006 Those Things Send Us Down A Road

[speterman]

[Someone sure was missing from classes and didn't eat all day. His handwriting is different than usual, awkwardly paced, as if pausing when finishing some of the words trying to decide what to say.]

Can I get the homework and an idea of what we did in class today?

[Ink blots and a couple of smudges.]

It's odd how often humans consider themselves the superior species and assume all organisms below them are shallow and un-feeling.

There have been multiple examples - how animals can feel depression or even happiness just as us.

[Sure isn't as light-hearted as usual.]

Comments

[sugaredpotions]

...you sound like you need company. And possibly tea.

[Someone's sneaking down to the kitchens and getting tea, some sandwiches, and some cookies before coming back to the Ravenclaw common room with them.]

[speterman]

I'm not good company right now, but if you want.

[He hasn't left his bed all day, Bonni, he looks horrid, and the on and off crying has made his face all pale and red and puffy and ugly and his hair's a mess, geez gosh you don't want to see him.]

[sugaredpotions]

Mum always said that it's when we're at our worst that we need company the most. So get down to the common room, that far corner where it's hard to see stuff. I've got tea and sandwiches and stuff.

[speterman]

Alright, but I warned you.

[He takes some time to actually make himself look presentable and heads out there, quiet and meek demeanor, keeping his eyes to the ground. He moves quickly, despite all of that, immediately finding Bonnibel and finally offering her a weak smile when he stops by her.]

[sugaredpotions]

[She motions him into a chair, pouring him a cup of tea and pressing it into his hands.]

You didn't need to worry. We all get upset. The important thing is knowing that you've got people who have your back, right?

[speterman]

[He stares at her for a moment, taking the cup which was all but forced upon him before looking down at it. He takes a moment, seeming to get lost in thought before looking up at her. He nods slightly.]

Thank you. Sorry I didn't join you for breakfast or lunch...

[sugaredpotions]

Don't worry about that. What happened, Peter? I've been worried.

[She's not asking if he's okay. That's a dumb question.]

[speterman]

[He sighs, looking back down at the cup.]

I didn't know my parents that well, when I was little they left me a lot, my aunt and uncle took me in, like I was their own.

When I was ten, I was at a shop, getting sweets for me and my uncle, the owner of the shop wasn't fond of my uncle Ben and tried to have a row with me... I was stupid and immature, and mad, so of course when I saw the guy down an aisle with a gun and a mask, I didn't warn the shop owner. I didn't think anyone would get hurt, I just thought he deserved to get robbed for being so unpleasant. My uncle saw what was happening and tried to save me.

[He looks up at her and bites his lip.]

I'm the reason aunt May cries herself to sleep the month of October, and god knows how many other days and nights. It's my fault that robber shot him. If I had warned the shop owner. If I had tried to get out of there.

[He sucks in a sharp breath and looks back down.]

[sugaredpotions]

[She's just going to sit on the arm of his chair and put her arm around his shoulders.]

Listen. You were ten years old. The man in the shop was wrong to pick a row with you, yes, but that doesn't make the rest of what happened your fault. You didn't think anyone would get hurt, you said that yourself. And you couldn't have stopped a man with a gun. You would have only gotten hurt yourself.

Your aunt is sad over losing your uncle, but that never made it your fault. It would only be worse if she'd lost the both of you.

I think...I think the ones we love are always looking out for us in some way. I don't think your uncle would want you to blame yourself. I think he'd want you to keep your head up and keep on going. I bet you anything your aunt wants the same thing.

[speterman]

[He stays silent, staring at whatever his eyes seemed to focus on, not that he was paying it any attention. If her words registered he didn't show any sign of it. When he finally speaks up his words are mirthless.]

I should have done something... Anything, I could have figured something out.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not good company.

[He wraps an arm around her and leans against her a bit, he's never been one for allowing people to cheer him up.]

I would have rather gotten hurt if I could have kept him from getting shot. I would have rather have taken that bullet than him. He didn't deserve it.

[sugaredpotions]

You don't have to worry about being good company right now. That's my job.

And - I understand not wanting him to get shot. I do. Nobody wants someone that they love to be hurt, or be killed. But that goes both ways.

That man shouldn't have gone into the shop with a gun. At all. Your uncle shouldn't have been killed. But you don't - you don't have to beat yourself up over it. It wasn't your fault.

[speterman]

[There's the silence again, only after he takes a sip of tea he responds:]

You're amazing company. I - I want to do something to make it up to him, to prove him he didn't die in vain you know, like, he risked his life for me. He always told me he thought I was going to be someone special - parents always tell their kids that, right? I think he was wrong. What else could you tell them though? "No, I think you're going to grow up and let people down." That doesn't go over well.

[There's an unhappy smile on his lips for a split second.]