sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Filtered from teachers and any particularly detention-happy prefects]

[Inkblots. Oh God, inkblots, inkblots everywhere. And the following is scribbled hastily.]

Just woke up to quite a surprise and after nearly being shocked into having a damn heart attack, my biggest question is -

WHO THE HELL TAUGHT SHERLOCK HOW TO GET INTO HUFFLEPUFF?!

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C'mon, don't act surprised. We both know there are plenty of people in this school who'd jump to conclusions and assume I'm just as bad a mother hen when it comes to you.

What can I say? Birds of a feather, right?

[He nudges Sherlock in the ribs and looks entirely too proud of that wretched pun.]

[Chuckles]

John, that was horrendous. Never do that again. England may fall from the devastation of your terrible puns.

He told you-... Of course. Of course he wouldn't keep that to himself, no. Please tell me he told you the context, because it makes sense when you know what was going on.

... oh. Really? How long had you, uh... thought about doing that? Beyond it being something you'd do for giggles, I mean. After all, you always seemed to give the impression that you were into girls as well.

[John gives a full laugh at that.]

Oh, come off it. It wasn't that bad. I'm capable of much worse, I'm sure.

I'm apt to believe you. Can't say I'm proud.

[Though he can't keep from smiling either.]

Suppose you had to have a flaw somewhere.

We were trading Christmas stories. Oh, there was context alright, lots of context.

Well technically it's the second time I kissed him, because I sort of kissed him when he was a girl, then nearly again but I didn't that time.

But until New Years eve when he and the others were down. I was pretty sure I was into girls too.

Okay, now I know you're just being you. It was to scandalize the snotty portraits of his dusty, prejudiced relatives. ... also, he actually started it, and I just upped the ante.

That's an awful lot of times for you to snog or nearly snog one of your roommates while hassling Sherlock and I for far less. And, so... what, when you thought you liked girls, were you just being in denial?

Hm, well, I could always weaponize them. Use them against our enemies. Pun-ish them, if you will.

[John waves his hand dismissively.]

Ah, come on, I've got loads of flaws beyond my sense of humor.

Yeah, I am being me, but he did tell me everything. Surprisingly we're fairly honest with each other... Well, mostly. But what a daring way to up the ante, don't you think.

Yeah, but Sherlock doesn't really do emotions, so seeing them means harassment, besides, we have an agreement, or a prank war, something like that anyway.

Which reminds me, I need you to let him think you have Victor.

No, I liked girls, and I wanted to go a great many things to them, it's just well. You know it's Bruce.

[Sherlock puts his hand over his eyes at a new bad pun. Oh, god, John is perfect.

And he hasn't the sense not to say so.]

John, given most parameters that human beings are judged based on, you're practically perfect.

It just popped in my head as something that would really set off those awful paintings, and it worked brilliantly. Maybe daring, but it got the job done.

I guess I might see where you're coming from, at least. Do you still like girls and you just think Bruce is more important... or what?

And what did you do with Victor?

[John feels a warm flush creep around his collar at the insistent praise. He's strangely flattered, and he feels a bit self-conscious of it.]

Heh, you say that like it's a universal system or something, and it just doesn't work like that. You know - one man's trash, another man's treasure and all that. We get on well, so it makes sense to see the other in a flattering light, I suppose.

Oh it would have gotten something done alright.

You know I don't think I've thought about it since New Years Day. I mean, it's not like I've ever gotten even half as far as it seems you have. Though that could be because not many people take a 14 year old seriously.

Technically I've done nothing, he's just managed to find himself in Herbert's trunk. But you have to imply you have.

I do account for those variables.

The seven most agreed upon virtues are humility, kindness, patience, diligence, charity, tempernce and chastity. You exhibit all of these but one and given your gender and current social norms, your perfectly average ventures into physical engagements would generally be commended as well. Tony thinks of you as his new hero, in fact. Taking chastity to mean more a purity of heart instead of body, then you pass all seven with hardly a word edgewise. You're resourceful and not in the least bit stupid--at least not above or beyond the normal deviations--and your moral compas is more reliable than an atomic clock.

Even for those of a darker disposition, your loyalty and strength of will are commendable. I can think of very few people who, having met you, would come away thinking you a waste of space or otherwise unnessessary accompanyment to the human race. There's a reason why so many young women find you attractive. Looks aside and on a purely biological level, you are an ideal mate who would not only be progenitor of equally laudable offspring but provide for a family duely raised well with a focus on affection.

There is room for improvement, of course, but by far and large there is less need for it in you than in almost any other human being I've encountered.

[John is completely floored by the long, mostly extremely flattering breakdown of his character. The flush around his neck from the earlier compliment charges forth, reddening his cheeks and ears. There it is again, that odd feeling he's had around Sherlock sometimes, though as of late it's become more and more frequent. He doesn't want to think about the implications too hard, especially since the feeling is rather familiar. He's dated and had enough steady girlfriends to know about that sort of feeling, after all.

He clears his throat, hoping it will clear his head.]

Uh... thanks. I don't really know what to say to, er, to all that. Besides the thanks, I mean.

I know you don't always have the most favorable opinions on... well, most everybody... so hearing that is, er, good. Very good. Pretty great, if I'm being completely honest.

If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother myself with the association. I do have better things to do. When it comes to other people.

[He notices the blushing and stores it later analysis. Normal reaction to being complimented. But.. well, just for personal reflection.]

That's the thing, though. Maybe if you took yourself a bit more seriously, you'd have an easier time of all that. I'd already had a fair share of decent experience by the time I was a couple of months shy of 15.

You know there's a giant, obvious hole in that plan, right? Sherlock usually keeps Victor in your dorm, doesn't he? Unlike Sherlock, I've never broken into a different house, so how could I have anything to do with that?

[Still a bit flustered, John laughs.]

Well, glad I pass muster. You know, in a way, I think I can say the same to you - though perhaps not as dramatically. Last year, when I was keeping to myself, nobody else was able to snap me out of it. People tried, but... you're the one who managed it, in the end.

Most people want the people they know to get better because they personally preferred them the way the used to be. I didn't know you. I'm sure that helps.

[John purses his lips in thought, considering.]

So you think it's because I didn't feel any pressure or expectations to just slip back to the way I was before?

That might be part of it, I admit. But people who didn't really know me still noticed and sometimes tried to help, but that didn't go too well either.

Either way, it's in the past. And the results are replicable. I cure you. I consider that a very fine sort of magic to possess.

What makes you think I don't take myself seriously? I'm serious, if I wasn't then I wouldn't be in sixth year right now, I'd be in fourth with everyone else by age.

What kind of experience?

Okay, you're a muggle born right? You know those red lumpy things for dogs, that you put food in, and the dog will just chew it for hours to get the thing in it? This is the red lumpy thing. Hiding it all over the tower is getting too easy for him to find, but if he thinks it's out side of the tower, he'll use his deductions to find it. You can let on that I had something to do with it.

There's a difference between being intelligent and being sensible. Getting bumped ahead a few grades doesn't automatically bump you up the maturity ladder at the same time.

I've told Sherlock about a bit of it, though not all and I haven't said much about it lately. But if the fact that he told what happened at his manor is anything to go by, surely he's already passed some of the stories onto you.

... only you would compare a skull to a chew-toy. Fine, I'll go along with it. I'm not the best liar, so no promises that it'll work out. And if he thinks I'm hiding it in my trunk and he gets it in his head to sneak into my bed curtains while I'm sleeping again, it'll definitely be your fault.

[John grins widely.]

Oh, I'll definitely side with you on that. I'd go so far as to call it the best magic, but what can I say? I'm biased.

Which reminds me. This summer I would like to come to your place for a short time. Just to sort your family out. Have they met many wizards?

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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