FOUR ♋

[selfhatred]

[The page is a myriad of crossed out sentences, most of them unintelligible, before it finishes in one sentence. This was also meant to be private but Mr Crabbypants forgot about that.]

I'M SORRY.

[After a few minutes that's scribbled out too and then this appears]

I'LL BE IN THE OWLERY IF ANYONE NEEDS ME.

Comments

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

K-Karkat, I'm... I'm so sorry!

[selfhatred]

It doesn't matter. It happened a while ago.

[Try four years and the fact that he's been blaming himself ever since it happened. Of course he's not gonna say that, but his tone of voice indicates enough.]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

But-! It... uh, it does... matter.

[selfhatred]

What do you want me to say? That past me was a fucking idiot for stepping out onto the fucking road? That she was a moron for pushing me out of the way of a fucking car? That I've been blaming myself for no fucking reason for the past four fucking years like everyone always fucking tells me?

[Karkat's voice gets angrier with each sentence, his grip on the handles of Tavros's wheelchair tightening considerably. Mount Vantas is getting ready to blow.]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Oh god he is just making everything worse. Maybe he should just stop speaking. But you can't just not speak when someone spills stuff like that.]

I... uh. It. Um, it's not- You're n- I-

[It's no use, he can't form a proper sentence.]

[selfhatred]

[He shakes his head, hating himself for just bursting out like that.]

It doesn't matter.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Yeah, he's... not going to disagree with you on that again.]

Um... Okay.

Do you, uh... wanna talk about it?

[The question is quiet enough that Karkat can choose to ignore it by pretending he didn't hear it. It took all of Tav's guts to even ask, but. He's a good enough friend that he'll at least offer, even at the risk of getting yelled at.]

[selfhatred]

No, I don't.

[He really didn't want to talk about it. He'd already told Tavros more than what he'd intended.]