Valentine's? I mean, it doesn't make it a date. We could just... ignore the decorations. Or. Ooor we could visit the shrieking shack. I'm pretty sure they don't decorate that for Valentine's.

[And now she's kina rambling.]

[all the filters ALL OF THEM!!]

[selfhatred]

YEAH. YEAH, WE'RE JUST OVERREACTING.
STUPID VALENTINE'S.
WHOEVER INVENTED THE FUCKING HOLIDAY NEEDS TO BE SHOT.