five ♓ text;

[quasistellar]

I apologize for the short notice, but I've been called away to my former laboratory to assist with some measurements. As such, all students will have a free period today and Thursday. I strongly suggest that you all use it to study, because there will be a quiz next week.

If any of you haven't turned in the last assignment, I'll grant an extension until Friday at 3 PM.

[filtered private to Feferi Peixes]

Be a good girl while I'm gone. I've asked Professor Vantas-Leijon to keep an eye on you. If you need anything, please go see her. You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine.

[filtered to staff and against Snow]

I'm going to Oxford to speak to some former colleagues who have dealt with citizenship issues. I'll not have any of our students sent off under Snow's watch.

[Notice that she isn't saying 'any of the staff'. She figures that's dealt with and there's no need to ask.]

Comments

#tw: incoming feelings tl;dr

[quasistellar]

I'm fine! I'm - really. I'm fine.

[inkblots, then a filter:]

No. No, I'm not fine. I couldn't be further from fine.

Sometimes, they do end with one person. Like when that person is actually your girls' father, you've admitted feelings that - now I don't know if they were mutual or if that was just a lie to make me feel better or what it was, but that's what I thought. It ends when you think that maybe, just maybe, you can fix the past. Actually try for once in your life to have a real family.

I tried. I tried and then had that thrown back in my face because Sybille was irresponsible enough not to take care of her own damn citizenship status, Snow's a bastard who took advantage of that, and Murdoc played me for a fool.

It's over. This can't be fixed.

Re: #tw: incoming feelings tl;dr

[glaringprotego]

I don't think he played you for a fool
Honestly
I
I assumed he would
A real family is what you make of it! Would you tell me my family isn't real? He
I meant

I don't think he lied. I think he has feelings for you. I think he saw this as an impossible choice. Which Snow made for him.

You shouldn't take your feelings about Murdoc out on Sybille. He made the decision. You should talk to him. Ask if what he meant was real.

Maybe you can still have your family, it just won't be traditional.

[quasistellar]

I wouldn't tell you that your family isn't real. Of course not! That was a bad word choice. I'm not exactly the paragon of excellent wording right now.

But I think - I don't know what I think, other than that I had it in my head, like an idiot, that things would be simple. That it happens like in books, where people meet again after years and it all works out, easy as pie.

I just know I took the chance to actually be honest about what I was feeling and it got thrown back in my face. Or it feels like it has been, now.

It took so much nerve to actually say all of that. It's not worth putting everything on the line again. It's not just me I have to think about. I can't put the girls through this again.

[glaringprotego]

Constance...
I understand why you f33l this way. That it was thrown back in your face. You have the right to be upset because you feel your feelings were ignored. That they didn't matter to him.

They probably do. Very much. And perhaps I understand you both because were I asked to chose between the people I love, it would be such an impossible thing. Could I chose Sal, who I had a child with and married over Art? I don't know. I am lucky in that I did not have to. But he felt he had to.

He probably still loves you, but circumstances forced him to make a difficult choice. Ind33d, I don't think there was ever a choice that wouldn't hurt someone, be it her, you, or your children.