sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Filtered from teachers and any particularly detention-happy prefects]

[Inkblots. Oh God, inkblots, inkblots everywhere. And the following is scribbled hastily.]

Just woke up to quite a surprise and after nearly being shocked into having a damn heart attack, my biggest question is -

WHO THE HELL TAUGHT SHERLOCK HOW TO GET INTO HUFFLEPUFF?!

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Believe me, keep things up the way you are and I'll have plenty of reasons to keep saying it.

Stubborn as you are, you're just going to have to face facts that you're never going to get that reaction. Yeah, he's possessive and gets cranky over the idea of my past girlfriends or any potential future girlfriends, but it's because he thinks romance is stupid and pointless, and that I'll be... I don't know... ruined or something if I get in a relationship. He's made that abundantly clear. You're not going to get a booming declaration of his eternal, burning love for me because he hasn't got any. It's just the way he is.

He punched me in the face right after I told him I was going to see how negotiable your sexuality was.

I know exactly why he's never going to declare anything, and that 'old chum'. Your fault.

And the fact that you'd been goading him for God knows how long doesn't factor into that? Besides, even if you did try to put whatever moves you've got on me, your plan would backfire. You'd just get Sherlock watching me shut you down emphatically and also possibly suplex you. My sexuality doesn't negotiate with terrorists.

Oh, really? How is this my fault?

Terrorist? Are you calling me sexually explosive or something?

Well, not really one to gossip. You want to know why, ask him.

[Sherlock slides off his bed, straightening his clothes as once back on the ground.]

I thought I might join you. I usually skip the meal myself. Not much to do outside my room, though.

Yes, Tony. That is exactly what I'm saying. Your raw animal magnetism is too powerful, and I am overcome. You can't see it, but I am swooning like a Victorian heiress in a corset that's too tight.

I have talked to him about this kind of thing, you know. How else do you think I came to know his less-than-impressed opinions on dating and things like that?

Well, when you're in my presence it's understandable, I mean really, few can resist.

So, you've spoken about you dating him? Or you dating girls?

[John keeps the lead as they surreptitiously make their way to the common room. Maybe later he'll revel in being the leader for once, but right now he's focused on getting them away from the prying eyes of any potential whistle-blowers.]

Didn't your mum ever tell you breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Gives your brain energy and all. But sure, that sounds good to me.

[He peers back over his shoulder to pin Sherlock with a Look.]

We can have breakfast together every morning if it'll keep me from having to do this stunt every day.

And humble, too. What a catch.

Well, me dating girls. And him dating... anyone. He was very dismissive of the whole practice in general.

It's not as though I'm planning on illegally moving into Hufflepuff House. This was just a temporary escape from Bruce and Tony.

And Mummy may have mentioned the bit about brain food but that hardly makes sense. Eating slows the brain down. All your physical processes are all tied up in digestion. I can't really risk that too often.

[He keeps close to John, watching him and his surroundings.]

Yeah, I bet he was.

Wait, how long ago was this discussion?

Bruce too? Don't tell me you punched him as well.

See, all that fundamentally makes no sense to me. You insist digestion clogs up your thinking, but your brain needs energy from food to... [He gestures vaguely for a moment, trying to come up with a proper word. He gives up.]...be. See, look at that. That's me on no brain energy.

[He holds a hand back to stop Sherlock as they reach the common room. He takes a few steps forward into the incredibly cozy and homey room, which is only just beginning to light up as the first hints of dawn approach. When it checks out, he beckons Sherlock to follow.]

Not long after we first met, I suppose. But I don't see how that matters. He hasn't given any sign he's changed his mind on the subject.

[Sherlock waits patiently then joins him when beckoned. This is fun~]

Well, that's your brain. Mine doesn't work that way. I'm sure if you stopped eating so much you'd equalize and see it's really rather superfluous.

No, I didn't punch Bruce. He just has a thing against Tony being hurt.

Or, y'know, I could do what other people do in that situation: pass out. I'd say you must photosynthesize if I didn't already know how dark your room is. You're just some kind of medical wonder.

Oh yeah, that. Thanks for reminding me that I can use that as ammunition if Tony starts being a git again. Haha. "If".

[He stops abruptly, listening closely to see if a sound he thought he heard was real or merely imagined. He hears the stirring again, and waves urgently.]

I think that's coming from the first year dorm. C'mon, we've got to get out of here before we have company.

How about a hypothetical.

What if he actually was interested in someone?

Medical wonder or wonderful?

[He smirks. He waits quietly while John detects the threat to their escape and nods at the new need for urgency, bolting across the open area as quietly as possible.]

Well... that would depend on if this were an actual hypothetical or one of those not-actually-hypothetical-at-all-in-any-capacity hypotheticals.

Can we just humor me for a moment and answer the question?

[John rushes to get the door open as quickly and quietly as he can. He manages to pull them through the entrance and bring the door shut, slamming his back against it. Just in time, too; the faint sound of slightly confused voices chatter behind the closed door. John pants a quiet but gleeful adrenaline-fueled laugh.]

Both, sometimes.

[Sherlock chuckles beside him. This is the best way to start the day.]

Well, mission accomplished, John. Well done. Early still but I believe we could easily find a place to sit while the morning banquet gets itself prepared.

Fine.

Then I guess... I'd be proud of him. For letting someone in the heart he insists he doesn't have.

What if it was a guy?

[The giggles finally begin to subside.]

Yeah, alright. At least now we only look very suspicious, instead of INCREDIBLY suspicious.

You owe me for this, though. If someone had caught us, we'd both be in loads of trouble, and all I did was wake up and try to get you out of there.

I wouldn't have let them punish you. Had someone found us I would have bolted slowly enough to have been caught and say I came to beat you up. Having earlier punched Tony, they would assume I was in a state of mental distress and dealt with me without further involvement of you. If asked how I got in, I'd say I observed someone entering and learned the key. Nothing would lead back to you or anyone else. No worries.

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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