sortinghat_rp | 013.5 [filtered to Dolores]

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013.5 [filtered to Dolores]

_{[After the argument... and following discussion with Bro, Dirk makes his way to the hospital wing to find Dolores. He's not even sure what he's going to tell her yet, if anything. He just wants a hug from her. It's weird; for most of life he hasn't had a maternal figure in his life but now he's kind of just wants to be comforted by her more than anything.

But he can't find her, even after he lets himself into the back room. That in itself is enough to upset him all over again.]}

Ms Maryam? Where are you? I can't find you and I really need to see you right now.

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Im In My Quarters Sweetie.
Where Are You, Ill Come To You.

In the back room at the hospital wing.

Get Yourself Some Juice Dirk Ill Be Right There.

[And she makes her way there as soon as she can, pushing the door of the back room open and shutting it as soon as she's inside]

Yes ma'am.

_{[While he waits, he finds some orange juice and drinks at it slowly while he wakes. As soon as she's in the room though, he's getting up and hugging her.]}

Oh, dear...

[It's become commonplace for him to seek her out when he's upset, and she can't help the faint smile when he hugs her. She rests her hand on the back of his head and ruffles gently at his hair]

What's happened?

_{[He hugs her even tighter before finally admitting what happened.]}

I got into a really bad argument and it's my fault for it.

[It's not hard for her to scoop him up off the floor just like last time, and she holds him against her, dropping a kiss on the side of his head]

Do you want to tell me about it?

_{[He readjusts his clinging and sets his head on her shoulder.]}

Yeah. I just. I was...and kinda still am, really mad at Uncle Dirk. And after the game I drew him a gold star and it just went downhill from there. We argued about everything.

[There's a small hesitation, then. Dolores moves to one of the chairs and sits, making the boy comfortable on her lap]

Is this because he punched Professor Rhydderch?

[Ohhh she had not approved of that. Not at all]

Yes. That's what started it, anyway. Because he shouldn't have done that. It was embarrassing and disappointing and he shouldn't have done that. He won't apologise either. And then from there he was just like "I'm not perfect Dirk blah blah" and I was like "I know, what was I even thinking." And then he requested I lay out my grievances. But worded differently.

[She sighs. She doesn't know what's going on between the two professors, but she does think that Professor Strider shouldn't be setting such a poor example. He's always seemed quite decent, the times she's spoken to him, so for him to do something like that.. The only reason she hasn't involved herself is a lack of information.

Her fingers brush lightly through his hair, and she makes a soft, soothing sound]

Go on..

_{[He leans against her, eye closing for a moment because the gesture itself is comforting.]}

So I told him, apart from that, I was really annoyed that he didn't tell me Rose was my cousin this whole time. It's not like he didn't know! She's his kid! He should've told me. And then he just used the stupid custody battle as his excuse for everything and it's like that's all I even am. A huge problem for everyone.

He was like no, you're not. You're not an obligation, blah blah, but I just don't even see it.

[This.. is more complicated than she thought. That Rose Lalonde is Dirk's cousin doesn't come as that much of a surprise to her, and she's honestly stunned that Dirk hasn't been told before now. Then.. a custody battle? Oh, no wonder he's sleeping so badly that it makes him sick.

She continues lightly petting his hair, and lets out of soft hum of thought mixed with a reassuring coo against his hairline as she presses a light kiss there]

I'm sure he loves you very much.. Perhaps he is simply not good at expressing it.

Maybe. But that doesn't make me feel any better. I mean. I know he does. But a lot of the time it just feels like things would've been better if I wasn't around. It'd be better if Dad hadn't died. I wouldn't cause so much trouble.

Why do you cause trouble, Dirk?

[She doesn't think for a moment that he truly causes that much trouble, and her voice is softly encouraging rather than accusatory. It's so difficult to get children to talk, especially when they're so young and so hurt]

Because I'm the one Uncle Dirk is having to fight over. I'm the one who was problematic enough to somehow make it so I don't have a single parent. I'm the one who's been a burden and who's added so much tension to everything.

Sweetheart..

[She shifts, moving him away from her just a little so she can look at his face. Her thumb brushes the arm of his shades but she doesn't take them from him]

That your parents are gone is not your fault. Sometimes.. sometimes we are dealt a bad hand by Fate and it is down to us to make the best of it. You found a safe place, and a family that is willing to fight tooth and nail to see you happy. You are a very lucky boy, to have those things.

I guess you're right.

_{[By his tone, he means to indicate he knows she is, but it doesn't make it better.]}

I shouldn't complain. But it's this feeling like nothing is okay and even when I think it's getting better, something happens and it's back to not being okay.

[She sighs gently. Such pain in someone so young, it almost breaks her heart to see it. Lightly, she smooths his hair back and hugs him a little closer to her]

I think that I would prefer to hear you complain, than to have you hold all of this inside.

The problem is, by now I don't really have much of a right to complain.

You don't? Why ever not?

I don't have it as bad as some people, probably. I mean. Not even probably. People do. Before Uncle Dirk came for me, I was at an orphanage, I guess? It was a place Social Services took me to after... I didn't know if he was gonna come or not, but there were some kids that didn't have anyone to even hope for coming. So it's dumb for me to complain.

Dirk.. knowing that other people are not as lucky as you doesn't take away your right to complain when you find your own life becoming difficult. You are not them, and they are not you. Your hardships are not invalidated by theirs.

But if I think about it, it makes me see that my situation is no big deal. Why am I even upset? I shouldn't be.

You have every right to be upset.. Your situation is a 'big deal' for you, and for your uncle. It affects the both of you very deeply. If you were not upset, I would have more reason to be concerned.

I guess you're right. I just don't know anymore and I'm tired of everything.

I understand, dear..

[And she does. More than she would be willing to go into detail over.]

Would you like to stay here for a while?

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013.5 [filtered to Dolores]

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