[The tall boy made a beeline for Karkat, leaning his hip against the table as he pulls up. He sifts his long fingers gently through the Gryffindor's thick shag of hair, not quite sure if the other boy will allow it in the library, but willing to risk getting snapped at.]
[There's a mumbled 'hey' somewhere between his arms, but Karkat makes no move to shove the other's hand off of his head, or snap at him. He's feeling too emotionally drained after talking to Maka, doesn't even have enough strength to snap. He tilts his head so he can look at the Slytherin out the corner of his eye without moving much.]
[Gamzee doesn't even much think about it - when he sees the smaller boy so tired looking, not even looking up much, he hooks a chair with one long leg, tugging it over with a scraping sound that earns him a dirty look or two. He shoves the chair right up next to Karkat's and drops down into it.
Then he leans forward and folds his entire body over the other boy, long arms going around him, cheek resting against the nape of Karkat's neck. He doesn't say anything, just stays there, curled protectively around his friend.]
[His face twitches with a wince at the scraping sound but other than that he doesn't move much. He just tries to bury his head further into his arms when he feels Gamzee wrap around him, instead he draws himself in further, saying nothing, just letting the other boy hold him. He doesn't care much about what it might look like.]
[It's not the world's most comfortable position, but Gamzee would probably stay like this for hours, if he needed to. So he just stays there, one hand over Karkat's arm and rubbing it soothingly, the other stroking his hair. He's not sure why Karkat is so upset about this - he's pretty sure Jade actually like his little friend a lot - but he is, and the Slytherin isn't the type to interrogate. That's more the Gryffindor's style: what's wrong, how do we fix it? Maybe that's why Karkat's so good at advice for other people, but not himself.
After a few moments, though, Gamzee starts up a very soft, rhythmic sort of wordless singing or humming, nothing anyone but Karkat can hear. It's something he picked up when he was very, very young, when his mother would leave him along for sometimes a whole day, with nothing but a magically replenishing milk bottle, or later a cereal bowl. He used to talk and sing to himself to keep himself company, and the soft, gentle sound is something he associates with reassurance and calm.]
[Karkat reaches up slightly to rub at one eye after a while. He's heard Gamzee sing before so it's not that surprising when the other boy starts humming. He doesn't do much at all aside from sit there with a Slytherin hanging off his back, but when he does speak, he sounds as tired as he looks.]
[That's another convenient trait of Gamzee's - he really doesn't judge much. He doesn't argue, either - there's no rushing in to argue that, no, he isn't, Karkat's perfectly fine and normal. If the Gryffindor says he's fucked up, then, okay, he's fucked up.]
[He finally leans way from the table and back into the other's arms, running a hand through his hair before he speaks again, tilting his head back against Gamzee's chest to look up at the other.]
Why do I try so hard, Gam? It's not like anyone actually takes my advice seriously. Hell I can't even take my own advice and make fucking use of it.
It's important to you, ain't it? [Gamzee asks, looking down at the other boy.] I mean, this shit really matters to you, right? Ain't that why you be all up and working so hard at it?
Well...yeah it matters to me. [He draws his legs up to his chest, setting his feet on the edge of his chair before leaning forward into them.] But Maka's right. Life's not a fucking romcom so I shouldn't be trying so fucking hard to make it like one.
I dunno. I guess I just don't think it's some bad thing to want people to be happy and find love and all that shit. And try and help 'em do it. That ain't be all like in movie land, that shit be real. Love, I mean.
[kisses the top of Karkat's head with a faint smile]
[raises an eyebrow] I motherfuckin' guess? I mean, you have yourself some pretty sweet ass friends, you ain't failing or getting kicked off of nothing, and ain't nobody dying around you, right? I mean, if you're judging whatever the fuck this fail is on by sometimes a sister getting pissed at you, pretty sure that's motherfuckin' life, bro. You got prospects, and that's more than a lot of motherfuckers can say.
[Sometimes he has trouble deciphering what the other boy says, and what he said was really a callback to the mini feelings jam they had near the lake when it was frozen over. Still, he purses his lips together a bit, tilting his head down.]
[Gamzees brows draw down, and he loops his arms tighter around the other boy.] I know you ain't all meaning to spit in the face of everyone who calls themselves your friend. Because I know you're a motherfuckin' stand up dude.
[He loosens a hand for long enough to tilt Karkat's chin up to look at him.] But it's kinda hard to take when you're talking like all these motherfuckin' friendships ain't shit, because you're such a fuck-up. Is a brother gonna have to get all frontwise at you? Because I'm down with the salty rudeness, if that's what it takes to get you to figure out you ain't the motherfuckin' asshole of the universe.
[He lets Gamzee move his head, looking up at the other boy with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Maybe he was sulking a bit about things that hadn't happened yet, but that was his coping mechanism. He glances away from the taller Slytherin, lips setting themselves into a thin line.]
Maybe I'm being a fucking retard. I'm worrying about shit that hasn't even happened.
Yeah, you kinda are. [Agrees, frankly, but gently.] And ain't shit all gonna happen unless you tell this sweet chica you like her. And I mean the good shit. Damn, brother, is it really better to stay all quiet like and for sure get nothin', watching other dudes mack on your lady, then actually say some upfront words to her face that she probably actually wants to hear?
[Karkat pauses, thinking about what Eridan said about trying to get her attention. Frankly he thought there was no way in hell Jade would date someone like him, but there was every possibility she might.]
You're right. I wouldn't forgive myself, and I'd just bury myself in a deeper hole.
Ex-motherfuckin'-actly. [leans forward to press his forehead to Karkat's] See, all you gotta do is tell her you all up and got motherfuckin' feelings for her and then take her out and do your romance thing, and you'll get all the sloppy make-outs, brother. Like the miracle of kisses all over the motherfuckin' place.
[ ... man, Gamzee wishes it had worked like that for him.]
[He glanced up at the other when he pressed their foreheads together, eyes a bit tired and weary with everything that had happened lately.]
I don't think we'll be doing sloppy makeouts until later. I...kind of want to wait until she's comfortable for that. [Karkat glances to the side.] That's kind of lame I know.
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Hey, motherfucker.
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Then he leans forward and folds his entire body over the other boy, long arms going around him, cheek resting against the nape of Karkat's neck. He doesn't say anything, just stays there, curled protectively around his friend.]
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After a few moments, though, Gamzee starts up a very soft, rhythmic sort of wordless singing or humming, nothing anyone but Karkat can hear. It's something he picked up when he was very, very young, when his mother would leave him along for sometimes a whole day, with nothing but a magically replenishing milk bottle, or later a cereal bowl. He used to talk and sing to himself to keep himself company, and the soft, gentle sound is something he associates with reassurance and calm.]
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I'm so fucked up.
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[That's another convenient trait of Gamzee's - he really doesn't judge much. He doesn't argue, either - there's no rushing in to argue that, no, he isn't, Karkat's perfectly fine and normal. If the Gryffindor says he's fucked up, then, okay, he's fucked up.]
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Why do I try so hard, Gam? It's not like anyone actually takes my advice seriously. Hell I can't even take my own advice and make fucking use of it.
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[kisses the top of Karkat's head with a faint smile]
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I guess. I've never been in a relationship though, so how the fuck do I know I'm not just screwing things up for everyone involved? Like I always do?
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[He gives a sigh.]
I always do.
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I guess so.
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[He loosens a hand for long enough to tilt Karkat's chin up to look at him.] But it's kinda hard to take when you're talking like all these motherfuckin' friendships ain't shit, because you're such a fuck-up. Is a brother gonna have to get all frontwise at you? Because I'm down with the salty rudeness, if that's what it takes to get you to figure out you ain't the motherfuckin' asshole of the universe.
whoops somehow I thought I'd replied to this
Maybe I'm being a fucking retard. I'm worrying about shit that hasn't even happened.
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You're right. I wouldn't forgive myself, and I'd just bury myself in a deeper hole.
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[ ... man, Gamzee wishes it had worked like that for him.]
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I don't think we'll be doing sloppy makeouts until later. I...kind of want to wait until she's comfortable for that. [Karkat glances to the side.] That's kind of lame I know.
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