3rd ♋

[candycrabapple]

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SCHOOL?

WELL NOTHING, ULTIMATELY THIS PLACE IS A FESTERING VOID OF TEEN DRAMA AND BULLSHIT, SO IF I WAS BEING HONEST, I'D ONLY ACTUALLY LIKE THE CURRICULUM, BUT EVEN THEN THE LEVEL OF HOMEWORK PISSES ME OFF.

NO, NO. WHAT I *LOVE* ABOUT THIS SCHOOL, IS THAT IT MANAGES TO MAKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER SHITFEST OUT OF ONE OF THE MORE ENJOYABLE HOLIDAYS OF THE YEAR.
IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK TO WANT ONE HOLIDAY WHERE SOMETHING DOESN'T GO COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY TITS UP, WITH SNAKE EGGS THAT CAN OOZE LOVE POTION PHEROMONES ON NEARLY EVERYONE IN SCHOOL? BECAUSE I'M REALLY STARTING TO THINK I'M GETTING MY HOPES FAR TO UP FOR THIS CRAP AND ONCE AGAIN THEY COME SPIRALLING DOWN INTO EITHER NAUSEATING DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION TO SOME MATCH UPS THAT ARE TOO HORRIFYING TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE WHEN IS I WAS TO BE COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MIND HIGH.

NOTE TO TEACHERS: THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS PLACE, NEXT HOLIDAY I'M JUST NOT LEAVING MY BED, I'LL JUST SLEEP THE DAY AWAY.

Comments

[mo_cara]

WhAt LoVe PoTiOn?
I tHoUgHt We WeReN't AlLoWeD tO bE mAkInG tHoSe?

[candycrabapple]

DO YOU EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU, OR I DON'T KNOW, DUMBLEDORE'S LECTURE? SOME OF THE SNAKE EGGS ABSORBED SPILT LOVE POTION, YOU MIGHTY DILLHOLE.

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PULL THE CLOTH OUT OF YOUR EARS NOW AND AGAIN?

[mo_cara]

I wAs GeTtInG mY tHiNk On ElSeWiSe.
WoAh, ThAt MuSt HaVe BeEn LoOnEyBlOcK fOr PeOpLe WhAt

[Pause. Ink splatter.]

oh fuck

[candycrabapple]

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING FUCKING HOLY, PLEASE TELL PROTECTION WAS INVOLVED.

[Not that Karkat jumps to conclusions around Gamzee.]

[mo_cara]

AgAiNsT wHaT?

[Sorry, Karkat, Gamzee is way too distracted by the fact that the dude he likes and has liked for years, who finally hooked up with him, was only doing it because of magic snake egg love.]

[candycrabapple]

AGAINST YOU GIVING PEOPLE DROPSY OF THE GOD DAMN COCK.

SO, WAIT. YOU HAVEN'T HAD BEEN MAKING OBSCENELY BAD DECISIONS UNDER THE POTION?

[mo_cara]

It WeReN't Me ThAt
I oNlY
iT's MoThErFuCkIn HaRd To ExPlAiN

[candycrabapple]

COURTYARD. NOW.

[He closes the journal and heads out to the courtyard.]

[mo_cara]

[And not too long after, a gloomy Gamzee joins him, slouching, with his hands in his pockets.]

I think I fucked up real bad, best friend. [confesses immediately]

[candycrabapple]

[Crossing his arms, Karkat frowns at him.]

If only I could be fucking surprised. Seriously? When I hear people talking about fucking up, I think of you. Alright, so what did you do this time and does it even make it into the top five?

[mo_cara]

[briefly confused look] Uh ... maybe? I guess if it depends on personal top five fuckups or, like, in the whole motherfuckin' world.

I, uh ... I thought Tavros had a thing for me. [scratching the back of his neck, under his hair, and sighing] That he'd, I dunno, suddenly gotten into me even though he turned me down before. I guess it weren't to smart to think that, but he really acted like it, you know! And I was so motherfuckin' happy ...

[candycrabapple]

[He sighs as well.]

Not in the top five at all.

You know, for a guy who's always getting himself into the most supreme amount of trouble for illicit activities. You're more than quick enough to believe something without too much in the way of proof. You do know this, right?

I know that I would be suspicious of anyone who just suddenly started flirting with me or asking me out, that's for god damn sure.

[mo_cara]

Yeah, I know. [Gamzee looks down at his shoes.] I knew he couldn't be all liking me like that. He just said it like ... like he'd been thinking about it for awhile, like even before our little hissbro was getting his snout all out into the world. And I been liking him for so long ... man, Karkat.

[He looks up, dark eyes wide and worried.] What if he's all feeling gross and shit now and he never wants to be talking with me again ecause of what we done?

[candycrabapple]

[He rubs the back of his neck.]

Don't be so thick, it's Tavros. He's not capable of anything like that, door mats walk over him one his bravest days.

Ever though of, I don't know. Actually talking to him about what happened? And as sickeningly psychiatric as this is going to sound, talk about how you both felt about it? Because you know something, talking about things is probably the only way you're going to stop feeling like a bigger piece of shit than you normally do.

Not that I care that you've come crying to me about it because let's face it you're as about socially acceptable as a fart in a crowded room sometimes. So coming to me first is the smartest thing you could do.

But I'm telling you, the smartest thing you can do from here. Is talk to him.

[mo_cara]

I don't know. [hedges, brow furrowing] I mean .... you know, he always gets his pan up into like there ain't nothing wrong, he all keeps saying that, 'cause his pump biscuit is so motherfuckin' tender, he ain't wanting to trouble that water.

[candycrabapple]

Everyone has a tender heart, fuckwit. Tavros is just so bloody weak when it comes to anything assertive he always ends up the one being hurt because he gets swept up in people's bullshit.

But then, considering you're both incredible sacks of shit that can't really exist without someone looking after you to make sure you don't end up dead in a ditch in Glasgow, stuck under a double-decker bus, or in your case, leave you alone long enough to actually be you. You're probably both made for each other now I think about it.

You can both be together being both so horrendously useless and boneless that you could probably create a new level of useless relationships.

[He sighs, then rubs the back of his neck from his little outburst.]

Look, I really do think that you two cavernous air-heads should actually talk about this, even if I have to be there in the end to hand hold you both to an actual fucking conclusion.

[mo_cara]

Yeah, maybe. I'll be thinking on it. [sighs] But you don't think he hates me, right?

[candycrabapple]

You know. I think I can say without a doubt that Tavros Nitram doesn't hate you.

And to be perfectly fucking honest, I'm not even sure he can spell it, let alone experience it. Seriously, are you that stupid that you can't figure that one out on your own? This is Tavros? He apologises to his shadow, how could he hate you?

[mo_cara]

Yeah, I guess so. ... maybe he's just all sad and shit. I think that would be worse.

[candycrabapple]

[He gives Gamzee a sarcastic eyebrow] It's Tavros, everything makes him sad. And why the hell would he even be sad for? Because you like him? Yeah sure, having you as a dating choice is demoralising and makes you feel a little hopeless, but then again. It's Tavros and he has this weird optimism about things.

[mo_cara]

Sad 'cause he don't like me back. [explains] You know he don't like to be disappointing people.

[candycrabapple]

How do you even know that's still true, now?

[mo_cara]

Well ... I don't guess I do, but I think he probably don't, 'cause I asked him one time, and he said he weren't into blokes like that.

[candycrabapple]

Have you two even said anything to each other about it? The egg stuff I mean.

[mo_cara]

[shakes his head] I dunno, I thought I'd just be giving a motherfucker a little space.