WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

[3potionproblem]

WANTED: TEST SUBJECTS

I need volunteers for tests involving physical stimuli -- primarily oral but tactile engagement is not to be discriminated against. Male and female applicants accepted. Disclosure of previous experience is required. Collected data will not be published.

Reply to apply. Genuine inquiries only.

Comments

We barely knew thee

[candycrabapple]

NOTHING IS DUMB ABOUT KISSING PEOPLE, KISSING IS ONE OF THOSE WAYS TO SAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE. AND EVEN WHERE AND HOW YOU KISS SAYS A LOT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT PERSON.

THIS, THIS ISN'T ANY OF THAT. THIS IS JUST A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT THAT IS HOPEFULLY GOING TO BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE SO YOU NEVER DO SOMETHING THIS POINTLESS AGAIN.

[3potionproblem]

You're never been in a relationship and have clearly garnered all your opinions from film and fantasy.

[candycrabapple]

[There's a pause for that one, because wow. Nail on the head right there]

What the fuck are you even talking about. What the hell do you even know about me?

[3potionproblem]

I know enough from your demeanor. A sentimental romantic who couldn't buy the affections of another even had he all the sickles in Greengots.

[candycrabapple]

WOW, TALK ABOUT FUCK YOU. WHAT'S THIS SHIT ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO BUY AFFECTIONS? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND EVEN *WOULD* BUY AFFECTIONS, AND TO CORRECT YOUR VERY EASILY GIVEN OPINION, I DON'T NEED TO BUY AFFECTIONS. I CAN'T EVEN READILY THINK OF A DAY THAT I DON'T GET HIT ON IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER

[Okay, so he's referring to Gamzee making dumb comments or sleeping on him But Sherlock doesn't need to know that.]

[3potionproblem]

Oh, posturing as well. Never so much as held hands, then. Daydreamer. A romantic surrealist.

[candycrabapple]

[There are a lot of stops and starts on the paper, as well as inkblots. Because wow, way too accurate for Karkat to be comfortable with.]

POSTURING? POSTURING?! LIKE YOU COULD IN ANYWAY TALK, SEEING THAT WHEN EVER YOU POST ABOUT SOMETHING, IT'S YOU SHOWING OFF HOW GOD DAMN SMART AND DETACHED YOU ARE FROM BEING AN ACTUAL HUMAN.

ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IS BE AN IMITATION OF WHAT'S REAL.

ME? I AM REAL, REALER THAN YOU WOULD EVER CARE TO FUCKING COME CLOSE TO UNDERSTANDING, AND I ACTUALLY *DO* KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM WORK.

[3potionproblem]

I'm fine not being 'real'. At least I'm right.

[candycrabapple]

IN WHAT WAY ARE YOU RIGHT?BECAUSE I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT YOU'RE WRONG.

[3potionproblem]

You wouldn't be so defensive if I were.

[candycrabapple]

WHO'S BEING DEFENSIVE? BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME. ALL I'M DOING IS POINTING OUT HOW PATHETICALLY AND INEXCUSABLY WRONG YOU ARE, IN THIS LITTLE SITUATION HERE.

[3potionproblem]

I'd supply you a dictionary but I'm not certain I have time to also point out how to use one.

[candycrabapple]

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL. I'M NOT ONLY QUALIFIED TO OPERATE A DICTIONARY, I'M PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN THIS SCHOOL THAT EVEN KNOW'S WHAT THE PURPOSE OF ONE IS. SECOND OF ALL, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WOULDN'T BE?

UNLESS YOU'RE CHOOSING TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME BECAUSE OF HOW I WRITE, OR HOW I REACT TO THINGS, BECAUSE THEN YOU'RE IN FOR A BIT OF A SHIT SANDWICH THERE, BECAUSE WHILE MY GRADES AREN'T ALWAYS AT THE CLASSES HIGHEST, THEY'RE CONSISTENTLY WELL WORDED, AND THOUGHT OUT PIECES THAT THE TEACHERS NEVER HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.

[3potionproblem]

I say again: defensive.

[candycrabapple]

WHAT DOES BEING DEFENSIVE HAVE TO DO WITH DICTIONARIES, APART FROM THE OBVIOUS ONE OF THAT THE DEFINITION IS CONTAINED WITH IN THE PAGES BETWEEN DEFENSIBLE AND DEFER?

[3potionproblem]

Oh, good, you do know where to find it.

[candycrabapple]

OF COURSE I KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE MY BRAIN PLUGGED INTO MY ARSE. I'M JUST TRYING TO GET IT INTO YOUR ARROGANT MIND THAT I'M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE.

[3potionproblem]

Why, because being loud, annoying and wrong are better without a valid excuse?

[candycrabapple]

WRITING IN BLOCK LETTERS DOESN'T MAKE ME LOUD, ANNOYING OR WRONG. IT JUST MEANS I WRITING IN BLOCK-FUCKING-LETTERS. EVEN YOU WITH YOUR THEORETICALLY GIANT RAVENCLAW BRAIN SHOULD KNOW THAT MUCH.

[3potionproblem]

Block letters are synonymous with shouting. Annoying and wrong are just facts of your being based on the conversation thus far.

[candycrabapple]

THEY'RE ALSO SYNONYMOUS WITH GIVING A CLEAR POINT AND DIRECTION ON THINGS. LIKE WHEN YOU FILL OUT FORMS OR LOOK AT SIGNS.

I HAVEN'T BEEN WRONG ONCE IN THIS CONVERSATION, AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT COMPLETELY THE WRONG PERSON WHEN IT COMES TO ANNOYING, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE ALL KINDS OF YOU RIGHT NOW.

[3potionproblem]

Actually, one is asked to write in capital letters to decrease the likelihood of error in transcription. Lower case letter sets can mimic the construction of a single letter as with 'turn' and 'tum' or 'cluck' and 'duck'. It's less present in capitalization with the odd exception the likes of 'FLICK' and 'FUCK'.