sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Sherlock puts his hand over his eyes at a new bad pun. Oh, god, John is perfect.

And he hasn't the sense not to say so.]

John, given most parameters that human beings are judged based on, you're practically perfect.

[John feels a warm flush creep around his collar at the insistent praise. He's strangely flattered, and he feels a bit self-conscious of it.]

Heh, you say that like it's a universal system or something, and it just doesn't work like that. You know - one man's trash, another man's treasure and all that. We get on well, so it makes sense to see the other in a flattering light, I suppose.

I do account for those variables.

The seven most agreed upon virtues are humility, kindness, patience, diligence, charity, tempernce and chastity. You exhibit all of these but one and given your gender and current social norms, your perfectly average ventures into physical engagements would generally be commended as well. Tony thinks of you as his new hero, in fact. Taking chastity to mean more a purity of heart instead of body, then you pass all seven with hardly a word edgewise. You're resourceful and not in the least bit stupid--at least not above or beyond the normal deviations--and your moral compas is more reliable than an atomic clock.

Even for those of a darker disposition, your loyalty and strength of will are commendable. I can think of very few people who, having met you, would come away thinking you a waste of space or otherwise unnessessary accompanyment to the human race. There's a reason why so many young women find you attractive. Looks aside and on a purely biological level, you are an ideal mate who would not only be progenitor of equally laudable offspring but provide for a family duely raised well with a focus on affection.

There is room for improvement, of course, but by far and large there is less need for it in you than in almost any other human being I've encountered.

[John is completely floored by the long, mostly extremely flattering breakdown of his character. The flush around his neck from the earlier compliment charges forth, reddening his cheeks and ears. There it is again, that odd feeling he's had around Sherlock sometimes, though as of late it's become more and more frequent. He doesn't want to think about the implications too hard, especially since the feeling is rather familiar. He's dated and had enough steady girlfriends to know about that sort of feeling, after all.

He clears his throat, hoping it will clear his head.]

Uh... thanks. I don't really know what to say to, er, to all that. Besides the thanks, I mean.

I know you don't always have the most favorable opinions on... well, most everybody... so hearing that is, er, good. Very good. Pretty great, if I'm being completely honest.

If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother myself with the association. I do have better things to do. When it comes to other people.

[He notices the blushing and stores it later analysis. Normal reaction to being complimented. But.. well, just for personal reflection.]

[Still a bit flustered, John laughs.]

Well, glad I pass muster. You know, in a way, I think I can say the same to you - though perhaps not as dramatically. Last year, when I was keeping to myself, nobody else was able to snap me out of it. People tried, but... you're the one who managed it, in the end.

Most people want the people they know to get better because they personally preferred them the way the used to be. I didn't know you. I'm sure that helps.

[John purses his lips in thought, considering.]

So you think it's because I didn't feel any pressure or expectations to just slip back to the way I was before?

That might be part of it, I admit. But people who didn't really know me still noticed and sometimes tried to help, but that didn't go too well either.

Either way, it's in the past. And the results are replicable. I cure you. I consider that a very fine sort of magic to possess.

[John grins widely.]

Oh, I'll definitely side with you on that. I'd go so far as to call it the best magic, but what can I say? I'm biased.

Which reminds me. This summer I would like to come to your place for a short time. Just to sort your family out. Have they met many wizards?

Well... no, they haven't. There was the professor who came with the invitation letter, and they didn't really know what to make of Diagon Alley the one time we all went together before I started going on my own. But that's it. You're welcome to visit. Honestly, whatever you do, I'm not sure how much it'll change their opinion.

[He pauses for a second and something seems to dawn on him.]

This summer, huh? Harry and Clara's ceremony is scheduled right around when school lets out. Unless they have to push it back. ... again.

[Sherlock smirks. He's no longer under the trace so, really, by whatever means nessessary, he's sure he can fix John's little family issue.]

What ceremony?

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention it. My sister's getting married.

Oh. Well, I'll be sure to avoid that particular time of the holiday, then. We'll coordinate something.

Well... honestly, if I don't manage to get a date for the thing, I suppose wouldn't mind if you were my guest for it. It's not like the thing's going to be formal, anyway. And if I'm going to be driven mad at this thing, which is practically a given, it might as well be your brand of entertaining madness.

So you want me to be your fallback?

I... suppose that's doable. Might require a few enchantments afterward but nothing I can't study up on now to save face later.

It does sound pretty ridiculous when you put it that way. But I suppose... yeah, technically.

And enchantments? What d'you mean? If you think we'd be needing to Obliviate people left and right, I was hoping that wouldn't be necessary. [He sighs.] Though at least I'll be out from under the Trace by then and can lend a hand if it comes to it.

Obliviate was rather the spell I had in mind.

[He can't help but smile. John has become quite good at reading into his intentions.]

Only if nessessary, of course. I'm sure you'll find a proper date by then but, should all else fail, I will be prepared.

Yeah, well, as much as I am an open book in front of all your deductive skills, you can be pretty easy to read yourself, sometimes. Mostly when it comes to situations involving potential mischief around people you might find boring.

Still, thanks again for being willing to come along if it comes to it. I hope to have an actual date for it, but if not, at least you'd be sure to come up with inventive ways to help me dodge the inevitable questions from extended family about what I'm getting up to in school.

Just don't think this means I have nothing better to do than wait around to see if I'm needed. Though as far as dodging inevitable questions, one can only hope your family is better about it than mine.

Oh, no, don't worry about that. If something comes up for you and I don't have a date for whatever reason, I'll figure something out.

But as for the misunderstanding thing, uh... I wouldn't count on it. Might be worse, actually, given the type of wedding. Unfortunately, I think a lot of "John, you too?" and "But you've had girlfriends..." might come up.

Well, we are wizards. I could always polyjuice myself into an acceptable date.

[John actually jolts and shudders at that.]

Oh GOD, no. No, no... just. I mean, I guess I'm almost weirdly flattered you'd be willing to go that far for the ruse, but, uh... no. Please don't. I don't think a proper word's been invented yet for how overwhelmingly weird and awkward that would be.

Interesting that you'd rather the awkward of having people question your male "plus one" than avoid public inquiry with a gendered swapped date.

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