WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

[3potionproblem]

WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

I need volunteers for tests involving physical stimuli -- primarily oral but tactile engagement is not to be discriminated against. Male and female applicants accepted. Disclosure of previous experience is required. Collected data will not be published.

Reply to apply. Genuine inquiries only.

Comments

[3houseswatson]

I think I get what you're saying. No amount of attempted head-clearing will change the fact that you're the first bloke I've kissed, for example.

[3potionproblem]

You are a lot of firsts for me. Not that I regret it. Well, I shouldn't say that. I do regret it in some ways but not in that respect.

[3houseswatson]

First friend? First Muggleborn to come over to your house and completely scandalize your terrible dead relatives? All that good stuff, I'm sure.

What do you mean, though, that regret-but-not thing?

[3potionproblem]

Hard to explain, perhaps. I regret that the first person to love me really didn't. That the times I felt happy were all lies. Things along that line.

[3houseswatson]

It's not all lies, Sherlock. You've been happy and have had a good time with people before those snake eggs were even a twinkle in the eyes of a bunch of bigger snakes, and that's all been real. And let me tell you, as someone who's been in love before, the potion mimics the feeling closely, but it's not quite the same. The potion magnifies the feelings a lot.

So maybe you can use that for future reference? If you ever meet someone who makes you feel like the potion did but not quite with such an all-consuming passion, it's a good sign.

[3potionproblem]

I meant specifically during that week. But yes, I believe I have a good idea of what love will be like should it ever again be reciprocated.

We're far off target. Do you want to go back to arguing?

[3houseswatson]

Depends on your definition on argument. If "continued concerned questions in an attempt to get you to see reason" falls under that umbrella, then yes.

So you've said that if you kiss all these random people in your sample size and don't like it, you'll write off romance. Never mind that 'romance' and 'science kisses' are totally separate things, but what if you do happen to like any of it?

[3potionproblem]

Then I have the same capacity as everyone else to enjoy physical engagements. I won't necessarily pursue any but at least I'll know it's something to consider.

[3houseswatson]

Well. That's... somewhat reasonable, if you squint at it. But if you suddenly go head-over-heels for a random test subject, I'm dragging you off to have you tested for the potion.

The odds of me talking you out of this altogether are irritatingly slim, aren't they?

[3potionproblem]

Given the responses I've gotten thus far, the likelihood of me having any feelings above repulsed compliance is near nonexistent. One of them closed his introduction with "MoThErFuCkEr".

I'd say your chances were small but there seems to be a smaller chance of finding people willing to kiss me in the first place.

[3houseswatson]

If it was one of the Makaras, I'm pretty sure that's just how they talk. Like the way other people say "friend" or "mate" or "hello" or... "the".

Well, even if you can't get this odd experiment off the ground, do you really even need it? You'd just need to know that you want to kiss someone to know you're capable of enjoying it. Kind of stands to reason, doesn't it?

[3potionproblem]

I believe we've already covered options A through C. And seeing as I've never 'wanted' before you, that puts all the more weight behind the possibility I won't like it regardless.

[3houseswatson]

Looks like there's no talking you out of this. Just try not to let things go pear-shaped, because God knows it could in a situation like this.

And whatever you conclusion you make about whether you like or dislike this stuff, just remember that it's all fine.

[3potionproblem]

I know.

Oh, by the way, I've been inside the shrieking shack. Remind me to take you there sometime.

[3houseswatson]

What?

How'd you get in? Was there anything there?

[3potionproblem]

Tony showed me a secret path when we snuck out of Hogwarts. It's rather boring inside, really. But still interesting. I'd like to know what you make of it.

[3houseswatson]

Sherlock, I know we're not the best when it come to putting up filters, but even I know it's wise to throw one up when admitting to breaking the rules of the school.

[Filter]

Times like now. I'm in.

What were you doing sneaking out with Tony, though?

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

Knew you would be.

No one really cares to read through all our conversation about kissing just to find out I took a trip back to England. I just needed to get some stuff and Tony was sick enough of the violin to assist.

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

I'm torn between chastising you like mad for pulling that and being legitimately very impressed that you managed to not only slip out of school but make it into the Shrieking Shack and bloody England. I wouldn't be surprised if all these conflicted feelings give me an aneurism one day.

What did you need to get on this little adventure you went on?

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

Nothing of importance.

When do you want to sneak out?

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

Uh-huh, sure. You don't just pop into the next country over for nothing of importance.

Normally I'd say we ought to wait until I come of age at the end of the month, but considering you were able to slip out with Tony, who's still a few years shy of that...

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

Nothing you need concern yourself with, then.

As long as no magic is used outside the grounds, there should be no reason to fear the trace. I can handle anything that pops up.

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

I think I ought to be the one to decide what I should or shouldn't concern myself with, but if you really don't want to talk about it, there's not much I can do about it.

If we did sneak out, what would you have in mind? Just the shack, or should I expect some other excursions?

[Filter]

[3potionproblem]

There is honestly nothing to talk about. Just forget it.

The shack is interesting but we could spend time in Hogsmeade if you like. Or travel. Where would you like me to kidnap you to?

[Filter]

[3houseswatson]

Okay, but if you ever do want to talk about... whatever, I'll listen.

Doesn't Hogsmeade run the risk of us bumping into people who'd definitely recognize us as students? I know you only just started doing the Hogsmeade thing in earnest this year, but I've gone every chance I had. I'm not saying don't 'kidnap' me there, but it might be dangerous.