sortinghat_rp | (no subject)

I know. [serenely] I gots all them secrets up in my nug, locked up tight as a motherfuckin' pastor's arsehole.

[He combs his fingers through Equius's hair in long, languid strokes, starting at his temples and then sweeping backwards, silent for a long few moments.] So what is the upness with you and my Tavbro?

That is so lewd, Gamzee. [he wrinkles his nose up in disgust, pulling back to Look at the other boy]

[Not that it lasts long. And this time he really does make a noise because hogosh, that felt really, really nice. Don't mind him leaning against you, Gamzee, he's not cuddling. He's not.]

Ugh, don't even get me started on Nitram. I don't even know where to start. [he huffs, shifting a little bit against Gamzee - still not cuddling] Although, I might as well tell you, since he already went and told Vantas, who will probably tell the whole world now, just to mock me.

I just cannot believe that he is really that stupid, though! I told him he could think of me as a princess as an example of just how little I care about what he thinks, which I said to him, literally, and then he thinks I mean that I really do want him to think of me as a princess. And you know he never gets to the point of anything, so he was sitting there writing away about unicorns and fairies and I agreed to go look with him because I like unicorns. The next thing I know, he wants me to wear a dress, a pink dress, no less, and he wouldn't stop pestering me about it.

And as if this wasn't bad enough, I told him several times I thought the idea of wearing a dress was inappropriate, and yet he asked me about it once again, and acted like he didn't understand why I was mad. Even though I have told him why I disliked the idea, and that I was sending him mixed signals. And then he told Vantas I was going to wear a dress, who is yelling at me to just wear it, damn it, and I just...

[deep breath]

Father is going to be so upset with me.

[Gamzee casually wraps an arm around Equius, ostensibly so he can pet the hair on the other side of the younger boy's head, his fingers teasing out the long strands, then rubbing lightly at the Raveclaw's scalp. Dman, but he could do this for motherfuckin' hours.]

Yeah. [slowly, drawing the word out in a lazy, liquid sort of way] That sounds like my boy.

[Getting focused on one weird detail and then wanting to go see fairies and unicorns? Classic Tavros Nitram. The thought makes the Slytherin smile fondly and lean his cheek briefly against Equius's head.]

It'd be pretty sweet if you found some of them miracle magic horses, for motherfuckin' certain. But how's your da even gonna find that shit out? I don't guess Karkat's gonna be all up and telling him, even if that feisty motherfucker got him the shoutiest word hole around.

How could I keep such a thing a secret from him?

[His voice was small as he said that, curling even closer to Gamzee, the thought of his own confession, worded ten thousand different times, ten thousand different ways playing out in his head. Even if he could manage to keep it inside while at Hogwarts, he could just see himself stepping off the train, his father's imposing figure standing on the platform, waiting for him, and just blurting it out. Every little shameful thought and desire pouring from his lips uncontrollably, because truly, just how could he hide anything from him? Him, the ultimate authority in Equius's life. It hardly mattered if there were higher powers in the world, if his father said to jump, he did not ask questions, he simply jumped.

I am disgusting, Gamzee. Absolutely filthy, and I ought to be punished for letting myself become so execrable.

[That was something Gamzee never really understood - Equius's weird desire for, or at least a fixation on, being punished for his thoughts. It made him feel bad for his friend, made him want to wrap his arms around the younger boy and tell him he was just motherfuckin' miraculous the way he was, without all this other fancy bullshit. Except he wasn't sure Equius would even want to hear that. It was kind of hard to tell with the Ravenclaw.]

I guess I don't be seeing how liking them unicorns, or maybe wanting to wear a dress, is all that motherfuckin' bad. [dubiously, as he cuddled the smaller boy closer] How all do you be wanting to get your wicked atonement on?

The unicorns are fine. [Mostly] It's everything else that was wrong.

[He makes a choked noise as Gamzee asks about punishment, his eyes going a little wide. How could he articulate such thoughts? They were just as wrong as the rest of him, corrupting the very point of the suffering around until it was nothing but a twisted imitation of itself, becoming something to be desired and longed for, not avoid. To be beaten black and blue, his hair pulled and lip split, blood pooling into his mouth, helpless to resist, bowed before another...]

[It scared him as much as it called to him. How could such a thing so self-destructive be a good thing?]

[So instead of replying, he keeps quiet, head bowed and staring at his hands]

[Gamzee's silent for a few moments, too, trying to process that choked noise - is it a sob? Just a sound of distress? Something else? His fingers continue their slow exploration of Equius's hair, but after a few moments he turns his head, pressing his fingers lightly under the other boy's chin and craning his neck at an odd angle to peer into the Ravenclaw's face, trying to ascertain how upset he is.]

[He's thankful for the few moments of silence, of Gamzee not prying, because really, he wouldn't know what to say. His head turns easily when it's nudged up, but his eyes remain averted, a light blush starting to creep onto his cheeks.]

[Aw, ain't that the sweetest motherfuckin' look? Gamzee's not really sure why Equius is blushing, though it is crazy adorable. He often doesn't really get why Equius gets so upset about things, but this kind of seems like a good opportunity, and the Slytherin's not really one to NOT go with whatever impulse he has at the time.

So he strokes a little bit of the Ravenclaw's hair back from his face, leans in, and kisses him.]

[If Equius had been looking at Gamzee, this whole mess would have been averted. As it was, all the warning he had was the gentle brush of fingers against his cheek, then he was pressed lip to lip against the older boy.]

[Immediately, he tensed up, mouth dropping open and staring at him. Hadn't he just gotten through talking about what was appropriate and inappropriate behavior for someone of his status? He was fairly certain that if dress wearing was shameful, then obviously kissing other boys would be just as shameful as well! Really, he knew Gamzee was stupid, but he hadn't realized he was this stupid. To be swapping saliva with a member of the same sex...]

[And why was he sitting there, thinking about it instead of stopping him?]

[Gamzee hadn't quite gotten to the swapping saliva part yet, but when Equius doesn't shove him away, and in fact opens his mouth, well, there's really only one way he can take that. He presses his tongue deftly into the younger boy's mouth, running his fingers up into the hair at Equius's temples, and tilting his head slightly to the side to get a better angle. Really, he's pretty surprised that he hasn't been shoved away yet, but he's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

HA!]

[Oh. Oh gosh. Tongue in his mouth. Tongue. In his mouth. Really should be pushing away and not just leaning back, kind of sliding down the bed. That would just encourage Gamzee to climb on top of him, and that would be so many times worse.]

[So many]

[It would be absolutely depraved, and lewd, and delicious, and - NO. No, not delicious. Something else bad that starts with a d. Yes, it would be absolutely awful if Gamzee pinned him down and ravished his mouth. Undoubtedly horrid. The worst thing he could ever imagine.]

[ . . . ]

[Why are his hands pulling Gamzee down on top of him?]

[Well, daaaaamn, if this ain't an interesting turn of events! He hadn't expected his Ravenclaw bro to be so enthused, but it surely feels nice to be pulled down like that. Gamzee's bigger than almost all his other classmates, being at least a year, and in some cases almost two years older, and tall besides. So his long frame pins the other boy without even having to try, and the Slytherin shifts his body so he's pressing Equius more firmly into the bed, bracing himself on one hand next to the pureblood's head.

Yeah, definitely nice. He makes a low, satisfied little hum into Equius's mouth as his tongue probes deeper, encouraging the younger boy to open his mouth wider to let him in, find the Ravenclaw's tongue and tangling. Gamzee's kind of an aggressive kisser by sheer dint of enthusiasm and willingness to get totally into it, and having a confused pureblood under him doesn't seem to be changing that in the slightest.]

[Yes, being pinned like this was definitely the worst thing he could imagine. Most assuredly distasteful. And that tongue? Goodness, it was so slimy and wriggly, how could anyone find this a turn on?]

[He pushes Gamzee away, pulling his head back]

This is absolutely disgusting.

[He says, then curls his hands in Gamzee's hair and pulls him back down, accidentally bumping their noses together]

Whatever you say, motherfucker.

[Gamzee agrees breathlessly, then takes the hint and dives back in for another long, sloppy kiss, ignoring the bumped noses entirely, though it does hurt a little. It's kind of hard to figure out the trick of kissing and breathing at the same time, though the Slytherin figures there must be one - he's seen people making out for ridiculously long times at parties. But he experiments with breathing through his nose, which mostly mean he keeps making weird little huffing noises, like a horse or a bull or something, while they tongue wrestle. His body shifts with eager interest, too, one leg pressing between Equius's thighs as he tries to brace it against the mattress.]

[Okay, this is going too far, too fast and Equius... doesn't mind at all. He feels like he should be concerned, but unlike Gamzee, he hasn't bothered with breathing at all, and it's making him feel dizzy. Sure, he could certainly try breathing, the noises Gamzee's making are hardly a turn off, but for the first time in who knows when, he feels pretty alright with the world. The dizziness makes everything feel sort of pleasant and disconnected, and he eagerly returns the kiss, holding tightly to the lanky boy]

[At least, until he can't take it any longer and he has to pull back, gasping for air]

I mean it, Gamzee. Absolutely dreadful. Sickening, really.

[Which is, of course, followed by pulling Gamzee back in again, his mouth pre-emptively seeking out the other boy's tongue to try and suck on it]

[It strikes Gamzee as pretty funny, the way Equius just keeps talking whenever he has a chance to breathe, and if his mouth weren't so busily engaged, he probably would have laughed. Since the Ravenclaw probably wouldn't have taken that well - nor the older boy's mental observation on how motherfuckin' adorable it is, the way he keeps saying how this is all so nasty - it's probably for the best that Gamzee can't talk, and is instead playing one mean game of tonsil hockey with the other boy.

He moves his body again, kind of wanting to get an arm around Equius, but not really being in a good position for it. He winds up just rubbing his hand over the younger boy's chest and shoulders as they kiss, then up into the Ravenclaw's hair again, gripping it lightly, almost like a handle as he tilts his head to one side to fit their mouths together better. He likes that tongue sucking thing, so he tries to return the favor, his teeth scraping over Equius's tongue and bottom lip with a pleasant little frisson that makes him want to bite down a little harder, though he knows he probably shouldn't.

Damn, Gamzee thinks he might never have been kissed quite so enthusiastically and thoroughly as the conservative boy is doing, and the low noises he makes into Equius's mouth are nothing but approving.]