And suddenly it was as if... everything made sense. And it was as if a wall had physically knocked into Tavros, because he drops his quill and it smears ink all over the page as he just sits there, staring. Thinking back, and thinking to the shack, trying to picture it happening, but with little success. But it didn't matter, because. All he could really really focus on was one thing.
That Gamzee hadn't... been joking. And. He'd been the Jade in that situation. Oh god. But. He didn't know what to say, and he just stares at the page, his mind racing a million miles an hour as he tries to digest all this information. Finally, he picks up the quill.]
no, gamzee, no, you're not shitty! not at all, i,,, i'm sorry, you're not a waste, of space, either, please don't, say things like that, you're my best friend, okay? and,,, it is important, because, they're your feelings, and, those are important, to me, i, thought you were joking, i really did, gamzee, i'm sorry, i,,, don't know what's going on, right now, and i don't know what else to say, but,,, i'm sorry, for everything,
but you're the best friend i've ever had, i hope you know that, and,,,
[He wants to say more. He really, really does. But he doesn't know what he actually wants to say, because... he hasn't gotten to that point yet. The words that should come are lost to him, and he just stares at the page, ink dripping onto it for a long time.]
i need to go, too, actually,,, i'm sorry,
[And he closes the journal, because. He doesn't know what to do anymore, and he's just going to curl up in a ball and think. And maybe cry a little, because suddenly everything is so much shittier than it had been a few hours ago, and he's more confused and his headache is growing by the second.
Yeah, he's definitely going to cry, especially thinking how he must have hurt Gamzee so badly. He never meant to be Jade. He never even knew. He was so stupid.]
[Spelled private]
Oh.
Oh.
And suddenly it was as if... everything made sense. And it was as if a wall had physically knocked into Tavros, because he drops his quill and it smears ink all over the page as he just sits there, staring. Thinking back, and thinking to the shack, trying to picture it happening, but with little success. But it didn't matter, because. All he could really really focus on was one thing.
That Gamzee hadn't... been joking. And. He'd been the Jade in that situation. Oh god. But. He didn't know what to say, and he just stares at the page, his mind racing a million miles an hour as he tries to digest all this information. Finally, he picks up the quill.]
no,
gamzee, no, you're not shitty!
not at all, i,,, i'm sorry,
you're not a waste, of space, either,
please don't, say things like that,
you're my best friend, okay?
and,,, it is important, because,
they're your feelings, and, those are important, to me,
i,
thought you were joking,
i really did,
gamzee, i'm sorry,
i,,,
don't know what's going on, right now,
and i don't know what else to say,
but,,, i'm sorry,
for everything,
but you're the best friend i've ever had,
i hope you know that,
and,,,
[He wants to say more. He really, really does. But he doesn't know what he actually wants to say, because... he hasn't gotten to that point yet. The words that should come are lost to him, and he just stares at the page, ink dripping onto it for a long time.]
i need to go, too, actually,,,
i'm sorry,
[And he closes the journal, because. He doesn't know what to do anymore, and he's just going to curl up in a ball and think. And maybe cry a little, because suddenly everything is so much shittier than it had been a few hours ago, and he's more confused and his headache is growing by the second.
Yeah, he's definitely going to cry, especially thinking how he must have hurt Gamzee so badly. He never meant to be Jade. He never even knew. He was so stupid.]