tHrEe

[mo_cara]

So lEt mE BrEaK It dOwN FoR YoU MoThErFuCkErS.
tHeRe wAs tHiS MoThErFuCkEr nAmEd jEsUs, AnD ThAt fInE BrOtHeR Be aLl pReAcHiN LiFe aNd pEaCe aNd dRiNk a lOt oF MoThErUfUcKiN WiNe wItH HiS HoMiEs.
So hE Be bRiNgInG MiRaClEs uP To aLl tHeM GrEeK MoThErFuCkErS WhAt lIvEd iN NaZaReTh aNd aLsO SoMe bAbIeS AnD InCeNsE AnD ShIt.
BuT SoMe aSsHoLe cAmE AlOnG AnD DeCiDeD To hAnG JeSuS Up oN A MoThErFuCkIn cRoSs wItH NaIlS, aNd dId sOmE FuCkEd uP ToRtUrE ShIt tO ThAt sWeEt bRo, UnTiL He hAd hAd eNoUgH WiTh tHaT WhAcKeD PlAcE, wHiCh wAs aLl bEiNg cAlLeD ThE CiTy oF SkUlLs.
So hE PuLlEd hIs bAd sElF DoWn fRoM ThE CrOsS AnD ThErE WaS BlOoD AnD ShIt mOtHeRfUcKiN EvErYwHeRe, BuT He dIdN'T EvEn cArE, eXcEpT He sTiLl uP AnD DiEd.
AnD ThEy sTuCk tHaT BrOtHeR In a mOtHeRfUcKiN CaVe aNd hE TuRnEd iNtO A ZoMbIe bEcAuSe hE HaD ThAt mUcH MaGiC AlL Up iN HiM, tHe mAgIc oF MuSiC AnD LoVe aNd aLl tHaT GoOd sHiT, aNd hE KePt oN PrEaChIn tHe wOrD Of mIrAcLeS EvEn aFtEr hE WaS DeAd.
AnD ThAt's wHaT EaStEr iS, iT'S ZoMbIe jEsUs dAy, AnD YoU GoTtA WaTcH ThE MoThErFuCkIn eGgS BeCaUsE If tHeY HaTcH ZoMbIe cHiCkEnS ThEn tHaT MeAnS JeSuS Is cOmInG BaCk tO GeT ReVeNgE AnD AlSo cLeAr aLl tHe mOtHeRfUcKeRs mInDs oF HaTe aNd sHiT.


[OOC translation in normal text.]

So let me break it down for you motherfuckers.
There was this motherfucker named Jesus, and that fine brother be all preachin life and peace and drink a lot of motherufuckin wine with his homies.
So he be bringing miracles up to all them greek motherfuckers what lived in Nazareth and also some babies and incense and shit.
But some asshole came along and decided to hang Jesus up on a motherfuckin cross with nails, and did some fucked up torture shit to that sweet bro, until he had had enough with that whacked place, which was all being called the city of skulls.
So he pulled his bad self down from the cross and there was blood and shit motherfuckin everywhere, but he didn't even care, except he still up and died.
And they stuck that brother in a motherfuckin cave and he turned into a zombie because he had that much magic all up in him, the magic of music and love and all that good shit, and he kept on preachin the word of miracles even after he was dead.
And that's what easter is, it's zombie Jesus day, and you gotta watch the motherfuckin eggs because if they hatch zombie chickens then that means Jesus is coming back to get revenge and also clear all the motherfuckers minds of hate and shit.

Comments

[witchafterall]

I'm sure some students will appreciate the summary, but, ah... don't you think calling it "Zombie Jesus Day" is a bit disrespectful?

[mo_cara]

WhAt Do YoU mEaN, sIsTeR?

[witchafterall]

Jesus wasn't undead, or reanimated, He was resurrected.

[mo_cara]

SaMe MoThErFuCkIn ThInG!

[witchafterall]

Not exactly.

Don't you think it's somewhat disingenuous to associate something so selfless and pure with horror and monsters?

[mo_cara]

NaH, hOrRoR aNd MoNsTeRs ArE tHe BiTcHtItS!
aNyWaY, iT's A dArK mOtHeRfUcKiN wOrLd, YoU nEeD a DaRk MoThErFuCkEr To ShOw ThE wAy!
WhAt'S aLl ThIs DiSiNgEnUoUs ShIt, ThOuGh?

[witchafterall]

On the contrary; Jesus is meant to be the light that guides our way in such a dark world.

[mo_cara]

oK, sO hOw CoMe ThEy AlWaYs ShOw HiM aLl BlOoDy AnD sHiT aNd NaKeD?
tHaT's MoThErFuCkIn DaRk.

[witchafterall]

Before His death. To prove how much He was willing to suffer for our sakes.

[mo_cara]

SiStEr, I sTiLl AiN't SeEiNg HoW tHiS iSn'T mOtHeRfUcKiN dArK.

[witchafterall]

If you believe in it, what can be brighter than a life without pain?

[mo_cara]

YeAh, BuT yOu JuSt SaId HoW tHe DuDe WaS mOtHeRfUcKiN tOrTuReD oN PuRpOsE fOr ThAt.

[witchafterall]

Of course His suffering was dark; but it's what happened after His resurrection that takes all that away.

[mo_cara]

no way.
NO MOTHERFUCKIN WAY.
you can't just make all that disappear.
IT HAPPENED, NO DENIALS.

[witchafterall]

You misunderstand. It's not that it didn't happen; it's that it's all forgiven.

[mo_cara]

MaN, nO iT aIn'T.
i HeArD wHaT tHiS oNe DuDe WhO mAdE tHeM mOtHeRfUcKiN cRoSs NaIlS gOt CuRsEd AnD hAs To WaNdEr ThE eArTh FoReVeR, AnD iT's HiM wHaT wAs ThE fIrSt VaMpIrE.
i GuEsS hIm AnD tHaT cAiN mOtHeRfUcKeR mUsT pArTy A lOt.

[witchafterall]

[For a minute she's about to argue that vampires are nothing but a myth, until she remembers where and what she is.]

The origins of that story are a subject of some debate.

[mo_cara]

mAyBe, BuT iT sTiLl Be MoThErFuCkIn TrUe!

[purrfect]

:3 < oh wow
:3 < this is um
:3 < a purrspective i have never heard befur!
:3 < it was very infurmative, thanks gamzee!

[mo_cara]

nO pRoBlEm, KiTtY cAt ChIcA!

[faintwaves]

..............my parents never told me that part

[mo_cara]

yEaH, pReTtY mOtHeRfUcKiN cRaZy, RiGhT?

[its_cor_aline]

When I brought this up with my parents I got grounded.

[mo_cara]

WoAh, ThEy CaN dO tHaT fRoM aLl ThE wAy OvEr ThErE?
sOmEtImEs THE MAN dOn'T wAnT yOu To KnOw AbOuT rEaL sHiT iN tHe WoRlD, tHoUgH.

[yerawwizarderi]

wwwwwwhat
the hell are you talkin about

[mo_cara]

WhAt THE MAN lIkEs To CaLl EaStEr, BrO!
hOnK! ;o)
sO YoU gOnNa Be CoMiNg BaCk WiTh Me?

[yerawwizarderi]

you wwant me to come wwith you

[mo_cara]

I dOnE tOlD yOu!
HeLl YeS, mY bRoThEr!

[yerawwizarderi]

im just askin nobody evver invvited me to come ovver wwith them before
i didnt really wwant to go home anywway

[mo_cara]

wElL, aIn'T nObOdY wHaT's EvEr CoMe To My HoUsE bEfOrE, sO tHaT mAkEs It MoThErFuCkIn PeRfEcT!
bUt AiN't YoU gOnNa MiSs YoUr Da?

[yerawwizarderi]

no
hes nevver been any kind a father and i dont givve a damn wwhether he wwants me to come home or not cause i aint in the habit a obligin people wwho wwont take an interest in me

[mo_cara]

Oh, YeAh, I gUeSs ThAt Be OnE wAy To ThInK aBoUt It.
AnYwAy, I gOt An InTeReSt In YoU, mOtHeRfUCkEr.
;o)

[yerawwizarderi]

wwell yeah id say so considerin you invvited me to your fuckin house
dont wworry im comin you dont havve to convvince me or anythin

[mo_cara]

sWeEt As HoNeY.

[yerawwizarderi]

wwhat is