sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Filtered from teachers and any particularly detention-happy prefects]

[Inkblots. Oh God, inkblots, inkblots everywhere. And the following is scribbled hastily.]

Just woke up to quite a surprise and after nearly being shocked into having a damn heart attack, my biggest question is -

WHO THE HELL TAUGHT SHERLOCK HOW TO GET INTO HUFFLEPUFF?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[John sighs, relieved.]

Oh, good. I'm glad I don't have to talk you down from that polyjuice plan. If I was that desperate to try to pull one over on my family, I'd have invited you to this thing and then said something like, "And here's the skirt you'll be wearing."

[Chuckles]

I'd at least expect you to give me enough for-notice to shave.

Among other things, yeah. Though God knows how you'd research things like how to use the restroom while your... pipes are magically rerouted. Or what to do about bras. Those things are a nightmare, and that's just trying to get them off someone. Who knows what dark powers are needed to actually get the damned things on.

[.... Is actually considering the scientific method to such research...]

I don't recall having to put too much thought into learning to urinate the first time. I imagine most biological functions are fairly simple to reason out. Never touched a bra, though.

[Oh geez. Sherlock had to know the differences between men and women... didn't he? He might profess to having no interest in sex in general and women in particular, but he had to have been given The Talk, right?]

Sherlock... er, I'm not so sure if it's the kind of thing the polyjuice potion replicates, but on the off chance that it is, you do know there are some biological functions women go through that men don't, right? Ones that require a pretty detailed idea of what to do to keep things from getting... messy.

John, are you honestly suggesting a man using polyjuice potion could menstruate? That is perhaps the dumbest thing you have ever said in your life. As for the production of vaginal secretions, I'm sure even with your charming personality I could stay relatively dry.

[The Talk was had. It involved books with pictures of cross-section human beings. Very insightful.]

[It seems John can't decide if he wants to hide his face in his palms or raise his hands in flustered despair, so he sort of settles for a mix of the two. One hand covers his face while the other gives a frustrated wave.]

I said I wasn't familiar with how polyjuice works! Some of us mere mortals do struggle in potions sometimes, you know! And can we please just pretend you never even said that other thing you just said?

Oh, please. Even if you don't know exactly how polyjuice works, menstruation is a sign of fertility. I'm fairly interested in where you think babies go if a gentleman is capable of conceiving one in his short time as a woman.

[Yeah, you don't get away with being that much of an idiot that easily, John.]

[John gives Sherlock a frowning, 'now you're just being a dick' look.]

Of course I didn't think that. Even if I did, a dose of the potion only lasts a few hours at most. That's not even enough time for an actual woman to get pregnant; definitely not enough time for an egg to implant, maybe not even enough to conceive.

I wasn't so sure about the period thing because you physically, and from most accounts I've heard very completely, become the person you've based the potion on. And if that person was on her monthly when you nabbed her hair for the potion... there's worse leaps of logic to make. And I already said it was far-fetched and that I'm no potions expert, so there's no need to be so snippy.

Well, consistent dosages of the potion can elongate the disguised state for long periods of time. But no, John. I'm relatively certain I would not lose my appendix if the person I changed into had had theirs removed, neither would I suddenly develop a weeping womb.

I can't help it if I'm snippy; you're an idiot.

[John heaves an irritated sigh. There's just no winning when it comes to Sherlock, sometimes. Though he always intended to find a real date for Harry's wedding, now he kind of wants to find one as soon as possible.]

Fine. Okay. You're right. I'm wrong. I'm an idiot and shame on me for ever thinking I could be anything otherwise. Now do you want to keep rubbing all that in over something utterly pointless, or are you ready to drop it?

It's no fun if you agree. Is that the best you can do?

[... what.]

Are you seriously trying to provoke an argument because it's fun?

Not provoke, but prolong? Yes.

Okay. Then... why the hell would you want to do that?

Oh, and no answering with "Because it's fun." That's cheap and you know it.

But arguments are fun. It's my point of view verses yours. It's a competition of not only knowledge but the application of it. People are very interesting when they're defending their opinions.

Yeah, but what started this wasn't an opinion or a point of view. I don't care if I was wrong about the polyjuice thing. Hell, I even expected I wouldn't be right. There's no stakes or point in arguing that.

Also, for the record, if you're going to use the "debate is fun" argument, calling your opponent an idiot outright isn't really the best way to express that.

[Shrug]

I'm not an inherently good person.

Yeah, I forget that sometimes. Thanks for the reminder.

[Ooh, someone's gone a bit prickly.]

Trust me, I am eternally amazed at your ability to cope with it.

[John sniffs and rolls his shoulders. He still looks perturbed, but at least Sherlock didn't go and say something to make things worse that time.]

Yeah, well, occasionally I wonder about that myself.

You're only here because you want to be. No one is forcing you.

True. Doesn't mean I can't point out when you've been a prick, though.

Doesn't mean I'll change.

Doesn't mean I'll back down.

04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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