(no subject)

[sonofamelonlord]

I suppose it's flattering to see your uncle starting a chain of people's families increasing. Even if he did it by adoption that he forgot to mention.


[[OOC: Strike is something he scribbled out, and thus unhackable.]

Comments

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i cant

[centaurstestes]

D --> Then you're not trying hard enough

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

whats the point in trying
ill just fail like i always do

[centaurstestes]

D --> Honor
D --> Dignity
D --> Pride
D --> Never back down, and never break
D --> If you go down, take your opponent down with you

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i cant
do
that
i keep telling you
that im a failure
i already told you that i cant stand up to you
what am i even supposed to do
i cant win


so just
stop
leave me alone

[centaurstestes]

D --> So you have already given up
D --> Fine
D --> I thought perhaps you could be STRONG
D --> I see now that I was wrong
D --> You really are pathetic

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i

i know

so stop
just stop
i know im worthless
i know my dreams are stupid
i know everything
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know

[There's a long pause, and more tears fall onto the page.]

but you know what?
its okay
its so okay because i just remembered something
my biggest dream of all has already come true
i flew
i flew with wings
so whats it matter if everything else is stupid
and im weak
and im worthless
i proved you wrong already one one thing

i flew

[centaurstestes]

D --> Hm
D --> Then why are you crying

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i just wanted you to know that
you didnt take away my dreams
and im crying because of everything else

[centaurstestes]

D --> I don't want to take away your dreams
D --> I want you to stop being pathetic and be STRONG

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

why?
whats it even matter to you?

besides
we all want things we cant have
im the best at that
maybe its the only thing im good at

[centaurstestes]

D --> Because no one, no matter who they are
D --> Is born weak
D --> It takes time and will
D --> But anyone can be STRONG
D --> If they truly desire it

[selfhatred]

HEY ASSHOLE.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT PRIDE AND DIGNITY WHEN YOU'RE MAKING SOMEONE CRY?
DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF KNOWING THAT YOU CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT INSTEAD OF CRY INTO YOUR FUCKING PILLOW ABOUT YOUR OWN INSECURITIES?

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

stop

Private

[selfhatred]

Where are you?

Private

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

it doesnt matter
dont worry about me
im tired of people having to worry about me

Private

[selfhatred]

I'm coming to find you anyway. Might as well let me know so I don't have to kick down any doors.

Private

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

why
dont you ever listen

im heading to the astronomy tower
almost there actually

Private

[selfhatred]

[the astronomy tower.

shit.]

Don't do anything stupid before I get there.
You hear me?
You kill yourself and I'll
I'll
FUCK

[and there will be no more responses because Karkat has slammed his journal shut, swearing violently as he gets up from his seat and runs.]

[centaurstestes]

D --> Yes

[Never mind that he spends his nights lying awake, digging his nails into his skin hard enough to break the surface, hating himself and how he'll never be good enough. At least he keeps trying and doesn't cry over it.]

[selfhatred]

GO TO HELL.

[centaurstestes]

D --> Already there

[selfhatred]

GOOD.
MAYBE YOU'LL SHRIVEL UP AND DIE WHEN YOU SWEAT SO FUCKING MUCH.
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?
THEY HAVE NO TOWELS DOWN IN HELL.

[centaurstestes]

D --> Dying completely defeats the purpose of Hell, Vantas
D --> Hell is eternal suffering and despair
D --> Death is the easy way out

[selfhatred]

OH GOOD. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WELL AWARE.
NICE TO KNOW YOU'RE NOT FUCKING STUPID ON SOME THINGS.
HOPE YOU'RE COMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE DOWN THERE FOR A FUCKING LONG TIME.
SORRY TO SAY BUT YOUR OLD MAN AND OLD LADY COULDN'T MAKE IT TO THE FUNERAL.
SAID SOMETHING ABOUT BEING MORE INTERESTED IN OTHER THINGS RATHER THAN SOME MISERABLE WORM.