005

[rule_britannia]

It isn't normal for a stuffed snake to suddenly animate and attempt to crush your siblings, is it?

I'm rather sure I didn't make it do that.

[The above is scrawled out and messily cross-hatched over after this conversation, though still readable for anyone who's curious enough]

[Filtered to Alfred F. Jones]
I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU.

Comments

[allamericanreject]

Why are you going to murder me? I didn't do anything bad.

[By his perception.]

[di_intraining]

What the hell?

[rule_britannia]

Don't ask me! It took them 20 minutes to get it off Phineas' leg. Father is furious.

[FILTERED YOU IDIOT]

[rule_britannia]

That bloody snake! Where did you get it?!

[FINE FILTERED JEEZ CALM DOWN]

[allamericanreject]

Chill out, dude! I got it while we were in America and it's perfectly normal.
I just...put a spell on it. before I sent it...
I thought your brothers would probably avoid you if they thought your new toy was going to...
Uh.
Was one of them bothering you, I mean?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get into for doing magic outside of school?!

They monitor that kind of thing, you know!

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Yeah yeah I know it's just that I thought if I did it out of the country it wouldn't matter as much.

Did it help you any?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

It was all I could do to keep father from launching an investigation!

And I'm grounded until school starts. Thanks a lot.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Oh.
I'm sorry...
I just wanted to help. I didn't think it would get you grounded Arthur. I thought it would make your brothers piss off for the rest of the summer.
It wasnt meant to hurt anyone too bad.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

You are an absolute moron.
I don't need all you hero-types coming to my rescue like I'm some damsel in distress.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Hey at least I was tryin
Wait.
Hero-types?
Who else was "coming to your rescue?"

[You always call him some version of idiot Arthur so he's ignoring that moron bit.]

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

That bloody Steve Rogers seems to think that facing down my brothers is a fucking marvellous idea. I'm not entirely sure if he actually saw them going for another kid in Diagon Alley or if he just went after them on principle.

Stupid prick is after getting himself put in hospital.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Well he aint equipped for that sort of shit like I am anyway. He's scrawny...
Anyway look.
I was seriously trying to help okay?
If you want to tell your dad it was me you can. I got in trouble already anyway. Stupid warning. It was just a little magic and it wasnt as if it was that bad.

[Filtered]

[thegluethatbinds]

Mr Kirkland. I hope you do realise that underaged magic is illegal outside of Hogwarts.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

Yes, sir. I'm well aware of that.

I didn't charm the thing.

[Filtered]

[thegluethatbinds]

Regardless, perhaps it might be wise to keep these sort of outbursts private. Underaged magic is a serious offence, and if investigated will lead to expulsion.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

It isn't t

Yes, sir.

[Filtered]

[thegluethatbinds]

Good to know we're on the same page. I'll see you in September, Mr Kirkland.

[moveslikejaeger]

suddenly everyone has all these cool toys i am so jealous :C

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

You could have ended up being expelled from school Alfred.
More to the point so could I.

If you're trying to help you're doing a bloody awful job of it.

[rule_britannia]

It is not 'cool', it got me grounded.

[moveslikejaeger]

that doesnt make it not cool that just makes your parents lame!!!

[rule_britannia]

That's one way to look at it.

[moveslikejaeger]

your brothers are dicks anyway serves them right >:I

[rule_britannia]

They are.
At least they've both left school now.