First Edition

[angelfruitcake]

It seems the powers that be have quite the esoteric sense of humour. I arrive to take up my new duties and a large portion of the student body has been rendered incapable of reading anything more challenging than the most simplified versions of "Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump".

In any case, greetings, Hogwarts. My name is Ezra Fell. Headmaster Dumbledore has requested I take up the mantle as Librarian of this school, as apparently my predecessor was found lacking in some way. Some of you may be familiar with the bookshop I run in Soho down in London; it's a popular location for youngsters to duck into to try to pluck up the courage to try to sneak into some of the more... illicit establishments in the area.

[VOICE]

Er, I might as well speak this part as some of the potentially interested parties may not be able to read at this juncture. If any of the small children would like to see a presentation of Muggle sleight-of-hand "magic", I am something of an enthusiast and would be pleased to put on a show.

[/VOICE]

Comments

[mysterytwin]

Welcome to Hogwarts, sir.

[angelfruitcake]

Why, thank you, young man. You must have excellent manners to take a moment out of all the excitement for a nice greeting.

[mysterytwin]

Well I figure I should since the library's pretty much my second dorm or something.

My name's Dipper Pines. I'm a second year Ravenclaw.

[angelfruitcake]

Then it's a pleasure to meet you, young Mr. Pines. Feel free to continue treating the library as a second home, though do please restrict such matters as changing your clothes to your dorm room.

I was a Ravenclaw myself, back in the day. It's rather nostalgic being back here, having spent the majority of my time in school in the library as well.

[mysterytwin]

Eheh, well I wouldn't go that far. And as much as I'd like to I was banned bar schoolwork. I'm not sure whether that's still in place now that Professor Snow's not teaching anymore.

Is that what made you decide to become a librarian?

[angelfruitcake]

Banned from schoolwork? How dreadfully counter-intuitive. This is a place of learning, after all. It's absurd. Well, rest assured, if that punishment is still in place, I will weigh in and see that it is revoked.

I've always been fascinated by books, well before I entered Hogwarts. I'm rather proud to say that my family has long possessed one of the largest personal collections of magical and esoteric books in Britain, and now that it is in my care, I've only added to it.

[mysterytwin]

You will? Thank you, sir.

Wow. I'd really like to see that someday. I mean if that'd be possible.

[angelfruitcake]

I'm afraid my personal library may be a bit too peculiar a location for a field trip.

That said, my shop is open to the public, and I keep many additional copies of books I already own there. As well as some of the ones that are so enchanted as to not get on very well with others. Solitary confinement, as it were.

If you visit the shop, I promise to be cordial as long as you don't attempt anything foolish like trying to purchase one.