WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

[3potionproblem]

WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

I need volunteers for tests involving physical stimuli -- primarily oral but tactile engagement is not to be discriminated against. Male and female applicants accepted. Disclosure of previous experience is required. Collected data will not be published.

Reply to apply. Genuine inquiries only.

Comments

[arrogantalloy]

[There's a long pause]

Why do I get the feeling one day I'm going to be called to get you bailed out of jail?

[3potionproblem]

I don't know, how long do you plan to stay in the UK?

Obviously there is a minimum age range to consider but there's no reason to publish it in a simple inquiry post. Terms and conditions can come later.

Even if the majority of the demographic here is quite a bit younger than me, I have an advantage at Hogwarts that I won't have outside of it. Hogwarts is the last time I will have seniority in my young life. When I pass through these doors, be it on holiday or for good, I will be at a marked disadvantage in making these sorts of inquiries; I will be in a vulnerable position rather than in one of power. The sad fact is that most people, especially of a certain age, are far more interested in taking advantage than in assisting freely. Despite popular opinion, I am not so naive as to not realize statements relating an interest and inexperience in intimate actions paints a target. Hogwarts is safer than anything that comes after it in pursuing study over pure sensationalism. At Hogwarts, I'm the predator, even though we both know I'm anything but, and so my studies can be simply that rather than there existing a risk of them becoming perverted from the primary intent.

If you have any further complaints in relation to my test parameters, you should probably just keep them to yourself.

[arrogantalloy]

Just because you aren't a predator, doesn't mean you aren't doing a really good job of sounding like one right now.

Why don't you just do it the normal way? You know, hitting on someone taking them out during hogsmead, then getting cosy behind a statute? It's easier.

[3potionproblem]

Easier? I've the charm of a snake and the face of a horse. This is much easier.

[arrogantalloy]

More like an Easter Island head.

But hey, some people like that you know.

[3potionproblem]

My point still stands.

[arrogantalloy]

You do know you're actually an attractive guy, right?

[3potionproblem]

Tall and skinny with big hands, a long face and my personality? No.

[arrogantalloy]

I could think of a few uses for big hands.

[3potionproblem]

I think I've already shown you at least one good use.

[arrogantalloy]

Yeah.

That wasn't a very fun use for everyone involved.

[3potionproblem]

It's also good for playing the violin. My fingers don't have to stretch very far to turn an E into an F.

[arrogantalloy]

Hmm, sure that would mean something if I ever played a violin.

But you're thinking in the wrong direction of me here.

[3potionproblem]

Is it to do with sex?

[arrogantalloy]

Now you've got it.

[3potionproblem]

Are all fourteen year olds as sexually invested as you?

[arrogantalloy]

Probably, how many do I even hang out with?

[3potionproblem]

More, I should think, than I do.

[arrogantalloy]

You don't hang out with anyone right now. It doesn't count.

[3potionproblem]

I might do soon enough. I'm meeting your friend Gamzee in fact.

[arrogantalloy]

Wait, you? Around Gamzee? That sounds hilarious.

[3potionproblem]

He is the most common person I have ever met. Who says 'motherfucker' in polite conversation?

[arrogantalloy]

Only Gamzee and Kurloz. That's for sure.

[3potionproblem]

It's almost fascinating on a cultural level. It's annoyingly offensive but still interesting.

[arrogantalloy]

Personally I think it would be weird if tey didn't use it. Kind of matches their

Their look, really.

That and when you spend time in New York, you find out there are worse things to hear being said in the street.