sortinghat_rp | Eight ♒

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Eight ♒

I suppose now is as good a time as any to formally apologise for my behaviour under the influence of the unexplained events. We all know that it's an entirely blameless situation and that nothing can be done, so, any further mentions of the situation involving myself in particular may be reason enough for me to remove points. Let's not be counter productive about this, let's just move on from it.

This journal is also an opportunity to share some more positive news regarding Slytherin and Ravenclaw students taking my class. I have acquired a boggart and there will be a practical class in the next few weeks. As such, any concerns should be brought to me. However, if you skip without my consent I will make you regret it every day for the rest of your school life. Thank you.

Now, an assignment for all of you in my class, though the lengths will vary. I want you to consider the events of the previous days and then think about the risks and consequences of uncontrolled magic, even if it's not necessarily Dark Arts, it's still a situation one must understand and prepare for. I want you to take a long thought about why we have rules and regulations to adhere to and how they benefit us.
First to Third years I want to see at least three good paragraphs. Fourth to Fifth should write at least five. Sixth to Seventh I expect a convincing, well thought out essay with an argument for your opinion. The length is up to you.

I will finish with a friendly reminder that you may not use my situation as an example in your analysis unless you're particularly interested in failure.

[Private to Tulio]
15 points to Slytherin for impressive negotiation skills.

[[ooc: Homework goes HERE also Murdoc was a pirate for the wish event don't judge him. There will be a boggart log up in about two weeks!]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In more modern terms, they're also somebody who enjoys screwing with people, which is exactly what you're doing now. But believe me, you're so far from disgusting, so don't worry about that.

What's two galleons gonna hurt?

I'm so very flattered that you think so.

If he was honest about what he was spending it on I might not have fooled around so much.

<3

Why's it matter so much to you, though? Ain't like he can buy anything illegal here. Besides, don't you think after... Y'know. Don't you think it'd be good to at least do something nice for him? Even if it's just giving him money.

After that shit with Dave, I took him to Knocturn Alley to make up for it.

What was that for?

I'm only teasing him because he lied, Dirk. I have every intention of giving him the money.

Is that really an appropriate place for a boy?

What? The heart? What are hearts usually used for?

Alright, alright. I was just saying is all. Sorry for... y'know, bringing shit up, then.

He's 14 and I made him stick close to me. I practically made him hold my hand, really. We made it out without anything bad happening. So yeah, if you watch their back I don't see why it's a big deal.

Edited 2012-10-03 05:49 (UTC)

Pumping blood, obviously.

It's fine.

It's a dangerous place. Perhaps I'm more easily distracted. Or perhaps Eridan is less trustworthy than your one.

Right. My bad. I'll be sure to keep mine in my chest where it belongs. Silly me.

[Well now he feels suitably awkward. Why had he even done that in the first place? He's so dumb.]

When the kid's safety is on the line, I'm not gonna get distracted. But I dunno, they both seem the same in terms of sass and lil shittitude.

And I mean that in the most affectionate way possible.

Good, I wouldn't want to cause you needless pain.

[Which is to say, Sorry Bro I suck at this shit.]

Eridan has always had a habit of running off. At least he used to.

It's entirely accurate, unfortunately. Though I've never seen them interact.

[... Well that makes it slightly better.]

How sweet. It's almost as if you care about me, babe.

Sounds like he needs a leash. Did you know they make a thing that's like an umbilical cord? It's for the mommies who just aren't ready to let go. ~~I saw it when I was getting my~~

[NEVERMIND disregard that.]

Clearly the little shits need a playdate or something don't you think?

Don't call me babe and we'll see whether I'm actually anything.

That sounds beyond disturbing. Besides, in a pinch I can grab his scarf.

Maybe. I'm not sure if they'd get along at all, though.

What's wrong with babe? Is there something else that you'd prefer or what?

Scarves are so unreliable compared to umbilical cords.
But yeah those were disturbing as shit. Seriously don't go to baby stores unless you check them out beforehand because they can be really goddamn creepy. Especially if it's previously owned baby shit.

Yeah, no, probably not. But they need to learn to start getting along though, don'tcha think?

What's wrong with Murdoc?

Maybe, but they're less emotionally traumitising and weird.
I don't have any reason to go into baby stores, why are you going to baby stores? Why would you buy pre-owned baby things?

Do they? If they want to be friends I'm sure they'll come together on their own.

Man you're just gonna cut down every attempt at being affectionate aren't you? First my heart and now my pet names. I just can't win, can I? < / 3

Uh. Well I did kinda have a baby at one point... And he needed things.

Well. I guess.
I just figured since we're...

Getting along now, y'know, maybe they ought to, too.

Edited 2012-10-03 08:12 (UTC)

I had no idea you were so sentimental.

Did he need an umbilical cord leash?

They're still children, and they have much less in common. Dave is so irreverent and Eridan is such a broody thing. They'd never get along.

[You just described yourself and Dirk, Murdoc.]

There's a lot of shit you don't know about me.

And no he didn't. That would just be... no. Does that really seem like a thing I'd do?

[No one must ever find out what he did have to buy. That's a deep and dark secret he doesn't want anyone to find out about.]

You're right, they'd never get along. Who am I kidding.

[He kind of picks up on that fact and is just being a teasing douche now.]

Whose fault is that?

Yes, actually it does. You're the one who brought it up.

Why are you being so agreeable?

You can't be implying it's completely my fault, can you? Seriously?

There're some lengths even I wouldn't for irony. An umbilical cord is one of those lengths.

Would you prefer I argue?

I'm not implying it's anyone's fault! It was just a question.

I've been in baby stores and I've never seen anything like it.

If you think they'd make good friends then you're perfectly welcome to set them up on some sort of awkward encounter together. I'm sure Eridan won't mind.

Oh, well it sounded accusatory. These journals are too damn much like the internet.

Yeah well. Stop judging me.

I'm sure Dave wou-
No that's a lie, he'd be pretty damn pissed if I tried making them get along or something.
I'm just saying if you and I can get along then they should totally be able to at some point. I mean we didn't really get off on the right foot at first, did we? Now look at us.

Emotion is difficult to convey over text, I suppose.

<3

[Fuck. Stop that.]

I thought as much. I told you, teenagers are different. If they find out we want them to be friends, they'll do anything in their power to repulse each other. And what about the other five? Do we want those ones to get along too?

Edited 2012-10-03 09:12 (UTC)

Yes. Yes it is. It makes me wonder why the hell we're not using the voice option.

Oh right because you can't scribble things out in voice. What's that thingy?

We have too many goddamn kids.

I still feel strange talking to a book.

It's an inksplotch.

You don't. I do. Four is far too many for an unmarried man.

Hold on, I can fix that.

[After a few seconds, he puts a picture of himself onto the page.]

There, now it's like you're talking to the real deal.

And that doesn't look like an ordinary inkblot.

Also can I ask a question? It's a question that might come off like I'm being a complete and total douchebag, but I swear it's a legit question.

That really....doesn't help at all.

[It's a nice picture though. Huh. The real deal is much better, but he's not going to think about that.]

I wasn't aware that you were an expert on inkblots.

You can ask a question, I can't promise I'll answer it.

Welp. I tried.

Didn't you know I'm an inkblotologist?

Alright, so the question is... How is it that I've probably had sex with like. God, I don't even know. Definitely over a hundred people. And yet I only have two kids that are actually from my balls?

[There was probably a better way to phrase the last part.]

But then there's you, who doesn't really seem to have a whole bunch of sex. And you have four. I just don't get it.

Edited 2012-10-03 09:58 (UTC)

Eight ♒

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