002 Buckethead

[speterman]

Guys, I think ittle Nova hates me. Maybe he and Hulk are brothers or something because I'm pretty sure he's making every attempt he can on my life, and my shins!

This is what I get for letting my goat play with all the other goats.

Comments

[greenmoonrising]

Not hard you're not Thor

Light enough so you won't crack your skull, firm enough that he'll feel it - it's kind of like asserting dominance. Hulk quieted a bit (towards me at least) after I head butted him a few times.

[speterman]

What are you even on about

You want me to headbutt a goat!?!?!?!?!?

Okay, now I know you're taking the piss.

[greenmoonrising]

He's a kid not an adult, it doesn't even hurt!

[speterman]

I'll give you a chocolate frog if you come headbutt my goat and tell him to stop being a little prick!

[greenmoonrising]

I don't like chocolate, sorry. You could try bribing someone hard headed?

[speterman]

Oh come on, I don't want to headbutt a goat, and you're good at it, do me a solid then?

[greenmoonrising]

I'd do anything for love but not that - and considering that I don't love you (sorry) I'm not headbutting your goat.

[speterman]

I never said love, here, don't break out the l word at me, I asked do me a solid, which is totally a platonic bro thing, we're bros, come on.

[greenmoonrising]

Sorry bro but I'm not doing it. You could try putting Nova up against Hulk though to distract him from your shins?

[speterman]

That's just cruel. Why won't you headbutt my goat? What do you have against my goat? You're a goat racist.

[greenmoonrising]

Headbutting one's goat is a private thing that should only be shared between master and pet.

Seriously, just headbutt your own goat.

[speterman]

...Now you're just making this even more awkward than it should be...

Come on, aren't you supposed to help younger students out? Look at me, I'm an adorable younger student. Save my shins, Brucey.

[greenmoonrising]

I'm an awkward kind of guy.

You're not physically in danger, at risk of failing classes, or causing unnecessary trouble - this is one of those occasions where the older student isn't obligated to help out.

Try wearing a helmet when you headbutt Nova!

[greenmoonrising]

Also, don't call me Brucey.

[speterman]

[There's a long delay.]

What does that even mean?

I AM in physical danger what if he headbutts me and I fall and break something?

[greenmoonrising]

He's a kid - if you break something we have a great Hospital Wing.

[speterman]

I'm starting to think you're enjoying my discomfort.

[greenmoonrising]

Nah, I just think you're overreacting. Do you really think Professor Mercer would've assigned something especially dangerous to students?

And for Pete's sake, they're baby goats, not dragons.

[speterman]

My sake, nothing!

Then why won't you do it? If they're just baby goats.

I would headbutt your goat for you. That's what friends are for.

[greenmoonrising]

Because that goat is your responsibility - so you're the one who needs to headbutt him if he needs a lesson in manners.

Hulk headbutts everything enough to last him several lifetimes.

[speterman]

You know I already headbutted the goat right?

[greenmoonrising]

I figured as much, but you seemed to be having fun talking/writing. Is he behaving himself?

[speterman]

I am having fun, this is fun.

Yeah, he is, he started doing goat stuff so I let him at it. I'm actually sat in front of Hulk right now.

[greenmoonrising]

Are you sure that's a good idea? He might decide to brain you.

[speterman]

Perfect idea. I think he's starting to like me just a little bit.

They're not baby dragons, remember?