five ♓ text;

[quasistellar]

I apologize for the short notice, but I've been called away to my former laboratory to assist with some measurements. As such, all students will have a free period today and Thursday. I strongly suggest that you all use it to study, because there will be a quiz next week.

If any of you haven't turned in the last assignment, I'll grant an extension until Friday at 3 PM.

[filtered private to Feferi Peixes]

Be a good girl while I'm gone. I've asked Professor Vantas-Leijon to keep an eye on you. If you need anything, please go see her. You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine.

[filtered to staff and against Snow]

I'm going to Oxford to speak to some former colleagues who have dealt with citizenship issues. I'll not have any of our students sent off under Snow's watch.

[Notice that she isn't saying 'any of the staff'. She figures that's dealt with and there's no need to ask.]

Comments

[wavesofjade]

Caught up in your own feelings, perhaps, but that does not make you an idiot.

[She pauses a moment, then takes Constance's hand in both of hers]

You can linger on this, darling, or you can move on from it.. but that will be your decision to make and I know that neither is as easy as it sounds. Whatever you decide, I will be here for you.

[quasistellar]

It never seemed fair to move on, and I can't ever completely cut ties. That's not fair to the girls.

...story of my life, I suppose. Being caught between what I want and the restrictions of the world, that is. I had the chance to go up there, Dolores, to see those stars I love so much. And I gave it up for Feferi and Meenah. I don't regret it, but I've always wondered 'what if it had been a few months later?' which is selfish of me.

So I buried myself in work till I realized I hardly recognized the girls I gave up the stars for, and now I'm here. And so is he, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could have a family. Finally do right by the girls.

Now, this.

[wavesofjade]

Constance.. You do have a family. Feferi and Meenah. They are your stars. Your children.

[There's an unusual passion in her voice when she speaks, then her voice lowers, softens, and her gaze drops]

You know that I don't often speak of myself, and I have never mentioned this to anyone here.. I had a son. Simon. His.. father left me when he was only two and I had to raise him alone. I was working so hard, I.. He was hit by a car. He died. He was only six, and he was killed because I wasn't there for him. I realised that far too late.

Treasure your time with your children, Constance. With your family. They still need you.

[quasistellar]

I'm so sorry...I - I. I had the realization, at least, with Feferi and Meenah. They're why I came back here. I shut myself off from the world and only came back because of them. Of course I'm not going to shut them out again.

I suppose I simply want too much. For myself, for them.

[wavesofjade]

[She smiles, and gives Constance's hand a gentle squeeze]

And that isn't wrong.