☠ 003

[ficklefuckwit]

[There are a lot of inkblots, like Jake is tapping his pen against the paper rapid-fire. Then there's an entire green smear across the page, like he knocked his entire thing of ink over onto it. Finally, there are words.]

Confound it i just cant stop shaking.
Dirk roxy i need to speak with you both posthaste im in a bit of a tizz here.

[He makes an attempt at a filter, but fails splendiforously at it.]

What would be a good halloween costume to pair with a flapper?

Comments

fail-filtered in return

[ficklefuckwit]

Roxy help ive been swayed by the wiles of a lovely lady.
Ive fallen and i cant get up.
Im pretty sure im still falling actually.
Is this what growing up is like??

perma-filter

[bev_rage]

OMG
omg
mog
jakeys in luuuuuuurv luuuuuuv
deets deets gime deets!
whts her name wats her house wahts her year
is she qt???

[ficklefuckwit]

[More inkblots. Gosh he just can't keep his head on straight. He rolls around on his bed for a while again and then finally scrawls in his journal, promptly scribbling over everything once he figures Roxy's had enough time to read what he's written.]

Her name is rose lalonde and shes a fourth year slytherin and shes completely out of my league!!!

[ficklefuckwit]

[A moment later.]

Come to think of it...
Your last name is lalonde too isnt it.

[ficklefuckwit]

OH GOD IVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR SISTER OR YOUR SOMETHING.

[bev_rage]

ur crushin on my CUOSEN COUSIN????

[ficklefuckwit]

[Oh God please just kill him now. Please. He can't. He's done. No more for Jake English. Died of sheer embarrassment from crushing all the fuck over his two best friends' cousins.]

[It doesn't help that he assumes Roxy's angry from her text.]

Oh bother.
Goodness i didnt even think i should have realized sooner roxy im sorry.
I promise i wont even think of her in such a way again this is so terribly and awfully rude of me i hope i havent offended you too terribly.
Good gravy. Way to be a bumbling dunce hat in plaid knickers english.

[bev_rage]

watre u apologizin for this's the most adorabooble thing 2 hapen this year
u've got the hots for rosie mog
tell me evrytnig!!!

[ficklefuckwit]

[He actually flops backward and lays on his pillows for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling in a dazed state of pure relief. He was terrified for a moment there that in his lovestruck haze he'd offended one of his best friends. He sits back up and there are a good number of ink blots before he writes in very small green lettering.]

Shes a divine lovely lady and a joy to chat with. Shes offered to help tutor me should i have any trouble with my studies and im going to help her with her halloween party.
I believe im going to match her costume and everything.
Golly.
Roxy are you busy? I feel like this might be a conversation better held in person.

[bev_rage]

hoyl shit ur just head ovr heels fallin down a whole flight of stars stairs arencha
yea im just doin homework it'll take me 10 mins 2 do this whole essay so it can w8
where u wanna meet jakey?

[ficklefuckwit]

[Ugh awkward squirmy rolling he can't take this!!!]

I could always let you in the gryffindor common room if youd like.