WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

[3potionproblem]

WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

I need volunteers for tests involving physical stimuli -- primarily oral but tactile engagement is not to be discriminated against. Male and female applicants accepted. Disclosure of previous experience is required. Collected data will not be published.

Reply to apply. Genuine inquiries only.

Comments

[3houseswatson]

Yeah. Loads of reasons.

[There's a long pause pause before the next part appears, with a few little spots before it. Probably from awkwardly tapping his quill against the paper in thought.]

Hypothetically... completely and utterly hypothetically, mind you... if I did agree that experiment (once again: totally hypothetically), would you still need to round up five people to snog for science? It just seems kind of excessive to drag in a bunch of people if one person could solve the situation.

... hypothetically. Felt like I ought to throw one more of those on the pile.

[3potionproblem]

We didn't just spend a week apart to clear our heads just to kiss again. It's entirely counter productive. I won't kiss you and therefore any hypothetical situation stemming from such an action is a waste of time.

There is "us" and there is "me" and this is not an "us" topic. Perhaps we need more time apart if the idea of me kissing other people affects you enough to hypothetically volunteer to take the place of people you will never need to know about.

[3houseswatson]

Okay, calm down. You know I tend to drift into the "for the greater good" mindset a lot of the time, and if it was something that could be solved with one person instead of dragging in a bunch of others... well. Anyway, it obviously doesn't matter. Forget it.

Has your head cleared up any over the last week?

[3potionproblem]

I still associate you with certain things I didn't before if that's what you mean.

[3houseswatson]

I think I get what you're saying. No amount of attempted head-clearing will change the fact that you're the first bloke I've kissed, for example.

[3potionproblem]

You are a lot of firsts for me. Not that I regret it. Well, I shouldn't say that. I do regret it in some ways but not in that respect.

[3houseswatson]

First friend? First Muggleborn to come over to your house and completely scandalize your terrible dead relatives? All that good stuff, I'm sure.

What do you mean, though, that regret-but-not thing?

[3potionproblem]

Hard to explain, perhaps. I regret that the first person to love me really didn't. That the times I felt happy were all lies. Things along that line.

[3houseswatson]

It's not all lies, Sherlock. You've been happy and have had a good time with people before those snake eggs were even a twinkle in the eyes of a bunch of bigger snakes, and that's all been real. And let me tell you, as someone who's been in love before, the potion mimics the feeling closely, but it's not quite the same. The potion magnifies the feelings a lot.

So maybe you can use that for future reference? If you ever meet someone who makes you feel like the potion did but not quite with such an all-consuming passion, it's a good sign.

[3potionproblem]

I meant specifically during that week. But yes, I believe I have a good idea of what love will be like should it ever again be reciprocated.

We're far off target. Do you want to go back to arguing?

[3houseswatson]

Depends on your definition on argument. If "continued concerned questions in an attempt to get you to see reason" falls under that umbrella, then yes.

So you've said that if you kiss all these random people in your sample size and don't like it, you'll write off romance. Never mind that 'romance' and 'science kisses' are totally separate things, but what if you do happen to like any of it?

[3potionproblem]

Then I have the same capacity as everyone else to enjoy physical engagements. I won't necessarily pursue any but at least I'll know it's something to consider.

[3houseswatson]

Well. That's... somewhat reasonable, if you squint at it. But if you suddenly go head-over-heels for a random test subject, I'm dragging you off to have you tested for the potion.

The odds of me talking you out of this altogether are irritatingly slim, aren't they?

[3potionproblem]

Given the responses I've gotten thus far, the likelihood of me having any feelings above repulsed compliance is near nonexistent. One of them closed his introduction with "MoThErFuCkEr".

I'd say your chances were small but there seems to be a smaller chance of finding people willing to kiss me in the first place.

[3houseswatson]

If it was one of the Makaras, I'm pretty sure that's just how they talk. Like the way other people say "friend" or "mate" or "hello" or... "the".

Well, even if you can't get this odd experiment off the ground, do you really even need it? You'd just need to know that you want to kiss someone to know you're capable of enjoying it. Kind of stands to reason, doesn't it?

[3potionproblem]

I believe we've already covered options A through C. And seeing as I've never 'wanted' before you, that puts all the more weight behind the possibility I won't like it regardless.

[3houseswatson]

Looks like there's no talking you out of this. Just try not to let things go pear-shaped, because God knows it could in a situation like this.

And whatever you conclusion you make about whether you like or dislike this stuff, just remember that it's all fine.

[3potionproblem]

I know.

Oh, by the way, I've been inside the shrieking shack. Remind me to take you there sometime.

[3houseswatson]

What?

How'd you get in? Was there anything there?

[3potionproblem]

Tony showed me a secret path when we snuck out of Hogwarts. It's rather boring inside, really. But still interesting. I'd like to know what you make of it.

[3houseswatson]

Sherlock, I know we're not the best when it come to putting up filters, but even I know it's wise to throw one up when admitting to breaking the rules of the school.

[Filter]

Times like now. I'm in.

What were you doing sneaking out with Tony, though?

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

Knew you would be.

No one really cares to read through all our conversation about kissing just to find out I took a trip back to England. I just needed to get some stuff and Tony was sick enough of the violin to assist.

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

I'm torn between chastising you like mad for pulling that and being legitimately very impressed that you managed to not only slip out of school but make it into the Shrieking Shack and bloody England. I wouldn't be surprised if all these conflicted feelings give me an aneurism one day.

What did you need to get on this little adventure you went on?

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

Nothing of importance.

When do you want to sneak out?

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

Uh-huh, sure. You don't just pop into the next country over for nothing of importance.

Normally I'd say we ought to wait until I come of age at the end of the month, but considering you were able to slip out with Tony, who's still a few years shy of that...