THIRD ♋

[selfhatred]

SERIOUSLY, HOGWARTS? SERIOUSLY?
THE FUCKING RED STRING OF FATE?
YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

Comments

[mo_cara]

[But Gamzee doesn't answer, just staring at Karkat with a hard-to-read expression, utterly silent.]

[selfhatred]

[And he's just going to wait for Gamzee to talk, before he hears grumbling from the Fat Lady. Giving her a sneer of his own, Karkat steps out of the doorway to Gryffindor tower and into the hallway next to Gamzee, letting her close shut.]

[mo_cara]

What's it mean? [Gamzee asks finally. Because it doesn't feel like a screw up, but it doesn't quite fit what Karkat said earlier. They aren't lovers. And though Gamzee certainly wouldn't object even a little bit if things went that direction, he knows Karkat's not into that, and his friendship with the smaller boy is way, way more important to him than anything else.

But the string isn't tied to Karkat. It's just ... sitting there in front of him. Does this mean what he said at the party wasn't true? Or does it mean Gamzee's really been jonesing for the Gryffindor to be his actual boyfriend? He just doesn't know, and Karkat's supposed to be the expert on this is shit.]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat rubs his chin for a moment as he studies Gamzee's string first, then his own. His string trailed off in the direction of Ravenclaw tower, so it was painfully obvious where his heart's desire laid. What the hell was Hogwarts trying to say?]

I think what it fucking means is that it's more...not for lovers but more like...what our hearts desire or where they lie? Or some shit like that anyway. [He paused.] It's like...you like affections and shit and I give them to you. That's what you love right now about me, right?

[mo_cara]

[A lot of fifteen year old boys would be completely embarrassed to admit they loved one of their friends at all, but there's no hesitation at all when Gamzee answers.]

I love that about you, but that ain't even the whole thing. [earnestly] I love that you're always worrying about all them other brothers you know, and you all want them to find love and be happy and shit. And you put yourself out there and you don't care nothing about who gives you crap, because you know how important it is for people to be finding the one what they're supposed to be with forever. And I love that you yell and holler and shit but really you don't hardly even mean it, and I pity you like nobody's business, because you care so much about other people but you don't even know what to be doing with your ownself, and you're motherfuckin' blind to all the people what love you. And I think that must be maybe the worst thing, to have all these people what care about you and thinkin' you're always gonna be losing them, even though you're not. Because you can't even see what an amazing fucking person you are. You're about the most amazingest motherfucking dude I ever met, and you don't even know it.

[selfhatred]

[It's also a lot for a thirteen year old boy to take in. Gamzee's usually pretty honest in his feelings, so it probably comes as no surprise to the taller Slytherin that a small flush covers Karkat's cheeks. It's not an angry flush like it usually is, either. He's kind of speechless.]

Y-yeah...well...that's probably what your string means, then...

[mo_cara]

Yeah, I guess so. [looking down at it, brow furrowed, as though he hadn't just confessed a kind of adoration and devotion that few teenagers were okay with] Wonder why it ain't all tied on, though?

[selfhatred]

One thread per person, I guess. [Karkat frowns a little as he attempted to collect himself from that sudden confession.] It's usually the way it works, and since mine's connected to Jade yours mustn't connect.

[mo_cara]

Oh. [That's ... kind of sad. But also something Gamzee's used to, so he shoves the deep, mournful vibration, like one of the big bells in a church, down, down, down, and smiles at Karkat instead.] So you gone to find your lady yet, bro? Bet she'd be motherfuckin' tickled that your fates all be tied up together!

[selfhatred]

My thread's not that bright, so it's probably likely that she doesn't...exactly reciprocate. Or some shit. [Karkat gives a small shrug, lowering his hand before looking up at Gamzee.] Besides she's probably studying by now or something. I'd... [He licks his lips a little.] ...much rather be anywhere else than fucking there so I guess you're stuck with me.

[mo_cara]

Bright? [looking down at his thread, then Karkat's, then back up at his best friend. He's not sure how normal it is to want to be anywhere but with your girlfriend, but he also knows how much it sucks NOT to be the object of someone's affections, so-]

Hell, bro, you know you can always be all sticking up on me. [grins, and throws an arm around Karkat's shoulders, tugging him in] You wanna motherfuckin' go somewhere?

[selfhatred]

[He raised an eyebrow, not exactly fussing with the arm around his shoulder. He was used to it after all.]

It's like 7pm or something. Unless you wanna hang out in Gryffindor Tower, I don't think we're going anywhere.

[mo_cara]

Oh, yeah, kind motherfuckin' early to sneak anywhere. [bemusedly, then smiles again] I'll hang wherever you are, bro. S'where my motherfuckin' heart string goes, ain't it?

[selfhatred]

[He gives the smallest of smiles.] I don't think Egderp will mind if you sleep in our dorm tonight.

[mo_cara]

[blinks] ... yeah? [Gamzee's staring intently at Karkat now, a surprising hint of color in his cheeks.]

[selfhatred]

Yeah. [There's a small silence before Karkat continues.] Even if he does mind, I'll kick his ass. Besides, don't want you getting into fucking trouble once curfew sets in.

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee smiles again, wide, and slow and pure motherfuckin' sunshine.] I guess my motherfuckin' string do be all going the right place, with you looking out like that for me, bro.

[He leans into Karkat, ruffling his fingers through the hair on the back of the smaller boy's head and neck, then kisses him soundly on the temple.]

[selfhatred]

[A bright flush curls its way across Karkat's face and he ducked his head, shoulders hunching a little.] I guess it's doing its fucking job.

[mo_cara]

[chuckles his honking laugh] Well, then, come on, best friend. We got some prime hanging out to be doing, unless you still gots homework to be chewing up.