sortinghat_rp | Experiment Eight

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Experiment Eight

Mom just owled me an article from the muggle paper that says there's going to be an Adventures of Captain Hammer movie. They just confirmed the cast list and everything. Next thing you know there will be a musical or something!

They can't be doing this. You've got to be kidding me. My childhood is over, this is not a test.

This Neil guy they have cast as Dr. Horrible looks like a total goober.

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I don't know that story.

Is Captain Hammer a pirate captain?

No, he's a superhero. One of those brawn-over-brains types.
I'm not really fond of him so much, but the comics have a good story.

Ah, I see. I don't care much for superheroes personally, not the typical sort, at least.

I'm sorry you're not pleased about the film, though.

It's got...sentimental value for me. Not pleased is kind of an understatement.

[So curious. Cannot let anyone know. Will attempt to hide it badly.]

Wwhat's so fuckin important about that?

[That's adorable.]

Only that movie adaptations are notoriously atrocious, and the series came out almost ten years ago so there will be all sorts of people going to see the film who never read the comics, and then they'll go around thinking that it's canon, and god forbid even better than the original.

You want to read it? I can let you borrow it if you'd like.

[Eridan has to think about all of that.]

So this is like, you bein enlightened about muggle culture? [You know that's something he could almost approve of. Almost. Except MUGGLE except goddamn he really really wants to know. CURSE YOU BILLY FOR BEING SUCH AN INTERESTING FIGURE.]

You could call it that.

Or me being vehemently opposed to a Hollywood bastardization of a treasured childhood memory.

You curious?

im fuckin skeptical a the quality a this

What is there to be skeptical of? It's a comic book, not a hand grenade.

its a muggle comic book though

That's even less reason to be skeptical of it. It's not like it can actually come alive and bite you.

Give it a skim, if you don't like it hand it back. At most, you'll have wasted thirty seconds if you decide it's not worth your time.

...all right
deal

I say you make it sound like musicals are a bad thing! *The most displeased of eyerolls*

Not all musicals (although I haven't seen many).

Superhero musicals? Oh my God. Did you hear about the Spiderman debacle, or are you too British?

I take offense to that but do enlighten me!
Im afraid im not abreast with the latest hollywood gossip.

It's not Hollywood gossip, it's Broadway stupidity.
Basically, when they were practicing on the sets for the Spiderman musical, they maimed at least three different actors in the title role because of all of the rigging and web-shooting.

Are they not the same thing???
Egad! That sounds terrible!
But if its a movie musical would that not be easier?
They could merely use special effects and whatnot. I believe i would take a fancy to a song about how thoroughly captain hammer could defeat dr horrible in a round of fisticuffs.

I don't think the movie is actually going to be a musical. I was speculating on the possibility that the next step after the movie would be to make a stage musical.
At which point I may just crawl in a hole and die.

...

Excuse me what.

Captain hammer beating the life out of dr horrible! It sounds like great fun and id love to see it in action in the wide-screen.

I'm not sure if you noticed, but there's a whole lot more to the comic than just "Captain Hammer beating the life out of Dr. Horrible". In fact, I would hazard a guess to say that if it wasn't absolutely essential to preserving the "good will out" status quo, Dr. Horrible would actually win more often than not.

But no, the corporate neanderthals crave BLOOD! God forbid that brains ever will out over brawn, in their self-indulgent jaunts through fantasyland!

If dr horrible is half the developed character you believe him to be then explain to me why the comic is centered around captain hammer???
Wouldnt these "corporate neanderthals" who are intelligent enough to thought up such a "good character" realize how full of potential he is?
Answer: They wouldve if that were the case! But seeing that dr horrible is merely another run-of-the-mill blither similar to the likes of the villainous dr octopus they made a good decision and didnt bother.
Captain hammer is a hero fighting for the side of good and a real smashing bloke to boot rendering your argument moot.

First of all, you seem to be under the egregious misapprehension that the author is synonymous with the publisher. It's obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that had the publishers not cancelled it after twenty issues, the author had major plans for Dr. Horrible's character! Surely you noticed that the series cuts off abruptly right after introducing Captain Hammer's love interest. Obviously, it's incomplete. The only possible good that could come out of the inevitable trainwreck of the film is that the renewed interest may give the publishers cause to approach the artist again and offer him a new contract to continue the series.

The fact of the matter is that The Adventures of Captain Hammer was only made to look like a simple good versus evil children's comic, while also taking a downright scathing jab at the genre as a whole! Captain Hammer is an unlikeable, muscle-brained, slack-jawed buffoon who's utterly lacking in personality and tact and serves as a blank slate onto whom other mouth-breathers can project their jockish fantasies for blood and violence and - as you put it - fisticuffs.

Dr. Horrible, on the other hand, is a fascinating study of what happens to unappreciated genius, just going by the excerpts of his vlog that are shown through Captain Hammer's computer. Maybe if the public wasn't so busy mooning over Captain Hammer, corporate tool, they would have appreciated just how smart Dr. Horrible really is, and he could have discovered the cure for cancer by now, or something. But the society that worships musclebound paramecium-brains is the same society that has squandered his intellect and reduced him to a haunted, desperate shell of a man who tries to make a difference in society in the only way society has left him. He's tragic and haunted and wonderful.

But then again, I would expect that the complexities of a character like Dr. Horrible would be lost on a single-minded hero-complex Gryffindor stereotype like yourself.

Hm. Do forgive my baseless accusation but i have a nagging feeling in my abdomen thats telling me we arent conversing about beloved comic characters anymore!

_{[Wow, gee that sure is a lot of scribbles.

Yep, that's still a lot of scribbles.

Oh look. More scribbles.]}

I don't know where you could possibly have gotten that idea.

Well i havent the faintest either!
Could it be the fact that youre being completely transparent?
It boggles me to no end.

Wow, sarcasm! That's original!

Come back when you've put your grown-up pants on, English.
Which will be never, because you have the maturity of a sea sponge.

At least im not the one harboring issues and taking them out on escapism!

You've clearly never seen how ardently people will argue about these things on the internet.

Escapism is serious business, English.

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Experiment Eight

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rant mode engaged

what the hell is logic

no jake what have you done (I'm so sorry about how long this ended up)

he has created a monster

And then promptly killed it.

welp better decisions than dr. frankenstein

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