sortinghat_rp | 1 Sad, Sad Story

Let me tell you a sad, sad story. It's a story filled with tragedy and the slings and arrows of cruel, cruel fate, so get some tissues ready. You'll be bawlin' your eyes out!

You see, once upon a time - a time that is now - there was a boy. Is-was?! Tenses. What am I supposed to do with tenses in a framing device like this?! I'm talking about now, but convention dictates past tense for tales of tragedy and woe like this, ones on par with the sad stories of the Ancient Greeks, where people accidentally married their mothers and the like. Which frankly I never understood. Now, I like older women - I like them a lot! - but there comes a point where you just gotta look at the situation and think, "This broad could conceivably have given birth to me." I'm just sayin' it should give you some pause so you can evaluate your life choices.

Now what was I - RIGHT, the tale of anger and frustration!!

Anyway, this boy kept seeing people moaning about getting on a certain sports team - let's call it Shmidditch for anonymity's sake. And this boy - ah - he loved Shmidditch. And he was good at it. Great, even. And while he'd normally be a shoo-in for getting on the team, a pack of cold-hearted wizards who spend all of what little time they've got on this great earth sitting around in dusty rooms and always, always, always sneering down on anything and everything that doesn't fit just so into the neat little boxes of conduct that they approve of conspired against him to prevent him from even trying out!

So the boy was sad. No, the boy was angry. No, the boy was... - the boy is a lot of things all of the time.

But what you should take away from this little fable is that the boy hates it when people don't appreciate what they have, especially when they rub their false, pretend tragedies in everyone's face. And the boy has very particular ways of dealing with the things he hates.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, I read all of this stuff you've hurled at my face in an attempt to convince me that you didn't choke up for a second, doubting your abilities. You keep waving it around all pointedly, like you're trying to smack me in the face with a trout or somethin'. Well, I see through your fishy schemes!

If you really - and I mean really, deep down where it actually matters, where you are the purest form of you - had as much confidence in yourself as you claim, I don't think I'd have been quite so insistent in my sad little story. What's the first thing you do? Whine about who put you up to it? You're already looking to blame someone else for what you believe to be an inevitable failure, and you have the audacity to claim that you're 100% calm, cool, collected, and capable of confidence beyond compare?! That's hilarious! Thank you for the funniest thing I've seen in ages!! Your bold form of comedy is bound to sweep the nation!

Let me make a big assumption for a second and believe you that you're not worrying about this thing deep down. I can do that, right? Yeah, I'm nothing if not open-minded! But you're not the only one making noise about getting on a team (what is with you Slytherins? Is it genetic?), so don't get a swelled head thinking this is is some weird love letter of hate just for you where instead of "sealed with a kiss" you get "sealed with a kick". All I'm saying is I see a pattern, and what a pattern it is!

Oh, I certainly wouldn't claim that much confidence in myself, though this all comes back to your sweeping generalisations again now doesn't it? Do you put words into everyone's mouths or am I just a special case?

Projection, perhaps. I'm sensing a psychological problem. It's rather unsporting to go about placing your own issues on other people like that. If by 'not the only one' you mean Prescott, I'd thank you not to compare me to her. She actually didn't want to be on the team and I believe she'd be far happier if she wasn't.

I'm seeing a pattern here, too. And oh, what a pattern. My, my. You're quite an interesting fellow.

I put words in everyone's mouths when they don't have the decency to let everyone know clearly and in detail what's buzzing through their brains. It's so stingy! So callow! To go through life without constantly letting all the different ideas and feelings clanging around in you out for others to see and understand - what an existence!

So believe me when I say that I am generous. I put everything that I am at any given day - at any given SECOND! - on full display. All of my happiness, my sadness, my anger, my love, my peace, my everything! Sharing is caring, right? And I care; I care all the time. I care right now! Damn! I've got nothing to hide because there's nothing I can hide - covering it up is impossible! So logically, if I did put my own issues on other people, it'd be because I see a real strong resemblance. That should be easy enough for you to understand, right?

It seems our patterns are at cross-purposes. What a tacky clash of stripes and plaid.

That's certainly a.. distinctive kind of generosity.

[Oh hell, what even is this guy. Arthur's started to regret he addressed him, though he is terribly interesting]

1 Sad, Sad Story

[lol thanks! He's... a special guy.]

[XD; I can see that!]

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