AVAST!!

[wwistful]

To whom it may concern,
We've taken liberties with the spoils of your castle but it is not nearly enough to quench our desires for vast riches.
As such, we have taken one of your fine wenches and are holding her hostage.
If somebody does not pay us a handsome fee we shall be setting sail with her on the morrow

Bring all your valuables to our ship or you will never see her again. (Your bodies are an acceptable form of payment. As is booze.)



[[ooc: Murdoc and Dirk are PIRATES for the wish event and Dolores humored them a little too much. Murdoc has wished himself a ship into the lake. It is full of booze.]]

Comments

[notthebee2]

you 2ound liike you need a triip two the iinfiirmary.

[wwistful]

You sound like you need a smack.

[notthebee2]

oh really?
well then iif youre 2uch brave and iintrepiid piirate2 you 2hould kiidnap me 2o ii learn my place.
ii am 2o 2cared.

[wwistful]

Are you a lass or a lad?

[notthebee2]

ii am but a helple22 prince22 from a dii2tant kiingdom, carele22ly traveliing through foreiign land2, unaware of the danger2 that 2urround my every move.

[grandhighwizard]

i'd like to know who this wench is
BEFORE I RISK MY VALUABLES.

[wwistful]

The doe eyed one with the long legs.

[grandhighwizard]

[There are a few teachers who could be described at doe-eyed, and a few with long legs, but only one Rhys can think of with both.]

DOLORES.
and your ship is on the lake, is it?

[wwistful]

Where better to place a ship than a large body of water? Of course.

Will you be paying us a visit?

[grandhighwizard]

WHY NOT?
i have a little time on my hands, my lad.

[bonafide_divinity]

[This is a pop quiz, isn't it? Very clever Professor Donoghue.]

Professor Donoghue,

While I understand your insatiable thirst for riches -and believe me, I do- [inkblot] if you'll take a moment to think about this logically, you'll probably realize that if you've already plundered the entire castle; nobody in it will have the means to provide you with a handsome fee.

So really, [inkblot] you would be much better off seeking riches elsewhere.

And releasing your hostage because [inkblots] she probably won't be much use on the journey.

[wwistful]

There are riches in this world that aren't plated with gold, lad. I'm giving the castle a perfectly open opportunity to be creative with their blessings.

I can think of at least three uses, but I shall hardly be writing them down for you.

[bonafide_divinity]

Three uses? You're a resourceful man, Professor Donoghue. However, with all due respect,[pause] think you should probably know that if your hostage isn't used to a life at sea, they probably won't be able to serve your purposes as well as you would like. And ultimately [inkblot] they'll just end up being dead weight unless [pause]

I have a proposition for you, Professor Donoghue. Release your hostage and I will happily escort you to the kitchens where you will be able to help yourself to anything you would like. That way you won't be needing your hostage [inkblot]</small] in case of emergency.

[wwistful]

I think you're severely misunderestimating me, lad.

Tempting. But no. I have plenty of supplies and I'm sure nothing in the kitchen will prove quite as useful as a healer.

[bonafide_divinity]

Well,

[Damnit, he's at a loss here. Donoghue has a good point. A healer would be useful at sea. How is he going to negotiate around that? He doesn't know anything about hostage negotiations. Let alone hostage negotiations with... pirates? Are they meant to be pirates? They sound like pirates. If only he had some idea of what to do in this situation and oh but he does.

For he is Lord Tulio Garza, one of the finest diplomats Europe has ever seen and an unparalleled master of negotiation, for he is as cunning and loquacious as he is petty. And he is very, very petty.]

Tell me, where is your ship located, Donoghue? I shall be there post haste so that we might discuss this matter in person and I shall come unarmed. I humbly request that you bid me the same courtesy.

[greenteengenius]

What is a wench?

[wwistful]

A female, obviously.

[greenteengenius]

I was assuming there was more to it than just gender. What are the subtleties of the word?

[wwistful]

I would've thought it'd be obvious.

[Text]

[just1c3w1tch]

YOUR HANDWRITING IS QUITE PRETTY AND TASTES LIKE BLACKBERRIES.

ALSO YOU ARE AWARE THAT THE LAKE IS LANDLOCKED (DUE TO VIRTUE OF ITS BEING A LAKE AND ALL), CORRECT? YOURE HARDLY IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS. THERE IS EVEN LESS CHANCE OF ESCAPE HERE.

[Text]

[wwistful]

THANK YOU?

That's what magic is for, lass.

She's writing this while standing at the lake shore

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Sweetheart, don't make me take your ship apart. Why don't you come down with Dolores and we can have a nice little talk, hm?

Re: She's writing this while standing at the lake shore

[wwistful]

Don't break my ship or I'll break you.
I refuse your invitation, so tata. Unless you'd like to join me up here.

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Darling, take a look at the shore and you tell me if you really want me to join you up there.

[Has her arms crossed while waiting.]

[wwistful]

[He's not even going to respond, he's going to slink out of the cabin and peer over the side of his boat at her.]

Wot.