Nine-Point-Five Smuppets; Text; Private to Murdoc

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well it's safe to say he's kinda nervous. It's been a shitty week and this is something he's wanted to do ever since right after his swimming lesson with Murdoc when he mentioned needing more than a kiss to win him. With all the shit that had interfered since then, it's been delayed too many times. A part of him is afraid that, given the aforementioned shitty week, Murdoc turning him down would only make it that much shittier. But... in the effort to turn it around and make it not shitty, he's decided to just take the risk. Because it has all of the potential to make him really goddamn happy.

Sad, too... But still. The potential for happiness is there.

But still again, he's really freaking nervous ugh.]

Attention. Attention.

Would one ~*Murdoc Donoghue*~ report to this entry ASAP.

Please and thank you.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

If you had any intention of bailing out, you wouldn't be using pet names, babe.

[wwistful]

Petnames can be condescending, pet.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I still don't believe you want to.

[But he is starting to worry...]

[wwistful]

Of course not. I'm not going to turn down a free meal. What kind of man would I be if I did?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh, okay. Everything suddenly makes sense now. You only agreed to go on a date with me because you wanted a sugar daddy.

[wwistful]

Absolutely not. I can support myself perfectly well. However, if I only have to entertain you for an evening for an expensive dinner I may as well take the chance.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Sugar Bro, then.

All the perks and then some of a sugar daddy, but younger, sexier, and with less risk of breaking a hip in bed, which I'm sure is a huge and constant risk for Hugh Heffner.

And we go out less often so you can still keep your pride by believing you're supporting yourself.

[wwistful]

Why bother with something so trivial as pride? With an offer like that, how could I ever refuse? Should I quit my job as a professor, then? Can't imagine I'll be needing it now that I'm mooching off a sprightly young lad such as yourself. It's all I've ever dreamed of.

I make no promises in regards to the safety of either of our hips.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well hot damn, now you're talking. I'll even personally draw up your letter of resignation if you want. Part of the job of a Sugar Bro is to eventually make you entirely dependent on me by doing everything for you. It's a lot like adult babies, but just kind of sexier.

Shit, maybe I wanna break both of them now.

[wwistful]

Oh, how tempting, and here I thought I'd be wearing myself out being pretty for you. I suppose that's totally unnecessary, isn't it! What a relief.

You'd have to try a lot harder than you did last time.

[plushaeusrumpified]

If you let me top next time, I'd have one hell of an easy time breaking them.

[wwistful]

I don't see that happening any time soon.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Honestly, after what happened, he is. not surprised by that at all.]

Then I guess I'll have to get creative when it comes to breaking your hips, won't I?

[Yeah, now he feels awkward.]

[wwistful]

You do realise that if you broke my hips you wouldn't be doing anything with them for a very long time?

[plushaeusrumpified]

You do realize this is all basically a euphemism for having wild and kinky sex, right?

[wwistful]

Of course I do. Sometimes I wonder if you do, though.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Honey, I invented sex euphemisms. I'm like the beginning and the end of sex. The alpha and omega of sexhood. I wrote the fucking sex bible. On the 7th day, I nearly destroyed the earth with my godly banging. Any sex joke or euphemism that exists today is all thanks to me.

True fact.

[wwistful]

I'm older than you, so I find that a little hard to believe, darling.

[plushaeusrumpified]

How do you know I'm not way older than you originally thought? You don't even know how old I am, do you? I could be a thousand year old vampire for all you know.

[wwistful]

I was an auror, Strider. I'd be doing a pretty poor job if I couldn't figure out that you're a vampire by now.

If I didn't know you had a fourteen year old son and daughter and that I've slept with you I'd say you're around thirteen. Mentally, anyway.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Or maybe you're just rusty, did you ever think about that?

If I didn't know any better I'd say you're a crotchety old man trapped in a hot young body.

Wait, I'm still skeptical on that.

[wwistful]

I am not rusty. I've hardly been retired for a year and you don't just forget things like that.

Skeptical on which part, exactly?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, yeah, you know I'm just kidding, man. I'm sure your vampire radar is better than anybody in this castle.

About whether or not you're a crotchety old man in a younger body.

[wwistful]

You flatter me so. You are, of course, correct.

I'm not going to argue that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Are there any vamps in here right now? Your sparkle senses tingling at all?

If that's the case, how old are you mentally?