WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

[3potionproblem]

WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

I need volunteers for tests involving physical stimuli -- primarily oral but tactile engagement is not to be discriminated against. Male and female applicants accepted. Disclosure of previous experience is required. Collected data will not be published.

Reply to apply. Genuine inquiries only.

Comments

[arrogantalloy]

Oh god.

You're an idiot.

[3potionproblem]

I'm an idiot? You're not even eligible; don't waste my time.

[arrogantalloy]

This whole thing is a waste of time.

No one wants their kisses to be scientifically ranked.

[3potionproblem]

I did specify I would not publish my findings. I made sure to take other people's hesitancy into consideration.

[3houseswatson]

What.

I-

What?

Is this a fever dream? There's no way you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting.

[3potionproblem]

Have I written it down wrong again? It's supposed to be an inquiry for volunteers to "make out" with, though I find the colloquial to be a vague description of the required parameters.

[3houseswatson]

Oh my God. So that's really what this is.

Sherlock, you can't just... open up your own scientific kissing booth! It's just not on!

[3potionproblem]

Why?

[mo_cara]

hEy, BrO, iF yOu NeEd HeLp, I'm Up FoR aNyThInG!

[3potionproblem]

Anything but proper handwriting apparently.

Age and experience?

[mo_cara]

16, aNd VeRy.
;o)

[He totally thinks Sherlock is talking about drugs.]

[3potionproblem]

'Very' isn't exactly a statistical value but I suppose it will do. Name?

[innocent_insanity]

Sherlock.

What are you doing?

[3potionproblem]

Acquiring test subjects. Interested?

[innocent_insanity]

what kinda shiznits you testing for bro?

[3potionproblem]

Just levels of enjoyment, really. Very easy testing parameters that subjects needn't worry about.

[greenmoonrising]

I can't believe I'm saying this but please tell me you're testing for kissing and not for fellatio.

[3potionproblem]

You're not eligible so I don't see how it affects you but yes: kissing.

[greenmoonrising]

Good and why are you collecting data on kissing?




Also what do you mean not eligible?

I can kill the quirk if you want

[candycrabapple]

AND HERE I THOUGHT ROMANCE WAS DEAD, BUT THEN YOU GO AND PROVE ME SO FUCKING WRONG IT HURTS.


[Karkat really needs an ink that can purvey sarcasm, it would be really helpful for him.]

so far so good but thank you <3

[3potionproblem]

There is nothing romantic about it. It's science.

Yaaay

[candycrabapple]

OH, IT'S SCIENCE IS IT? WELL THEN THAT MAKES THIS WHOLE STUPID AND MORONIC IDEA OKAY THEN, I GUESS.

WAIT NO, IT ACTUALLY DOESN'T. WHAT IS EVEN GOING THROUGH THAT THEORETICALLY LARGE BRAIN OF YOURS TO MAKE YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING DUMB, EVEN FOR RAVENCLAW STANDARDS?

[marshall_lee]

...I gotta ask on what you hope to find out during this study.

[3potionproblem]

It's simply a matter of personal interest.

[marshall_lee]

Personal interest?
So..are you planning on observing other people kiss or are you planning on participating yourself?