3rd ♋

[candycrabapple]

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SCHOOL?

WELL NOTHING, ULTIMATELY THIS PLACE IS A FESTERING VOID OF TEEN DRAMA AND BULLSHIT, SO IF I WAS BEING HONEST, I'D ONLY ACTUALLY LIKE THE CURRICULUM, BUT EVEN THEN THE LEVEL OF HOMEWORK PISSES ME OFF.

NO, NO. WHAT I *LOVE* ABOUT THIS SCHOOL, IS THAT IT MANAGES TO MAKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER SHITFEST OUT OF ONE OF THE MORE ENJOYABLE HOLIDAYS OF THE YEAR.
IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK TO WANT ONE HOLIDAY WHERE SOMETHING DOESN'T GO COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY TITS UP, WITH SNAKE EGGS THAT CAN OOZE LOVE POTION PHEROMONES ON NEARLY EVERYONE IN SCHOOL? BECAUSE I'M REALLY STARTING TO THINK I'M GETTING MY HOPES FAR TO UP FOR THIS CRAP AND ONCE AGAIN THEY COME SPIRALLING DOWN INTO EITHER NAUSEATING DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION TO SOME MATCH UPS THAT ARE TOO HORRIFYING TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE WHEN IS I WAS TO BE COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MIND HIGH.

NOTE TO TEACHERS: THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS PLACE, NEXT HOLIDAY I'M JUST NOT LEAVING MY BED, I'LL JUST SLEEP THE DAY AWAY.

Comments

[allisnotlost]

im not evven goin to comment on the happenstances thatvve occurred but i am goin to say this in regards to all of this bullshit drama

it is a school for teenagers kar

[candycrabapple]

WE HAVE MORE DRAMA THAN A FUCKING HOLLY OAKS EPISODE, SO DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT.

ACTUALLY I'M SURE TELEVISION COMPANIES COULD COME HERE AND ACTUALLY GET NEW AND FRESH MATERIAL FOR THEIR SHITTIER-THAN-LIFE SHOWS. EVEN WITH ALL THE MAGIC THAT OOZES OUT OF THIS PLACE IT WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE BELIEVABLE.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ALL THIS LOVE POTION PISS ANY BETTER. ESPECIALLY AS I ACTUALLY ENJOY VALENTINE'S DAY.

[littlefairybull]

i THINK THAT IS PROBABLY,
tHE BEST IDEA,

[candycrabapple]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, FOR DOING THE INTELLIGENT THING AND ACTUALLY AGREEING WITH ME.

[littlefairybull]

gOOD THINGS NEVER HAPPEN,
sO SLEEPING IS, a FAR MORE ACCEPTABLE COURSE OF ACTION,
aS LONG AS THE DREAMS TO BE HAD ARE FUN,

[mo_cara]

WhAt LoVe PoTiOn?
I tHoUgHt We WeReN't AlLoWeD tO bE mAkInG tHoSe?

[candycrabapple]

DO YOU EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU, OR I DON'T KNOW, DUMBLEDORE'S LECTURE? SOME OF THE SNAKE EGGS ABSORBED SPILT LOVE POTION, YOU MIGHTY DILLHOLE.

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PULL THE CLOTH OUT OF YOUR EARS NOW AND AGAIN?

[mo_cara]

I wAs GeTtInG mY tHiNk On ElSeWiSe.
WoAh, ThAt MuSt HaVe BeEn LoOnEyBlOcK fOr PeOpLe WhAt

[Pause. Ink splatter.]

oh fuck

[marshall_lee]

It's kind of sick of how much it seems like things in or around this castle like to fuck with people.
I'm kind of tired of it getting into my head to be honest and I think your plan to stay in bed all day is brilliant and I just might follow suit myself.

[candycrabapple]

I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT THIS PLACE ACTUALLY GETS OFF ON FUCKING WITH OUR LIVES. AND I THINK WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING USED TO THIS HORSE SHIT.

I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHICH BIT IS WORSE SOMETIMES.

[marshall_lee]

It's pretty disturbing when you get jerked around and when it's over people are just all "haha! Look at the castle being weird again."

No..just...NO. This is not normal and we shouldn't start thinking of it as such.

[fuckmackandme]

and here i thought you would have liked all the new ships.

[candycrabapple]

DID YOU EVEN SEE SOME OF THOSE COUPLES? I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE PHYSICALLY COME UP WITH WORSE PAIRINGS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, NOT EVEN WITH THE ADVENT OF A MACHINE THAT COULD HELP YOU COME UP WITH THE WORST MATCH UPS EVER.

[strideallknight]

i hate valentines day
this years has been that bad
the whole thing has been ruined irreversibly for me

[candycrabapple]

HOW IN THE NAME OF THAT POMPOUS NEARLY-HEADLESS NICK, COULD YOU HATE VALENTINES DAY? IT IS PROBABLY THE SECOND BEST CELEBRATION OF UNCONDITIONAL AFFECTION FOR PEOPLE IMPORTANT TO YOU.

I KNOW I'M GOING TO FOREVER REGRET IN PRETENDING TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. BUT HEY, WHY NOT, MAYBE IT WILL GIVE ME INSIGHT INTO THAT OBSCENELY THICK SKULL THAT HAS SUNGLASSES BIOLOGICALLY FUSED TO THAT HEAD OF YOURS, BUT.

HOW WAS IT RUINED?

[allamericanreject]

This is why I dont like love potions. but i think your a bit overdramatic about all this i mean we are all teenagers and prone to teen drama and bullshit anyway.

so i guess i half agree with you?

[candycrabapple]

HOW THE HELL AM I BEING OVER-DRAMATIC OVER THIS COLOSSAL FUCK UP? IT'S BAD ENOUGH WE'RE ALL A BUNCH OF 'TEENAGERS PRONE TO TEEN DRAMA AND BULLSHIT', BUT IT'S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE THIS SHIT IS ALL CONCOCTED FOR SOME REALLY CREEPY AND KIND OF PEDOPHILIC BIG BROTHER TELEVISION SHOW.

OH, YOU'VE BEEN A PRETTY NORMAL SCHOOL, FOR AN OLD SCOTTISH CASTLE THAT TEACHES MAGIC. HOW ABOUT WE DEPOSIT SOME LOVE SNAKES INTO YOUR VALENTINES DAY, SEE IF THAT BECOMES A FUCKED UP INNUENDO FOR ALL OF YOU NOW.

EVER THINK THAT I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF DRAMATIC FOR THIS?

[stubbornskeptic]

I take it you had less than the ideal experience, Karkat?

[candycrabapple]

THE ONLY THING LESS THAN IDEAL ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE IS THAT I HAD TO WATCH EVERYONE ELSE ENJOY THEMSELVES WHILE I SAT AROUND TWIDDLING MY THUMBS LIKE A BORED TRAFFIC COP ON A SUNDAY MORNING.

[greaselightning]

sounds like to me youvwe got yourself a story to share, friend.

[candycrabapple]

JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A LOUD AND OPINIONATED STATEMENT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED DOES MEAN I HAVE A STORY. AND IF I DID HAVE A STORY, YOU ARE PROBABLY THE LAST PIECE OF GUM UNDER THE TABLE I'D SHARE IT WITH.

[tomatatas]

Language Mr Vantas.

I will say on the very unlikely chance that ever happens again I will accept that as an excuse of absence. But only that one. Otherwise I expect to see you there.

[candycrabapple]

WAIT? OH. RIGHT, YEAH.

WELL AT LEAST I KNOW THERE'S ONE TEACHER HERE SYMPATHETIC TO MY INCURIABLE ALLERGIES TO RIDICULOUS BULLSHI CRAP THAT NO NORMAL TEEN SHOULD HAVE TO GO TO. THIS IS AT LEAST A MAJOR RELIEF TO MY SYSTEM.

[toocoolforthis]

Do I even want to know why you'd call it "one of the most enjoyable holidays of the year?"

[candycrabapple]

BECAUSE IT'S THE DAY OF THE YEAR THAT CAN MAKE EVEN THE MOST PATHETIC AND SHYEST PERSON AROUND, BUNDLE UP WHAT LITTLE COURAGE THEY HAVE TO CONFESS TO THAT ONE PERSON THEY THINK WILL MAKE THEIR LIVES COMPLETE. EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR A MOMENT OR THEY WERE COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT IT.

AND IF THEY AREN'T THEN THEY GET TO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE TO CUDDLE UP ON THE COUCH WITH AND WATCH EVEN THE MOST SICKENINGLY SWEET ROMANCE DRAMAS.

[And one day, Karkat will be one of those people!]