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[givesyouaboner]

Roxy gave me the most orange kitten ever. She's really cute and fluffy.
I named her Orangina.
Last night she slept on my pillow by Lil' Cal. When school starts, she's coming with me too.

Comments

[bev_rage]

whos ur bff5ever?
cmon say it

[givesyouaboner]

Roxy fucking Lalonde.
You really are the best.

[bev_rage]

i kno
i no know

[givesyouaboner]

Roxy, look. She's purring in my lap!

_{[Because they're totally writing in their journals while being in the same vicinity.]}

[bev_rage]

[Can they get any dorkier?]

omg she's so pricious precious
i wanna smoosh her faaaace

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Quite possibly.]}

That's okay come on.
She likes kisses!

[bev_rage]

lmfao k

[So many smooches to this cat's fuzzy little head.]

[thesmallesttrickster]

Cats are fantastic! I cannot wait to meet her.

[givesyouaboner]

You'll love her, Loki! She's so sassy.

[plushaeusrumpified]

ok so i know we talked about this and everything.
but i have to ask again.
why the hell even a cat.
why not a dog.

[givesyouaboner]

For one, I can't take a dog to school, can I?
Cats are more useful too. Pest problem? You can bet they'll take care of it.
They're fluffy and take care of themselves too.
Orangina is a sassy independent kitten who needs no man.
That's why I love her.

[plushaeusrumpified]

if it was a chihuahua you could.
and we could put a sombrero on it and everything.
and have tacos for dinner every night.

thats what we have magic for yknow.
one spell and i can get rid of all the fucking pests.

oh right ok that makes a whole lotta sense.
she needs no man but she lives with three.





i dont like cats dirk.

[givesyouaboner]

That'd be good and all, but no quiero.
Besides you don't even like tacos; you said so yourself.

Obviously your magic isn't working because she just got her chow down in the kitchen, and she wasn't all up on some Purina.

Exactly. She doesn't need them, but the fact we're here is just an added bonus.
Such a bonus that she's purring up a storm. She just loves me so much.
Forget Prepubescent Mom, I'll just be a cat lady now.





Too bad. I'm keeping her.

[plushaeusrumpified]

excuse me. when did i say this.
who the hell doesnt like tacos.
are you sure youre thinking of the same bro.
and not like some imposter.
oh shit son a de totally pretended to be me.
and told my so nephew i dont like tacos.
we got a real badass over here.

[...What even was that typo he nearly made there. Must be booze related. Maybe he's had too much to drink. Who the hell knows.]

wait what.
youre shitting me we dont have mice.
ha ha good one a+ you fucking troll.
seriously you are shitting me right.
how the fuck did we get mice.

why cant you just be fucking both.
itd appeal to the pedos and the cat ladies all in one.
double your ratings.




what if i changed my mind and said no.

[givesyouaboner]

I know it might hurt your brain, but try thinking a little.
Maybe it'll come back to you.
But since I'm nice I can offer a reminder: remember when you were all down for sausage like whoa,
Not even a Bavarian in the middle of Oktoberfest could get a hankering for sausage as much as you.
Perhaps we truly aren't talking about the same thing though.
"Son a de" sounds rather redundant, don't you think?
You might as well have just written son de quoi.

_{[Followed by this statement are a few ink blots from having held his pen down too firmly. There are a few hesitation marks there as well. He's able to decipher that bit that's scratched out, but he's not sure what to think of it. Best not even mention it at all.]}

Oh, Uncle Dirk, it's much much worse than mice.
At first I thought, nah, it's just something from the tv.
But then I saw it with my own two eyes.
I've gotta say, I'm so glad I sleep on the top bunk.

Shit, you're right.
Hold on, let me clutter the fuck out of the flat, okay?
Maybe I'll develop some weird disorder and we can add Hoarders and My Strange Addiction to my resume.






Then she'd be out on the streets and so would I.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[So yeah guess who just took like five minutes to flip through the journal trying to find the context of whatever Dirk is talking about. When he finally finds it, he disregards everything Dirk said to write one sentence.]

dirk i was talking about pussy before.

[givesyouaboner]

Oh.
My argument is still valid.

[spangledplan]

You name her after the soda, kid?

And that's a cute drawing.

[IT REMINDS HIM OF WHEN HE WAS BITTY(er).]

[givesyouaboner]

Yes. Orangina is my favourite orange soda and Orangina is my favourite cat, and she's orange.
It'a only fitting.




It's not
I didn't really
Thank you.

[spangledplan]

It seems like Orangina is your only cat.


You're welcome. Are you starting school this year?

[givesyouaboner]

She's my first pet ever, except for the fishes I used to have.
Their names were lame because I was a little kid.

Yes. I keep being told that I'm totally a Gryffindor and I hope that's true.
They have the coolest house and colours.

[spangledplan]

I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with a pet having a lame name. My cat is named Christian. Well, he's technically my grandmother's, but she wanted me to bring him.

I think Gryffindor is a pretty great house. You have family in it?

what is irony u3u

[givesyouaboner]

One fish was called Pretty.
The other was Chair.
I can't even remember why its name was even a thing.
It didn't look like a chair.

My bro is!
Well, he's technically my cousin but that part doesn't really matter.
If I want to call him my bro it's totally cool, right.
I think Uncle Dirk was in it too, back in the Ice Age.

something fabled and hard to reach?

[spangledplan]

Was the other fish even pretty? A lot of kids tend to name their pets after things they see. Or, well, I think they do. I don't have much experience of my own with pets.

What year is your bro? And his name? I might know him.

Dirk's almost got the appropriated usage down and doesn't know it

[givesyouaboner]

They were both really pretty. I had a fish tank in my room and I kept the light on at night because it looked like they were in the ocean.

Dave, fourth year. You might know him? He's the one who just threw a rad party at our flat while Uncle Dirk was gone.