FOUR ♋

[selfhatred]

[The page is a myriad of crossed out sentences, most of them unintelligible, before it finishes in one sentence. This was also meant to be private but Mr Crabbypants forgot about that.]

I'M SORRY.

[After a few minutes that's scribbled out too and then this appears]

I'LL BE IN THE OWLERY IF ANYONE NEEDS ME.

Comments

[selfhatred]

Life can be pretty fucking miserable. But you know what? It happens. Shit happens and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. [The Gryffindor tilts his head back against Gamzee's face, draping his arms over his knees.] You just pack your shit up and move the fuck on. Hakuna matata and all that crap.

[mo_cara]

Nah. There's something else you can do. You gotta hang on to what you got left. [Gamzee's arms tighten around the smaller boy, and he buries his face in the nape of Karkat's neck.] And tell 'em every motherfuckin' day how important they are. You can't maybe stop 'em from going away, but you can make sure they know what they are to you, you know?

[selfhatred]

[He ponders the taller boy's words for a moment before glancing down at the letter in his hand. It's crinkled by the way his fingers have clenched around it, as they all end up and he turns in his spot on the window sill, standing with his robes falling around his ankles (they were way too big for him. He really had to talk to his uncle about getting new ones). Holding his arm out, he waits for an owl to swoop down, almost hesitating.]

...What if he hates me?

[mo_cara]

Does that be making any difference to how you feel right now?

[selfhatred]

...I guess it doesn't.

[Karkat felt his stomach in his throat as he stared at the barn owl waiting patiently on his arm, looking at him with those fucking eyes that could drill holes into his soul. Squaring his shoulders, the Gryffindor handed the letter to the owl before telling it the name of the platoon his dad had been assigned to last he'd known. He watched it leave before placing both hands to his face, breathing heavily into them.]

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee dropped his hands to wrap his long arms around Karkat's waist, just holding him silently. While he knew he couldn't understand everything that was going through Karkat's head, it was easy to tell that this was hard for him. Asking if he was okay seemed stupid - of course he wasn't, though the Slytherin thought he would be. So instead Gamzee just stayed behind him, a solid weight to lean back into if he needed. The older boy quite literally had his best friend's back.]