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Roxy fucking Lalonde.
You really are the best.
You really are the best.
Roxy, look. She's purring in my lap!
[Because they're totally writing in their journals while being in the same vicinity.]
[Because they're totally writing in their journals while being in the same vicinity.]
[Quite possibly.]
That's okay come on.
She likes kisses!
That's okay come on.
She likes kisses!
Cats are fantastic! I cannot wait to meet her.
ok so i know we talked about this and everything.
but i have to ask again.
why the hell even a cat.
why not a dog.
but i have to ask again.
why the hell even a cat.
why not a dog.
For one, I can't take a dog to school, can I?
Cats are more useful too. Pest problem? You can bet they'll take care of it.
They're fluffy and take care of themselves too.
Orangina is a sassy independent kitten who needs no man.
That's why I love her.
Cats are more useful too. Pest problem? You can bet they'll take care of it.
They're fluffy and take care of themselves too.
Orangina is a sassy independent kitten who needs no man.
That's why I love her.
if it was a chihuahua you could.
and we could put a sombrero on it and everything.
and have tacos for dinner every night.
thats what we have magic for yknow.
one spell and i can get rid of all the fucking pests.
oh right ok that makes a whole lotta sense.
she needs no man but she lives with three.
i dont like cats dirk.
and we could put a sombrero on it and everything.
and have tacos for dinner every night.
thats what we have magic for yknow.
one spell and i can get rid of all the fucking pests.
oh right ok that makes a whole lotta sense.
she needs no man but she lives with three.
i dont like cats dirk.
That'd be good and all, but no quiero.
Besides you don't even like tacos; you said so yourself.
Obviously your magic isn't working because she just got her chow down in the kitchen, and she wasn't all up on some Purina.
Exactly. She doesn't need them, but the fact we're here is just an added bonus.
Such a bonus that she's purring up a storm. She just loves me so much.
Forget Prepubescent Mom, I'll just be a cat lady now.
Too bad. I'm keeping her.
Besides you don't even like tacos; you said so yourself.
Obviously your magic isn't working because she just got her chow down in the kitchen, and she wasn't all up on some Purina.
Exactly. She doesn't need them, but the fact we're here is just an added bonus.
Such a bonus that she's purring up a storm. She just loves me so much.
Forget Prepubescent Mom, I'll just be a cat lady now.
Too bad. I'm keeping her.
excuse me. when did i say this.
who the hell doesnt like tacos.
are you sure youre thinking of the same bro.
and not like some imposter.
oh shit son a de totally pretended to be me.
and told myso nephew i dont like tacos.
we got a real badass over here.
[...What even was that typo he nearly made there. Must be booze related. Maybe he's had too much to drink. Who the hell knows.]
wait what.
youre shitting me we dont have mice.
ha ha good one a+ you fucking troll.
seriously you are shitting me right.
how the fuck did we get mice.
why cant you just be fucking both.
itd appeal to the pedos and the cat ladies all in one.
double your ratings.
what if i changed my mind and said no.
who the hell doesnt like tacos.
are you sure youre thinking of the same bro.
and not like some imposter.
oh shit son a de totally pretended to be me.
and told my
we got a real badass over here.
[...What even was that typo he nearly made there. Must be booze related. Maybe he's had too much to drink. Who the hell knows.]
wait what.
youre shitting me we dont have mice.
ha ha good one a+ you fucking troll.
seriously you are shitting me right.
how the fuck did we get mice.
why cant you just be fucking both.
itd appeal to the pedos and the cat ladies all in one.
double your ratings.
what if i changed my mind and said no.
I know it might hurt your brain, but try thinking a little.
Maybe it'll come back to you.
But since I'm nice I can offer a reminder: remember when you were all down for sausage like whoa,
Not even a Bavarian in the middle of Oktoberfest could get a hankering for sausage as much as you.
Perhaps we truly aren't talking about the same thing though.
"Son a de" sounds rather redundant, don't you think?
You might as well have just written son de quoi.
[Followed by this statement are a few ink blots from having held his pen down too firmly. There are a few hesitation marks there as well. He's able to decipher that bit that's scratched out, but he's not sure what to think of it. Best not even mention it at all.]
Oh, Uncle Dirk, it's much much worse than mice.
At first I thought, nah, it's just something from the tv.
But then I saw it with my own two eyes.
I've gotta say, I'm so glad I sleep on the top bunk.
Shit, you're right.
Hold on, let me clutter the fuck out of the flat, okay?
Maybe I'll develop some weird disorder and we can add Hoarders and My Strange Addiction to my resume.
Then she'd be out on the streets and so would I.
Maybe it'll come back to you.
But since I'm nice I can offer a reminder: remember when you were all down for sausage like whoa,
Not even a Bavarian in the middle of Oktoberfest could get a hankering for sausage as much as you.
Perhaps we truly aren't talking about the same thing though.
"Son a de" sounds rather redundant, don't you think?
You might as well have just written son de quoi.
[Followed by this statement are a few ink blots from having held his pen down too firmly. There are a few hesitation marks there as well. He's able to decipher that bit that's scratched out, but he's not sure what to think of it. Best not even mention it at all.]
Oh, Uncle Dirk, it's much much worse than mice.
At first I thought, nah, it's just something from the tv.
But then I saw it with my own two eyes.
I've gotta say, I'm so glad I sleep on the top bunk.
Shit, you're right.
Hold on, let me clutter the fuck out of the flat, okay?
Maybe I'll develop some weird disorder and we can add Hoarders and My Strange Addiction to my resume.
Then she'd be out on the streets and so would I.
[So yeah guess who just took like five minutes to flip through the journal trying to find the context of whatever Dirk is talking about. When he finally finds it, he disregards everything Dirk said to write one sentence.]
dirk i was talking about pussy before.
dirk i was talking about pussy before.
also did i mention i was talking about cock.
when i said sausage.
just wondering if you knew or not.
needa work on your euphemisms kid.
when i said sausage.
just wondering if you knew or not.
needa work on your euphemisms kid.
Well this certainly puts everything in a new light.
Munching down on cocks for breakfast.
Guess I wasn't lying when I said everyone from Texas is an actual cannibal.
Munching down on cocks for breakfast.
Guess I wasn't lying when I said everyone from Texas is an actual cannibal.
you.
missed the entire point.
of that whole conversation.
didnt you.
missed the entire point.
of that whole conversation.
didnt you.
No, between the references of cannibalism and latent homosexuality, I think I understand.
you missed the entire point.
of that whole conversation.
of that whole conversation.
Then I suppose I should ask for clarification before this misunderstanding continues any longer.
the fucking point of THIS conversation is i really want actual goddamn tacos for dinner every night.
but i cant.
because you didnt get a fucking chihuahua dirk.
the point of the last conversation was
no.
i dont think you even deserve to know.
it was sofa king obvious.
cheezit cripes.
do i need to spell out the meanings of those too btw.
or have you got that.
but i cant.
because you didnt get a fucking chihuahua dirk.
the point of the last conversation was
no.
i dont think you even deserve to know.
it was sofa king obvious.
cheezit cripes.
do i need to spell out the meanings of those too btw.
or have you got that.
Oh man, I am like, sooooooo sorry.
Except not really, because tacos are gross.
But guess what! This is fixable.
Quick, go to Chihuahua right now and you'll be able to find the most lo quiero Chihuahua ever.
Bring it home, make it yours.
You and sombrero-dog can eat all the tacos you want while I indulge in nutella crêpes and Orangina wears the most chic beret.
[He can't share your love for tacos, Bro. He's never had them.]
Whatever you say, brofus.
I really didn't want to know anyway.
I don't care.
You wanna see how many cares I have?
Absolutely none; zero cares under the Christmas tree because Santa didn't come this year.
Gee, I dunno.
Those might've just flown right over my head too.
Except not really, because tacos are gross.
But guess what! This is fixable.
Quick, go to Chihuahua right now and you'll be able to find the most lo quiero Chihuahua ever.
Bring it home, make it yours.
You and sombrero-dog can eat all the tacos you want while I indulge in nutella crêpes and Orangina wears the most chic beret.
[He can't share your love for tacos, Bro. He's never had them.]
Whatever you say, brofus.
I really didn't want to know anyway.
I don't care.
You wanna see how many cares I have?
Absolutely none; zero cares under the Christmas tree because Santa didn't come this year.
Gee, I dunno.
Those might've just flown right over my head too.
Edited 2012-07-01 06:47 (UTC)
ok first of all youre grounded forever.
you did not just say tacos are gross.
that is not something you just did.
that is not something i am going to tolerate under this roof.
i am the man of the house and dont you be fucking insulting tacos up in here dirk strider.
i will end you.
or at least i will end your social life.
tacos are just like.
i cant even describe tacos to you right now.
but you know what dirk theyre magical.
more magical than a motherfucking magic wand.
the only thing more magical than tacos would be like.
a magic wand.
but with a taco core.
holy shit lemme go patent that idea or something.
anyway the point is youre grounded.
me no lo quiero you for saying that.
g r o u n d e d.
you totally wanted to know.
in fact i bet its eating at you.
what could bro have possibly meant with all those dicks and vags.
well guess what lil dude.
just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
the world will never know.
you did not just say tacos are gross.
that is not something you just did.
that is not something i am going to tolerate under this roof.
i am the man of the house and dont you be fucking insulting tacos up in here dirk strider.
i will end you.
or at least i will end your social life.
tacos are just like.
i cant even describe tacos to you right now.
but you know what dirk theyre magical.
more magical than a motherfucking magic wand.
the only thing more magical than tacos would be like.
a magic wand.
but with a taco core.
holy shit lemme go patent that idea or something.
anyway the point is youre grounded.
me no lo quiero you for saying that.
g r o u n d e d.
you totally wanted to know.
in fact i bet its eating at you.
what could bro have possibly meant with all those dicks and vags.
well guess what lil dude.
just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
the world will never know.
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