tHrEe

[mo_cara]

So lEt mE BrEaK It dOwN FoR YoU MoThErFuCkErS.
tHeRe wAs tHiS MoThErFuCkEr nAmEd jEsUs, AnD ThAt fInE BrOtHeR Be aLl pReAcHiN LiFe aNd pEaCe aNd dRiNk a lOt oF MoThErUfUcKiN WiNe wItH HiS HoMiEs.
So hE Be bRiNgInG MiRaClEs uP To aLl tHeM GrEeK MoThErFuCkErS WhAt lIvEd iN NaZaReTh aNd aLsO SoMe bAbIeS AnD InCeNsE AnD ShIt.
BuT SoMe aSsHoLe cAmE AlOnG AnD DeCiDeD To hAnG JeSuS Up oN A MoThErFuCkIn cRoSs wItH NaIlS, aNd dId sOmE FuCkEd uP ToRtUrE ShIt tO ThAt sWeEt bRo, UnTiL He hAd hAd eNoUgH WiTh tHaT WhAcKeD PlAcE, wHiCh wAs aLl bEiNg cAlLeD ThE CiTy oF SkUlLs.
So hE PuLlEd hIs bAd sElF DoWn fRoM ThE CrOsS AnD ThErE WaS BlOoD AnD ShIt mOtHeRfUcKiN EvErYwHeRe, BuT He dIdN'T EvEn cArE, eXcEpT He sTiLl uP AnD DiEd.
AnD ThEy sTuCk tHaT BrOtHeR In a mOtHeRfUcKiN CaVe aNd hE TuRnEd iNtO A ZoMbIe bEcAuSe hE HaD ThAt mUcH MaGiC AlL Up iN HiM, tHe mAgIc oF MuSiC AnD LoVe aNd aLl tHaT GoOd sHiT, aNd hE KePt oN PrEaChIn tHe wOrD Of mIrAcLeS EvEn aFtEr hE WaS DeAd.
AnD ThAt's wHaT EaStEr iS, iT'S ZoMbIe jEsUs dAy, AnD YoU GoTtA WaTcH ThE MoThErFuCkIn eGgS BeCaUsE If tHeY HaTcH ZoMbIe cHiCkEnS ThEn tHaT MeAnS JeSuS Is cOmInG BaCk tO GeT ReVeNgE AnD AlSo cLeAr aLl tHe mOtHeRfUcKeRs mInDs oF HaTe aNd sHiT.


[OOC translation in normal text.]

So let me break it down for you motherfuckers.
There was this motherfucker named Jesus, and that fine brother be all preachin life and peace and drink a lot of motherufuckin wine with his homies.
So he be bringing miracles up to all them greek motherfuckers what lived in Nazareth and also some babies and incense and shit.
But some asshole came along and decided to hang Jesus up on a motherfuckin cross with nails, and did some fucked up torture shit to that sweet bro, until he had had enough with that whacked place, which was all being called the city of skulls.
So he pulled his bad self down from the cross and there was blood and shit motherfuckin everywhere, but he didn't even care, except he still up and died.
And they stuck that brother in a motherfuckin cave and he turned into a zombie because he had that much magic all up in him, the magic of music and love and all that good shit, and he kept on preachin the word of miracles even after he was dead.
And that's what easter is, it's zombie Jesus day, and you gotta watch the motherfuckin eggs because if they hatch zombie chickens then that means Jesus is coming back to get revenge and also clear all the motherfuckers minds of hate and shit.

Comments

[witchafterall]

I'm sure some students will appreciate the summary, but, ah... don't you think calling it "Zombie Jesus Day" is a bit disrespectful?

[purrfect]

:3 < oh wow
:3 < this is um
:3 < a purrspective i have never heard befur!
:3 < it was very infurmative, thanks gamzee!

[faintwaves]

..............my parents never told me that part

[its_cor_aline]

When I brought this up with my parents I got grounded.

[yerawwizarderi]

wwwwwwhat
the hell are you talkin about