Nine-Point-Five Smuppets; Text; Private to Murdoc

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well it's safe to say he's kinda nervous. It's been a shitty week and this is something he's wanted to do ever since right after his swimming lesson with Murdoc when he mentioned needing more than a kiss to win him. With all the shit that had interfered since then, it's been delayed too many times. A part of him is afraid that, given the aforementioned shitty week, Murdoc turning him down would only make it that much shittier. But... in the effort to turn it around and make it not shitty, he's decided to just take the risk. Because it has all of the potential to make him really goddamn happy.

Sad, too... But still. The potential for happiness is there.

But still again, he's really freaking nervous ugh.]

Attention. Attention.

Would one ~*Murdoc Donoghue*~ report to this entry ASAP.

Please and thank you.

Comments

[wwistful]

[Inksplatters. What the hell are those tildes.]

Is something wrong?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Inkblots.

Because suddenly more nervous.]

Hi.

[wwistful]

Hello, Dirk.

[plushaeusrumpified]

What'cha up to?

[wwistful]

I was taking a break from grading papers to read through my journal, then I saw my name in obnoxiously large font and pressumed someone might have something to tell me.

What are you doing?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh.

Well I was just afraid you might miss it or something what with all the teen drama and nightblogging the castle has to offer. I almost made it bigger.

I debated on sparkles.

And I'm just... sitting here. Staring at the journal. Writing letters that form words.

To you.

[wwistful]

Awfully clever of you, though I'm glad you decided to leave out the sparkles this time.

Fascinating, Dirk. I would never have guessed that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Have you got something against sparkles, man? Edward Cullen would be so sad to hear that.

Yes. Yes it is. It's very fascinating.

[He's.

having second thoughts. This was a stupid idea and he has no idea how to even bring it up. He hasn't done anything like this in... jesus christ he doesn't even know.

It's one thing to ask somebody for sex. It's another to ask them out.]

[wwistful]

No, I just think they're obnoxious. Is he a friend of yours or something?

Did you have something you wanted to ask me?

[plushaeusrumpified]

... Nevermind.

[Inkblots. Inkblots forever.

What does he saaaay.]

Uh...

Yeah.

How're your math skills?

[wwistful]

Now I do mind.

They're adequate. Why?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Okay then I have a math problem for you to figure out.

[Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.]

You + Me + Hogsmeade = ?

[wwistful]

[Ink splatters all up in this bitch.]

I'm sorry, what?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Fucks into infinity and never returns.

This was a bad idea. This was a seriously bad idea and yeah now he regrets ever doing it. Fuck.

Except maybe Murdoc just really didn't understand? He could at least give him the benefit of the doubt before ollieing out and hating himself. But that seemed like a really easy way out and one he was tempting like hell to do.]

A... Uh.

I dunno, man.

I've just been thinking a lot. About this, I mean. You said before it'd take more than a kiss to win you.

And I mean I know we've done more than that by now, but...I wanna do this right.

So.

A date. That's the answer to the math problem.

A date.

[Jesus fucking christ he feels so stupid and rambly and he really does wish that he could take it all back and just. Pretend this never happened.]

[wwistful]

[Murdoc certainly didn't understand. Mostly because he wasn't expecting to be asked out like this, not with all the shit that's been going on.

His first thought is, of course, denial. Then, embarrassment. Then annoyance (what kind of a dumb what to ask is that!?) and finally, acceptance and a very brief flutter of excitement.

Stop that. Stopitstopitstopit. This is NOT professional and it certainly isn't appropriate.

He will say no. Write no. C'mon, say it.

Ugh. Ink splatters.]

I don't remember that from arithmancy.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh geez he isn't even sure what to say to that. It's not a no. It's definitely not a no. But he's way too afraid to actually get his hopes up over it. He's also too nervous to really come up with a snappy response. Mostly he just feels like anything he could say would be awkward as fuck.

More than it... already is.]

I think only like, one page of the textbook even covers it. It's pretty obscure.

[wwistful]

[Despite himself, he really can't make himself say no. Not now, anyway. He was trying to tell himself it's because Dirk is in a bad place and needs a hand but really he just. Wants to do this. He hasn't gone out in years, the idea is far too inviting to pass up.

Although, was it risky? Is it too soon? He wants to say yes, but..]

Are you sure about this?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well that is definitely not a no. That definitely looks like it's leaning towards a yes. Or maybe he's just reading it the wrong way. Either way though, he can't help but feel encouraged by that response.]

I'm abso-fucking=lutely positive.

Never been more sure of anything in my life.

[wwistful]

Alright then. I wouldn't mind it.

[Which is to say jdksdfjsd yes please I'd love to.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh holy shit.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Seriously? Is that a thing he just said yes to? Bro really can't believe it. He'd... really expected Murdoc to say no. But... He said yes. He fucking said yes. He's happier than he has been in weeks.]

Saturday sound good then?

[There's something slightly different about his handwriting. It isn't nearly as neat as it usually is, because he's practically shaking with happy excitement.]

[wwistful]

[He's raising an eyebrow at that, smothering a chuckle even though he's by himself at the moment.]

It's fine. We'll have to be subtle about being out together, though.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[At first he's a little...

Hurt? At that statement. Because up until now he hasn't been thinking about the right or the wrong or the inappropriateness of the request. So at first he is a little upset. Because he automatically assumes Murdoc is ashamed of him or something. Wants to keep him a huge secret.

But then the irrational hurt goes away and logic comes back to him. He berates himself for that stupid little moment. Of course they need to be subtle. Because... there are a lot of reasons why they need to hide this, now that he's thinking about it. Because of Snow. Because of Dave and Dirk. Because of Sybille. So many different reasons.

He really hates every single one of those reasons. He hates having to hide. He hates that it's so goddamn... forbidden. Why did everything have to be so difficult? He hadn't even been considering any of these things when he asked. He was just caught up in his own selfish wants. But... Even with all of that in mind, he can't bring himself to regret asking. Because he got the answer he wanted and that still makes him really happy.]

Yeah, no problem. You think I'd wear a t-shirt saying 'I'm dating Murdoc Donoghu'? You're silly.

With that said though, be sure to wear something nice.

Even if we're being subtle, I ain't half-assing this.

[wwistful]

[It's something he really didn't want to state, but the unfortunate fact of it is they said they wouldn't see each other and here they are. Stipulations had to be placed to ensure the two of them wouldn't be caught in some painfully obvious situation together.

Of course, Murdoc's encounter with Snow earlier today had put him on an even higher alert. He'd already felt what it's like to risk everything once this term, it's starting to become a feeling he's used to working around. For such a negative guy, he's almost positive that the outcome will be fine.

Why else would he put so much on the line for one girl and one guy?]

I never said you would. I was just reminding you to be careful. I'm not silly.

Please. You're asking me to dress nicely Mr.White Shirt Black pants? You have a lot of nerve.

Is that so? I'm swooning.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[In the end, after everything that's happened, that just. Isn't something Bro can keep to. The whole 'not seeing each other' thing. He thought he'd be able to. He really did. He thought having one night with Murdoc would be enough, but. He couldn't stay away. And Murdoc wasn't pushing him away, so it meant he just kept trying. It all came down to Bro being really damn selfish.]

You're the silliest.

...Point made, touche, etc. But you know what? I'll prove you wrong. I'll wear something really goddamn fancy. And guess what? I'll leave the goddamn shades at the castle too. That'll show you.

You better be.

[wwistful]

[It would be very easy to blame the entire thing on Dirk, but it would also be a huge, horrible mess of a lie. He's had several opportunities to turn the other man down or push him away, but he's pointedly ignored every single one of them.

He's gotten this far and really, he's never gotten to this point before. Everything is a shambles of him throwing himself into Dirk's arms and then pushing him away frantically.

For once, it's not a case of not knowing what he wants but a case of not being able to have what he wants. Which has proven to be a hell of a lot more frustrating.]

Stop that.

How fancy is fancy? I don't want to be overdressed if you're just going to show up in a tie.

Really? So you'll be shadeless all night? For me?