4 Sad, Sad Stories

[heartwrenching]

Ladies and gentlemen of Hogwarts, I have been doing a great deal of thinking! Oh, this in itself is nothing new, nothing new at all! To make myself excruciatingly clear, I must say that I can't remember the last time my head didn't have at least five thoughts inside biting and clawing and scratching and screaming, screaming, screaming for attention at once!

Of course, that's normal, as everyone knows. But this week, ah, this week! An abnormality is upon me! Most of this week, my thoughts have been dominated by only one subject and, frankly, it's troubling! What an existential crisis! What atrophy, what unknowable terrors lurk beneath the still surface of a placid mind!!

But let me explain what has me in such a sad state: last Sunday's Parents' Day. Or Guardian Day. Or Surprise Ghost Day, let's be inclusive!

Specifically, I am troubled by the cowardly, rotten family trees from which so many of you bud! WHERE is the honesty, WHERE is the pride, WHERE OH WHERE OH WHERE is the fortitude to stick with one's personal choices and convictions!

My most cherished family member can never come for Parents' Day because he will not back down from the choices he has made, yet liars and hypocrites and the spineless are patted on the heads as victims of convenient curses and orders from higher-ups!!

Such transparency!!

Comments

[clockspinner]

yo specter just shut up before you find yourself the victim of a convenient hexing

[heartwrenching]

Strider, I have been informed by particularly reliable sources that if I were to ever, as you put it, "shut up", the pent-up energy that would build in me could prove hazardous to everyone in a wide but as-yet-uncalculated area! I talk because I care.

And what's this? Do I detect the tone of someone with a personal stake in what I've said?

[clockspinner]

yeah i dont think the voices in your head count as particularly reliable sources

no i totally agree with you
cowards and assholes everywhere

[heartwrenching]

The only voice I hear in my head is my own, and I will thank you to remember that. Granted, I do have a lot to say and on so many topics and in such exhaustive breadth and in such different tones and so frequently all at once that to an untrained, amateurish perception, it may seem like a DEAFENING CACOPHONY! But it's always been that way, so I know. Oh, I know it's me.

And if we ARE in agreement, then why put up such a sad, sad, sad little farce of an attempt at a disagreement?

[clockspinner]

because theres a huge fucking difference between talking shit about your own family and talking shit about other peoples
and dude its not our faults that the rotten apples dont fall far from the tree
you cant exactly blame the progeny for its stock man

[heartwrenching]

Without informed criticism, stagnation sets in. Infrastructures rot with corruption, people grow complacent, mediocrity reigns supreme! Societies fall!! Entropy, going out with a pathetic, sad, sad, sad whimper instead of the blood-pumping, life-affirming BANG!

If the progeny decide to condone, implicitly or overtly, or God forbid emulate the hypocrisy of their ancestors, they must accept that blame! Because soon, oh so soon as time marches on like a lead-footed soldier, it will be their blame as well!

[ladyliberty]

Need a distraction?

[heartwrenching]

When the internal resources come up horribly, tragically, NIGHTMARISHLY! lacking, then salvation can only come from external forces! And here I am, undone by my ability to adequately distract myself!

I don't just need a distraction! I require it! And to come up empty may be a matter of life and death.

[ladyliberty]

Well we can't have you kicking it before our last match, can we?

[heartwrenching]

YES! Ahh, Amelia, it's as if this reminder has breathed life's sweet essence into my veins, brightening dulled blood, tensing lax muscles!

We must still climb and, more importantly, carve our names onto the highest peaks of glory.

[ladyliberty]

Sounds like fun! Astronomy tower?