sortinghat_rp | One Zombie; Voice

Guys! Hey guys! Everybody listen up, cuz I got some news! And lots of it!

So first up I tried out for Quiddy and I made the team! You're lookin' at Hufflepuff's new Beater! That's right, the guns are ready to hit all them bludgers reall good. Y'all should all be afraid, cuz I've been told I got a mean hit!

And now second, and man this is a real doozy, but I was made a prefect! I was sure it must'a been a mistake, so I went an' asked Dumbledore, but guess what! It ain't a mistake! How cool is that? Now I can give y'all detention if you act up and shit- I mean crap. See! Ya ain't supposed to cuss.

So... well. I guess I get detention now. Detention, Ellis! Okay, sir...

[There's a long pause, almost as if he's finished speaking, and then he comes back onto the journals sounding as enthusiastic as ever.]

Oh! Oh, Nick! Ya wanna be my egg partner? I bet we'd make the best darn egg parents in the entire school! Did I ever tell ya 'bout this one time, Keith thought it'd be a good idea if we tried to raise a flour baby? Maaan, we was doin' so well and then-

[He cuts off and then you can hear him murmuring something in a slightly annoyed and disgusted voice.]

An owl just pooped on my shoulder...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Really? Because you're just listing off similarities between you and eggs, Ellis. I never knew you had so much in common.

No.

Nope.
No.

[He actually leaves and comes back later.]

Are you done?

... I was done a while ago, man. Are ya tellin' me you didn't hear me? Did this thing mess up? Shit... Here, lemme tell ya again.

[And he launches back into the story from the beginning.]

[Oh my god, he can probably HEAR Nick simmering with rage over the journals. He doesn't care, he really doesn't care.]

I'm going to stop you right there, Ellis. [He doesn't care if he's cutting right in the middle either!!!] It's rally important that you know that I don't give a tiny rat's ass about any of the crap you're talking.

[What? Nope. Can't hear you over the sound of his own voice.]

And then--

Oh. Well okay, if you're sure... But man, we need t'get you some more rats asses so you can give 'em away! 'cuz my stories are awesome and you should care about 'em.

Your stories are bullshit and if anyone wanted to waste the goddamn hour it takes to listen to them they'd be able to point out all the huge plotholes in them.

I will never give a crap. Ever.

What'cha mean plotholes? All my stories are solid as a brick house!

A brick house that'd topple on a breezy day.

Naaaw. It'd take hurricane force winds to even think about makin' my house fall! Maybe you just ain't payin' attention hard enough!

That would require listening to them in the first place. I don't even have to listen to know you're talking crap.

One Zombie; Voice

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