[Filtered to Karkat Vantas]

[moveslikejaeger]

hey i know we arent like totally close bros or anything but gamzee is worried about you
and really a brothers brother is a brother of mine so
do you mind if we talk?

Comments

[selfhatred]

HUH? HE'S WORRIED?
I GUESS IT'S OKAY BUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY HE'D BE WORRIED WHEN I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING IS FINE.

[moveslikejaeger]

well you arent being your usual wordy self i guess and also i was kind of wondering if you had romantical feelings for him

[Maxim Jaeger, subtle as a brick]

[1/?]

[selfhatred]

[inkblots]

[2/?]

[selfhatred]

[WHAT THE FLIPPING FUCK]

[3/4]

[selfhatred]

[okay, okay. cool it, Vantas]

[selfhatred]

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR GAMZEE WHATSOEVER.

[moveslikejaeger]

oh okay i just thought since when van and i announced our boyfriendness rapunzel reacted the same way gamzee described you reacting that maybe thats what happened here too
but i didnt want to assume so i figured id ask first

[selfhatred]

WHAT WOULD IT MATTER IF I DID ANYWAY?
IT'D BE TOO LATE. I COULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
I'D BE BETTER OFF PRETENDING NOTHING'S DIFFERENT.
THERE'D BE NO USE UPSETTING GAMZEE'S HAPPINESS FOR MY OWN SELFISH REASONS.

[moveslikejaeger]

oh so you do i knew it
this is complicated and not in the rapunzel way too
i will have to think about this

[moveslikejaeger]

actually would you mind describing your feelings
like do you want in gamzees pants kind of romantic or is it like kisses and hugs level of romantic?

[selfhatred]

[His handwriting is starting to get a bit shakier.]

I JUST TOLD YOU I HAD NO FEELINGS THAT WAY.
I WAS SPEAKING HYPOTHETICALLY!
THERE IS N

[A moment later there's a tiny splotch on the page.]

[moveslikejaeger]

yes but then you said there would be no use upsetting gamzee for selfish reasons and i know exactly what that means
because i have more or less said the same thing to myself about rapunzel
see i have personal experience with messes like these i am an expert!

but really tho there are different levels of romantical feelings and its important to recognize exactly which one you are at

[selfhatred]

[There's a few minutes before a reply.]

I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER REALLY FIGURED IT OUT.
FOR A GUY THAT LIKES TO PRATTLE ON ABOUT ROMANCE I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.
I GUESS I'M JUST ANNOYED THAT I LET SOMETHING DEVELOP SO MUCH IN THE FIRST PLACE AND
IT'S LIKE I NEVER HAD A CHANCE
AGAIN.
THAT'S WHY I WAS BETTER OFF NOT SAYING ANYTHING AND JUST LETTING THINGS GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE.

[moveslikejaeger]

what do you mean you let it develope?
like let gamzee and shinra develope or your feelings devolepe?

[selfhatred]

MINE.
WHATEVER THE HECK THEY ARE.
I DON'T KNOW.

[moveslikejaeger]

sometimes i am amazed how little people understand their emotions i dont even think about mine and i still understand them better than everyone else
theres nothing wrong with loving him though you should know
like i said there are different levels of love
you dont love your parents the way you love gamzee after all right? but its still love
you just have to figure out what kind of love you feel
because you can love him very deeply without wanting to have sex with him
thats how i feel about rapunzel although i think your the rapunzel of this situation so its a little bit different
but as an example i want to hug and kiss her and go on dates and be very close to her but im not interested in touching her boobs or getting into her knickers see?
but like with van i want all that plus into his pants to
so different levels of love but all still love

[selfhatred]

I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
IT'S JUST KIND OF FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I WAS STRUGGLING WITH FIGURING OUT WHAT I FELT FOR A LONG TIME.

[moveslikejaeger]

why?
i mean is it really that complicated?
either the idea of gamzee naked with his giant schlong in his hand makes you excited or it doesnt

[selfhatred]

[spluttering and inkblots]

OH MY GOD, NOT WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.

[moveslikejaeger]

okay fine include roses and candlelight if you want
either way you are either fantasizing about him doing sexy sexy things with you or you are fantasizing about doing platonic things
its not complicated

[selfhatred]

EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT, I HAVE TO GET THAT MENTAL IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD.
WHY ISN'T THERE A SPELL FOR BRAIN BLEACH?

[moveslikejaeger]

well if that is how you feel then i think we can safely say that you are not a threat to shinra and shinra is not a threat to you
because you know what?

[moveslikejaeger]

shinra totally digs that mental image

[selfhatred]

YOU'RE NOT HELPING RIGHT NOW, JAEGER.

[moveslikejaeger]

sure i am!
your not feeling confused about your emotions at all right now are you?

[selfhatred]

NO.
JUST MILDLY DISTURBED.

[selfhatred]

BUT...I GUESS PUTTING IT THAT WAY PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR ME.
SO
THANKS.

[moveslikejaeger]

say what you will about my methods they are effective
so now that we have established that you are not into sexy times with gamzee we can go down to the next level
does the idea of kissing him appeal to you at all?
personally i like kissing him but not so much on the mouth mostly i just do a whole bunch of little kisses all over his face
like on his cheeks and on his forehead and on his cute little clown nose
but mouth kissing rapunzel was nice even if it was only once

[selfhatred]

WELL...YEAH I THINK SO.
I MEAN I LIKED IT WHEN HE
UM
I GUESS I DO.

[moveslikejaeger]

and now it becomes complicated again
unfortunately i have not yet worked out a quick and easy solution however i have discovered that going in metaphorical guns ablazing is not the way to do it
so for now you will just have to talk to shinra about it
explain that you do not want to steal his boyfriend but that you have deep platonic love for gamzee that involves occassional snogging
he might understand because he tends to be very reasonable

[selfhatred]

IF HE EVEN WANTS TO TALK TO ME.
THINGS ARE KIND OF
AWKWARD RIGHT NOW.
I KIND OF BLEW UP AT HIM AFTER FIGHTING WITH GAMZEE OVER THE SUMMER WHEN THAT WHOLE...THING WENT DOWN.
I'M NOT SURE IF HE HATES ME OR WHAT.

[moveslikejaeger]

9_9 that was months ago
i was just as mad at you for being dumb too but ive already forgiven you
just talk to him

[selfhatred]

YEAH BUT
UGH
IF I SAY IT'S NOT SIMPLE YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO SAY IT IS.

[moveslikejaeger]

well it is
you just walk up to him and say "hi shinra"
you dont even have to talk about gamzee right away
just open up the line of communication once more
or at least try
if he snubs you then tell me and i can talk to him

[moveslikejaeger]

or you can sit alone in your room feeling sorry for yourself for the rest of eternity i dont really care which its not my problem

[selfhatred]

I GUESS THAT'S TRUE ENOUGH.
I THINK I'VE DONE ENOUGH OF THE LATTER IN MY LIFETIME.

[moveslikejaeger]

so use this as a time to start changing that
if you want i will even walk over to him with you as moral support
just keep in mind
i will hold your hand
i will drag you to him
but i will not talk to him for you

[selfhatred]

I DON'T NEED TO HAVE MY HAND HELD.
I'LL...I'LL TALK TO HIM.
IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME REALLY.

[moveslikejaeger]

i give you until the end of the month
if you havent talked to him by then i will lock the two of you in a classroom and not let you out until there are words