3 Rescued Princesses

[wandsr4wimps]

I'M A TEENAGER TODAY!!

STATS FOR AGE 13:
+ 5 Strength
+ 4 Agility
+ 1 Charisma
+ 0 Intelligence
- 3 Wisdom

So now that I'm in the teen zone, all you guys who are already there need to start spilling the deets. Do we get a special card? A secret handshake? Tell me everything. Every time I've asked Jake about being a teenager, he just said a bunch of stuff about hair and bad smells and feelings, but I'm like 99% sure he only said that to keep from spoiling the surprise.

Speaking of Jake, he'll be here on Sunday for the family day thing! If you haven't met him, you should, since he's the best bro in the universe.

Comments

[mo_cara]

yEaH, yOu PrObAbLy DiD, bUt NoW yOu'Ll GeT eVeN mOrE!
mOtHeRfUcKiN tRoUsEr BoNeRs, BrO!
;o)

[wandsr4wimps]

Trouser boners?

Y'mean my legs?

[mo_cara]

nAh, MoThErFuCkEr, WhAt'S bEtWeEn 'Em!

[turns into the squeakiest scream of a voice half-way through]

[wandsr4wimps]

You mean my...

AAaaAA! OH CRUD OH CRUD OH CRUD WHAT ABOUT IT?! WHAT HAPPENS?! D-DOES 'BONERS' MEANS THE SKIN FALLS OFF?!

[Voice!]

[mo_cara]

Oh, uh ... man, no, I don't motherfuckin' think so. It's more like you get a bone on the inside? Like, I don't know if it's all being an actual bone, but I guess it could be! Like, your prick bone or something. And it only comes out when you're in the mood for makeouts.

[Voice!]

[wandsr4wimps]

Okay, that's, uh... that's less bad than what I was thinking. But it still totally sounds like a wide-awake nightmare, dude!

Why would it even do that?

[Voice!]

[mo_cara]

'Cause it's all motherfuckin' excited! Like, it wants to gets its party on with whoever you're making out with, right? So, it's like ... [pause, as Gamzee tries to think] You know when you're all flipping off the handle, because you're so motherfuckin' scared, and all the hairs that are doing their own thing on your neck, they all decide they better get with the other motherfuckers and all stand up at the same time?

It's like that! Except instead of scared, it's for sexy times, bro!

[The best explainer, it is him.]