14 Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

So. I'm not sure exactly how this happened, but somehow Dumbledore decided that I'm suitable for the position of HoH for Gryffindor.

[He's... quite honestly pretty damn shocked by this. He never expected to be entrusted with such a huge responsibility, and... Well. He considers it a huge honor. Gryffindor is important to him, even if it's for stupid reasons. Even if he had to argue in order to get put in Gryffindor, back when he was in school. But even more than the simply fact he values Gryffindor traits, the simple act of being given so much responsibility means a lot to him, because it shows that Dumbledore has seen how much he's changed. He's been trying to do better lately, and it honestly feels like all of his effort has paid off. He's determined to not let him down.]

So yeah, I guess that's... that. I'm not really sure what to say, but I have to say; it's an honor. I'm going to take this position seriously, so anyone who thinks this means Gryffindor is going to be able to slack off has another thing coming to them.

But with that said, you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask, got it? I was given this for a reason, which means you can trust me with stuff. I'm here for you guys. In fact, I might as well go ahead and say you're all part of the Strider family now, now that I'm the Head of House. Who knows, maybe I'll even hand out shades.

[The next bit is filtered away from Murdoc.]

By the way, tomorrow ain't just V-day. It's also Professor Donoghue's birthday, so be sure to wish him a happy birthday. Maybe give him an apple or somethin'. Whatever floats your boat.

You're also all invited to my office for a surprise party tomorrow, around 8 PM. If you guys don't come, I'm gonna be real disappointed.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, I'm sure Dumbledore had a really tough time picking you over me. Maybe next year?

You might have to give up all the booze though. Can you really handle that?

[savviest]

I'm not even a Gryffindor, so I should bloody well hope he wouldn't choose me. I assure you that is my only fallback as a head of house.

I can quit any time I want, lad. Or I'll learn to be sneakier.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You aren't? Oh, but you've always struck me as so brave. You're like one of the most Gryffindor-ish people I know.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that so I'm not in possession of sensitive info in the event they question me about your booze. I'd hate to rat you out if it came down to it.

[savviest]

Brave, perhaps! But cunning. Perhaps so cunning you had no idea I was standing behind you with a knife. Such is the Slytherin way.

No worries, mate. I'll just give em a nip from my flask and it'll all blow over.

[plushaeusrumpified]

For a second there, you almost had me. I nearly looked. But honestly it's you who has no idea that I'm behind you holding a smuppet.

And what the hell do you keep in that flask of yours anyway?

[savviest]

I have no idea what that is? Should I be worried? I'll only look if I should be worried by it.

To answer that, I would have to know myself.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well it depends on your heterosexuality levels, I guess.

I feel as if I should be concerned and vaguely like I really ought to report you. I'm so conflicted right now.

[savviest]

I wasn't aware it was something that could be levelled.

Sorry, mate. You aren't my type. I'll give you a minute to leave dejectedly.

If I was in front of you, I'd be scoffing at you. It isn't booze I promise you. Still probably not all that child friendly.

[It's a very well fermented fruit juice, okay!!]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Despite the fact he has a loving boyfriend and couldn't be happier, Bro still can't help the twinge of annoyance when someone rejects him or says that he isn't their type. That is just the bullshittiest thing he could ever hear. Gosh.]

It's totally something that could be leveled. And I'm totally your type, you're just hardcore in denial.

Oh really? Well I totally believe you, then. I'll never question the contents of your flask again. I have seen the light and it has told me you couldn't be any saintlier. Sorry for ever doubting you.

But no really what is it?

[savviest]

[Sorry Bro. You got spunk, but he's old and weird and needs people old and weird too.]

I wasn't aware you were on the look out for fifty year old beardy men with a devil may care attitude.

If you want to know, you can have a nip and see for yourself. I'm not going to waste letters justifying it to your lovelorn self.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well I'm not on the look for anyone. But if I WERE, then that'd be right up my alley. Sounds exciting and I like exciting.

That sounds really dangerous. And not even the good kind of dangerous; the stupid kind of dangerous that just makes you go 'what the hell was I thinking' after it's all said and done with. So I think I'll pass, I ain't that curious.

[savviest]

Well maybe people who aren't on the look out aren't on my list of people to look out for. Eh, love? Why's it bother you so much?

Suit yourself. More for me!

[plushaeusrumpified]

That's stupid. Going after taken people is thrilling. Trust me, I should know. The current love of my life was technically taken before I got my dirty little hands into him. Oh, the joys of being a home wrecker.
It doesn't bother me, by the way. I'm just saying.

[savviest]

Really? Because the way you unloaded all that out of nowhere seems to imply something else, lad. Guilty conscience?

Maybe you should have a sip anyway.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You know what? I'm starting to think a sip wouldn't be all that bad. Maybe I'll have all the sips. Yeah. It's the best idea I've ever had.

[savviest]

It certainly is, I'm almost positive you won't regret it after. So what say you?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Me says bring it on. But if I die, I swear to god I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life. Just so long as we're clear on that, yeah?

[savviest]

We're as clear as the crystals adorning the chandeliers, my lad. Not to worry, I'm sure I won't be around to haunt much longer should your supposed lover get his hands on me.