[Private to Eridan Ampora]

[wwistful]

stop igno
Please talk t

Do you have a moment?

Please?

Comments

[wwhatevver]

not like wwe havvent been up to enough fishy shit after his entry
yes thank you for tellin me that its not like my life hasnt changed enough ovver the last fourteen years but i guess thats a neww concept that ivve nevver fuckin heard of so again thanks for fuckin informin me


wwhy do i havve to tell you wwhy it matters

[wwistful]

So obviously we need not add to such behaviour lest we draw more attention to ourselves.
If you're so terribly accustomed to change one would imagine you'd handle it better. Don't swear at me.

Because I don't know what goes on in your head and I never will. Why does it matter?

[wwhatevver]

i feel like wwe wwere probably one of the least concernin ones since i at LEAST apologized to him and backed awway
despite the fact of me bein so used to change im not used to somethin like THIS


youre not the only one wwho feels like that you knoww
it just matters



you wwanna knoww somethin

[wwistful]

You under estimate his suspicion.

I want to know why it matters, yes.

[wwhatevver]

i guess i do then

because you knoww on that night that you made that announcement and i read it that i wwasnt evven thinkin of myself oh no i savved thinkin of myself after
i wwas thinkin of mom at first

[wwistful]

Are you implying that you expect me to stay alone forever for her sake?

[wwhatevver]

i
no i

just

[ink blots... he's just going to trail off a bit after that.]

[wwistful]

I'm pretty sure she'd understand the gravity of the situation, were she still here.
That being said, if she was here, I would probably not be marrying someone for the sake of protecting them.

[wwhatevver]

maybe id be happier if she wwere here

yeah and maybe she wwere still here and you didnt mess your back up youd still be awway wworkin as an auror

[strikes are slightly readable.]

[wwistful]

[Well. Ow. That's really the last thing he needed to see.]

Well maybe I could've died instead of her. I'm sure that'd make you real fucking happy wouldn't it?!

Actually, that makes perfect sense, seeing as how I seem to cause all of the horrible struggles in your life!

[wwhatevver]

[Ggggg...h....]

oh gee and then id be just like you wwouldnt i all that i need to do is to mutilate my face in some wway and there wwe go

funny you should say that considerin howw little youvve actually been in my life up until recently am i right and to think that i actually fuckin defended you so strongly against him

[Yeah he's not really trying to hide some of these things.]

[wwistful]

You can fuck your face up all you want, you'll never be like me at this rate.

You think I was doing it because it was some hoity toity cake walk? It was a fucking job, Eridan. If you liked living with a roof over your head and having food on the table then maybe you should shut your damn mouth and think about how much I had to sacrifice to give you that.

But no. You don't even give a fuck if I'm trying to fix things. You just want something to whine over.

[wwhatevver]

wwho said i evver wwanted to be like you in the first place
if someone evver fuckin told you that theyre a god damned liar

did you evver think thats not the only damn job in the world you could havve done to support me

it doesnt affect me so i dont givve a fuck about it
id nevver accept her as part of the family anywways

[wwistful]

You did, when you were too little to act like an entitled brat. My mistake, it was far too optimistic of me to think you'd still have any respect for me at all.

You think you actually get a say in what I do? I trained hard to be an auror, it was all I fucking knew. I didn't even know I would be any sort of professor until I tried it. But what does that matter because I'm horrible at it anyway!

You won't accept anything that isn't served to you on a silver platter, Eridan. Not everything is about you.

[wwhatevver]

thats before i had a god damned reality check

oh yeah no one has any sayin in wwhat wwe do right
but uh im not evven goin to say anythin about that part because i havve nothin more to add to it that you havvent put so gracefully

says the one wwhos been holdin out the platter for me this entire time
its not like im not tryin to do anythin for myself
just my great track record right nowws been a clean zero right noww
it all either gets blowwn the fuck up in my face in some wway or i get shot dowwn or somethin happens or i do somethin stupid like get drunk off my ass and confess my feelins for a girl that ivve knowwn forevver and i wwasnt evven SUPPOSE to do that AT ALL AND I KNEWW IT WWAS WWRONG BUT I STILL DID IT BECAUSE I COULDNT CONTROL MYSELF
BUT WWAIT
this isnt about me
nothin is evver about me wwhat am i sayin

[Pause.]

i bet your life wwould be a lot fuckin better if i wwasnt in it

[wwistful]

No,actually. It was before you began to assume that everything I do is of incredible inconvenience or some poorly planned attempt at revenge toward you.

Thank you for confirming that. I would hate to imagine that I gave up my entire life to be near you only to discover I'm a useless waste of space.

Stop pretending as if I'm stifling your independence and then turning around and implying that I'm never there for you! I can't win, can I? No matter how hard I try I'm always going to end up being your scape goat. I'm sick of it. I don't even know how I'm meant to speak to you now that I know I'm nothing but a burden and a fool to you.

You want me to help you? You want me to give you advice? Well here, my advice is to help yourself because nothing I say is ever going to be of any assistance to you.


What does it matter, Eridan? The present is what it is and no amount of self loathing reflection is ever going to chance the current circumstances.

[wwhatevver]

oh right thats exactly it thank you for placin the right wwords there for me

wwas i directly blamin you for that
no i wwasnt
that wwas my OWWN damn fault that i did anythin but its not like it doesnt just wweigh the hell ovver my head after i realize wwhat ivve done

i am
i dont need your help anymore
you nevver wwere much help to me in the first place

youre right
so heres a change for you to handle if you fuckin can
im not your son anymore
and honestly i dont care if you get married to her or not
i dont wwant to be a part of your family

[wwistful]

Oh that's rich. Good luck supporting yourself then, Eridan. I hope you have somewhere to stay over the holidays, I don't take house guests.

[wwhatevver]

you forget howw many people im friends wwith
ivve got plenty of places to stay

[wwistful]

Yes, I've often heard of families willing to adopt their children's friends. I wonder how long it will take for you to disown them and disrespect them as you have with me.

[wwhatevver]

exactly
lets not forget my sisters im sure professor peixes wwould lovve to havve me there wwith them
oh haha thats real fuckin hilarious professor donoghue

[wwistful]

As you wish.
Good night, Eridan.

[wwhatevver]

hm
goodnight professor