002 ♒

[allisnotlost]

is this month ovver wwith yet
is it october first yet it still cannot be september
seriously

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

It's supposed to get easier over time, though. At least, this is what I've been told.
That rationally makes a lot of sense too.
Sometimes it's just a matter of waiting for later.

[wwhatevver]

believve me though
it gets better
but sometimes youre goin on in your routine and somethin clicks in your mind and youre reminded of that time

[givesyouaboner]

But when it does that, it won't be as bad, will it? At least most of the time?
Sometimes it's just everything.

[wwhatevver]

at times it isnt as bad
but wwhen it is bad

its bad

but evven wwhen it is that bad theres usually somethin or someone there to help kick you back into the right direction

[givesyouaboner]

I think I have people who could do that for me. I think the hardest thing, as far as that's concerned, is actually saying something to them, to let them know.
In a way it's just easier to suffer.

filtered

[wwhatevver]

[why you filter this now i dont understand.]

to be fair it really is
uh
actually seekin out someone i mean
because it feels like if you tell someone it makes you the wweakest person alivve and it sucks but
bottlin it up makes it wworse
evven if you trust them enough theres still that second doubt that maybe they dont wwant to hear it or somethin like that

i mean i wwrite stuff dowwn more than i talk sometimes

wwoww this convversation is really fuckin depressin

filtered

[givesyouaboner]

Yeah.
I don't know.
Like, there's one person who really wants me to talk to him if I need to. And I like talking to him and I trust him. It's really not an issue of him, really. It's more just... me.
How long until I stop being bothered by the same exact thing? I think he expects me to be getting better, but I don't think I have at all.
So I just don't wanna say anything because he'll just feel upset that nothing's changed.

I will have to try that.
Instead of, you know. Dumping that on you.

Sorry.

filtered

[wwhatevver]

and i knoww for a fact theres one person in particular wwhod wwant me to talk to him if i needed to
shit ivve
wwell ivve been like this for as long as i can remember and i still dont do it as much as i should

and that
that is also a reason
the wwhole wworried that nothin has changed and youd make the other party upset and shit

believve me theres nothin
ill let it slide this once since im just so forgivvin
just dont get them mixed up
itd be awwkwward tryin to explain wwhy youre suddenly wwritin about privvate stuff

i wwas just makin an observvation

filtered

[givesyouaboner]

I think I understand.
Maybe, one day, you should tell that person something. Just so they know? He might take it personally if you don't talk to him. I think that sometimes happens with me.
Although, some things are just hard to talk about.

I don't know.
But yeah, that sound s like it might be a bit awkward.