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sortinghat_rp2012-03-02 07:18 pm
cptjackharkness) wrote in sortinghat_rp2012-03-02 07:18 pm
Entry tags:
Entry 1
So first, I'd like to congratulate my house on an excellent showing at the last match. Yeah lions!
Second, I've just finished compiling this and figured I'd share it.
The Harkness Guide to Swimming At Hogwarts:
Now, gentle readers, I shall impress upon your young minds the sort of information that really, when it comes down to it, I should be charging you all to read, instead of journalling for free.
The most obvious spot on the grounds is the Lake. It's miles deep and mostly seaweed free on the east side, for those of you who would rather not have to deal with grindylows right off. (Aye, that's right lads and lasses, here there be all sarts'a beasties swimmin' in the loch wi' ya.) Special notes include the Giant Squid, who will mostly keep to himself, though has been known to get a little handsy (tentacly?) when swimming in the buff. (Seriously, you probably don't want to know. Though if interested I can, with the help of a few butterbeers, be persuaded to tell the tale. Inquiries made to J. Harkness, Gryffindor House) There are also Merpeople, but I've been swimming here for years and have only seen what I think was a merwoman once. They do, most unfortunately, cover their tops.
Other locations include, from what I hear, Prefect Bathrooms. I have yet to manage to break into one to see for myself, but I have it on good authority that they get a whole bloody pool to bathe Themselves in, while the rest of us are reduced to those tiny shower stalls in the House lavatories. (Bloody favouritism, if you ask me.)
I've also heard rumours of another small lake in the Forbidden Forest, but as it's forbidden I, of course, have never been there and never in the future would endeavor to find it, if indeed it exists at all. That said, sources have thought it to be relatively deep, enough so that should an average hypothetical thirteen year old male dive in from a nearby tree branch hanging over it, he would not be in danger of hurting himself.
Finally, in the deepest dungeon, just beyond the Caretaker's office, there resides a sort of in-ground water pit. From everything I've discovered in my research, it used to be part of the extensive punitive system of yore, which makes swimming in it somewhat morbid. However, it exists all the same, and, should one be looking for a place to hide after making a dazzling escape from the aforementioned office, a simple bubblehead charm and you're virtually indectable.
Thus concludes the Harkness Swimming Guide to Hogwarts. (Donations can be forwarded once again to J. Harkness, second bed on the left, Fifth year Dorms, Gryffindor House.)
Second, I've just finished compiling this and figured I'd share it.
The Harkness Guide to Swimming At Hogwarts:
Now, gentle readers, I shall impress upon your young minds the sort of information that really, when it comes down to it, I should be charging you all to read, instead of journalling for free.
The most obvious spot on the grounds is the Lake. It's miles deep and mostly seaweed free on the east side, for those of you who would rather not have to deal with grindylows right off. (Aye, that's right lads and lasses, here there be all sarts'a beasties swimmin' in the loch wi' ya.) Special notes include the Giant Squid, who will mostly keep to himself, though has been known to get a little handsy (tentacly?) when swimming in the buff. (Seriously, you probably don't want to know. Though if interested I can, with the help of a few butterbeers, be persuaded to tell the tale. Inquiries made to J. Harkness, Gryffindor House) There are also Merpeople, but I've been swimming here for years and have only seen what I think was a merwoman once. They do, most unfortunately, cover their tops.
Other locations include, from what I hear, Prefect Bathrooms. I have yet to manage to break into one to see for myself, but I have it on good authority that they get a whole bloody pool to bathe Themselves in, while the rest of us are reduced to those tiny shower stalls in the House lavatories. (Bloody favouritism, if you ask me.)
I've also heard rumours of another small lake in the Forbidden Forest, but as it's forbidden I, of course, have never been there and never in the future would endeavor to find it, if indeed it exists at all. That said, sources have thought it to be relatively deep, enough so that should an average hypothetical thirteen year old male dive in from a nearby tree branch hanging over it, he would not be in danger of hurting himself.
Finally, in the deepest dungeon, just beyond the Caretaker's office, there resides a sort of in-ground water pit. From everything I've discovered in my research, it used to be part of the extensive punitive system of yore, which makes swimming in it somewhat morbid. However, it exists all the same, and, should one be looking for a place to hide after making a dazzling escape from the aforementioned office, a simple bubblehead charm and you're virtually indectable.
Thus concludes the Harkness Swimming Guide to Hogwarts. (Donations can be forwarded once again to J. Harkness, second bed on the left, Fifth year Dorms, Gryffindor House.)
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And hey, that's good info up there. Not only because I needed a distraction from another bloody Charms essay.
I'd assume a young snake like yourself would find that last bit about the one in the dungeons pretty useful, eh?
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bUt I dOn'T kNoW wHaT aLl I'd Be DoInG iN a SwImMiNg PiT iN tHe MoThErFuCkIn DaRk.
EsPeCiAlLy If ThEy'Re DoN't Be No TeNtAcLeS dOwN tHeRe.
;o)
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anywway your list aint hardly complete i wwouldnt cough up a knut for this
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Pray, tell me more. Where else then?
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And we're not the only ones that can go in there, Quidditch captains and their team can too, remember? You're not well-behaved enough to be a prefect, but if you wanted to you could just join the team right?